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Hang out with me tonight to help me stay sober - for you, too!

Old 04-20-2015, 08:59 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hey, Pouncer. Sounds like you are doing well. ..but my suggestion is to dump that booze immediately. I wouldn't dare have it in the house. I think it would wear on my nerves and cause me trouble. Just get rid of it. And enjoy your night....do something relaxing and indulgent like take a bubble bath and listen to music. Enjoy the time that you have to yourself. Think about being happy with your career and going to Yellowstone. ..these things are possible as long as you stay sober.
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Old 04-20-2015, 09:03 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Elseware View Post
My triggers are sometimes when I'm feeling good. I want to feel even better. Live it up a little. Sometimes I'll sit and think of the pleasure of alcohol or opiates slipping over me like warm chocolate sauce, this is VERY bad and a real trigger so if my mind goes there, I listen to music or read a sexy novel. Or go find my husband and kiss and hug him. Or sometimes I exercise. This gets those endorphins going a little

Other triggers are when I feel overwhelmed with anxiety. To much to do and not enough energy to do it. Getting high gives me energy at the beginning. I deal with this by saying "NO" much more often than I ever did before. It's dangerous for me to get over tired. Sometimes people don't like it when I say no to them and I've had to learn to deal with other people's being "mad" at me. This was uncomfortable for a very long time and still is. I'm learning to tolerate it, and rest when I need it.

What is NOT a trigger for me is a crisis situation. I'm great when the going gets rough. It's the day to day boring reality that will bring on the niggling to get high.

To much disorder around my house is another one. I am learning to be careful about picking up after myself and everyone else if it comes to that, because I really can't stand big messy houses around me. That's when some of the overwhelming anxiety can slip in. I need very much to keep up with cleaning up my environment.

So that's some of my things
Geez. Those are all the same triggers for me, especially happiness. I hate having a messy house. I have one right now.

I am not doing very well, but I am not craving alcohol, yet. I am expecting that to happen.

My sister-in-law is being very demanding right now. She has been forwarding me very stressful emails between her and her ex. He is an authentic sociopath - she is emotional and irresponsible (but a usually nice person and a friend). The thoughts and feelings I am having while just glancing at the novel-sized email thread made me very uneasy and anxious. This former family member has been physically abusive and most of all, mentally abusive (the latter to all of us). He has caused an enormous rift in my husband's family. I cannot even talk or think about it because it is overwhelming. I cannot be around it or exposed to it. I deleted the emails she sent. I won't read them.

Then she sends me a volley of text messages: where have you been? I NEED your help? You have time for everyone else and this project, but you don't have time to respond?!? She was expecting me to help her write a legal summary tonight to get visitation to see her kids. I needs to be done by tomorrow. Yep. It is 9 PM in my world.

I simply texted her that I was busy dealing with a health-related issue. What bothers me is that I have done so much for her over the last 15 years - to an almost codependent level. I need time for self-care and sobriety is the most important health issue. I am there for everyone except me. I have always been that way - this kind of stuff is a major trigger for me. I do care about her and her bad situation, but for me, this is life and death.

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Old 04-20-2015, 09:03 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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It's my Friday night, and there's no weekend thread!

For me, the trigger of having booze in our home is huge. It had to be all gone before I could quit drinking. I would probably not be sober if my partner did not quit at the same time I did.

Last edited by Coldfusion; 04-20-2015 at 09:07 PM. Reason: added last sentence
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Old 04-20-2015, 09:04 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by happyandfree View Post
Hey, Pouncer. Sounds like you are doing well. ..but my suggestion is to dump that booze immediately. I wouldn't dare have it in the house. I think it would wear on my nerves and cause me trouble. Just get rid of it. And enjoy your night....do something relaxing and indulgent like take a bubble bath and listen to music. Enjoy the time that you have to yourself. Think about being happy with your career and going to Yellowstone. ..these things are possible as long as you stay sober.
Already did it. It has completed its journey to my septic tank right about now.
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Old 04-20-2015, 09:13 PM
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Excellent! Bravo to you, Pouncer.
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Old 04-20-2015, 09:20 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Pouncer: From one March 2015 class member to another--I know you can stay sober tonight. Think how good you'll feel in the morning. Right now I'm eating some ice cream and listening to classical music. It is relaxing.
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Old 04-20-2015, 10:12 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Sorry Pouncer that sounds really stressful and you absolutely have every right to look after yourself and tell others 'no' - I know how hard that is I wear myself out helping family too, but like you said it's life and death for you, that has to be your priority.
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Old 04-20-2015, 10:18 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Feeling good right now. The best thing happened. My husband finally heard my whining to get the booze out of the house. He is a daily wine drinker and he took all of his wine out. I didn't notice until I was getting out some milk for the kids. The wine is always next to the milk and I noticed nothing was there. There is no alcohol in the house. Yippee!

I also asserted my boundaries with my sister-in-law. I told her I could help her this weekend when I have time. Not anytime during the week.

In a way, I have to admit that a little bit of me died inside when I understood that there was not a drop of alcohol in the house. I think that was my AV feeling dejected. It is still whimpering, 'Maybe he hid it somewhere inside the house.'

Got the kids in their pajamas and off to bed. Husband is 45 minutes away from home. I am just sitting down for a late dinner - sirloin and spinach salad. I don't think I was craving alcohol tonight because I was proactive and resolute about staying sober. I have to give you all a big 'thank you' for getting me through this. It was so much easier with help.
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Old 04-20-2015, 10:25 PM
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Excellent Pouncer!!
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Old 04-20-2015, 10:30 PM
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So glad to hear that Pouncer!
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Old 04-21-2015, 06:10 AM
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