A newbie story, binge drinker
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 11
A newbie story, binge drinker
Hello all,
I have never thought of myself as an alcoholic. The disease does run in my family, but when I think of an alcoholic, I think of a person that has debilitating physical withdrawal after not being able to drink on a daily basis. After a lot of thought and research from various online sources, I have changed my thoughts on what makes a person an alcoholic. Reading peoples stories about binge drinking have given me a lot to think about.
I am 35 years old, happily married with 2 children. I have a great secure job, and a good family/social life. I love spending time with friends, family and neighbors. In my younger days, I would drink beer on occasion socially (weekends, parties, etc.) and never cared much about how often or how much I consumed. People around me were drunk when I was drunk. I liked the feeling of being buzzed or drunk. It loosened me up, and I just generally liked the feeling. I rarely would be out of control to the point that the following day I would learn that I did something stupid that I didn't remember. Hangovers were tough to deal with, but never enough of a deterrent to keep me from going out and drinking heavily next time.
As my life went on, the times to drink socially slowed. Friends became more busy in their adult lives, as did I. Out to dinner, I might have a beer or two. But any situation that came up where drinking was the main focus, such as parties, weddings, sporting events, etc., I would look forward to the occasion as a time to "get drunk and relax", but my wife, friends, family would treat the occasion differently. They would have a few drinks....slowly. Then they would be done drinking for the night, no problem. I wasn't used to this. People were always drunk around me, and now I was turning into the guy that was drinking at a faster pace and getting drunk while everyone around me would stop after a few. This went on for a long time, but nobody seemed to mind. I don't get abusive, violent, or anything like that. But I am noticeably intoxicated, slurring my words and forgetting things from time to time. Nothing was ever pointed out to me and I didn't think twice about it, as I know some of the people I was with would drink more often than me. I thought all that mattered was the number of times a person drinks, not the amount consumed.
Time went by, and not much changed except that I would find more things that seemed to get even better if I had a few drinks in me. So dinner and a movie turned into: sneaking a few (4-5) shots of liquor into the movie theater to mix with my coke, followed by dinner, where I would drink as many beers as I could without tipping off my wife that I was getting drunk (she generally would have a shot or two in her coke at movie, followed by a glass of wine at dinner). After dinner, if I had successfully not worried my wife about how much I had, we would end up at a local bar close to the house, where I would continue to drink beer until the end of our night. When we got home, depending on how I felt, I would either join my wife in bed and pass out shortly after, or continue to drink beer downstairs by myself at home.
On nights that we weren't going out anywhere, it has become more common for us to have drinks at home in the evening while we play a board game, watch a movie, hang out outside when the weather is nice. But every time, by the end of the night my wife would have had no more than 2 mixed drinks, while the kitchen counter was littered with my beer cans (almost always 8 or more). Over time, she began to notice, and even once the next morning she asked me why I had drank so many beers. After being questioned about my habit of drinking more than I probably should, I would purposely drink fewer during our next couple drinking sessions, to avoid being questioned. That was quickly followed by me hiding the amount I was drinking (throwing beer cans into the bottom of trash when she was in the bathroom, etc). I even began buying beer in 16 oz cans instead of the 12 oz, hoping the "number" of beers I had wouldn't alarm her. After a while, it didn't matter, as there would still be 8 or more cans, of the 16oz style, sitting on the counter in the morning...and even after hiding some of my empties. I would get questioned, and drink less. But the number would quickly rise again.
In recent months, I have alarmed my wife many times because she worries about the amount I consume, and sh e points it out to me. The thing that drives me crazy is that she never referrers to it as a "problem", just that she doesn't understand why I want or need to get drunk everytime I drink. But on the flip side, I don't understand why she doesn't drink more than a drink or two on occasion. She is totally content in having one mixed drink and calling it a night. If I have one, it always turns into two, three, four....more. Even with the amount of times she has been alarmed by my drinking, it doesn't stop her from having a drink and asking "what are you having tonight" as if she expects me to have one beer to unwind.
I find myself not even wanting a drink if I look in the fridge and see only 2 or 3 cans of beer. I know that if I have only those, I won't be happy. I'd rather leave them there and not drink at all, and wait until I have restocked my supply so when I start drinking I can have as many as I like.
I am starting to realize my problem and am making a serious effort to change. Feels good to get all this off my chest, thanks for reading.
I have never thought of myself as an alcoholic. The disease does run in my family, but when I think of an alcoholic, I think of a person that has debilitating physical withdrawal after not being able to drink on a daily basis. After a lot of thought and research from various online sources, I have changed my thoughts on what makes a person an alcoholic. Reading peoples stories about binge drinking have given me a lot to think about.
I am 35 years old, happily married with 2 children. I have a great secure job, and a good family/social life. I love spending time with friends, family and neighbors. In my younger days, I would drink beer on occasion socially (weekends, parties, etc.) and never cared much about how often or how much I consumed. People around me were drunk when I was drunk. I liked the feeling of being buzzed or drunk. It loosened me up, and I just generally liked the feeling. I rarely would be out of control to the point that the following day I would learn that I did something stupid that I didn't remember. Hangovers were tough to deal with, but never enough of a deterrent to keep me from going out and drinking heavily next time.
As my life went on, the times to drink socially slowed. Friends became more busy in their adult lives, as did I. Out to dinner, I might have a beer or two. But any situation that came up where drinking was the main focus, such as parties, weddings, sporting events, etc., I would look forward to the occasion as a time to "get drunk and relax", but my wife, friends, family would treat the occasion differently. They would have a few drinks....slowly. Then they would be done drinking for the night, no problem. I wasn't used to this. People were always drunk around me, and now I was turning into the guy that was drinking at a faster pace and getting drunk while everyone around me would stop after a few. This went on for a long time, but nobody seemed to mind. I don't get abusive, violent, or anything like that. But I am noticeably intoxicated, slurring my words and forgetting things from time to time. Nothing was ever pointed out to me and I didn't think twice about it, as I know some of the people I was with would drink more often than me. I thought all that mattered was the number of times a person drinks, not the amount consumed.
Time went by, and not much changed except that I would find more things that seemed to get even better if I had a few drinks in me. So dinner and a movie turned into: sneaking a few (4-5) shots of liquor into the movie theater to mix with my coke, followed by dinner, where I would drink as many beers as I could without tipping off my wife that I was getting drunk (she generally would have a shot or two in her coke at movie, followed by a glass of wine at dinner). After dinner, if I had successfully not worried my wife about how much I had, we would end up at a local bar close to the house, where I would continue to drink beer until the end of our night. When we got home, depending on how I felt, I would either join my wife in bed and pass out shortly after, or continue to drink beer downstairs by myself at home.
On nights that we weren't going out anywhere, it has become more common for us to have drinks at home in the evening while we play a board game, watch a movie, hang out outside when the weather is nice. But every time, by the end of the night my wife would have had no more than 2 mixed drinks, while the kitchen counter was littered with my beer cans (almost always 8 or more). Over time, she began to notice, and even once the next morning she asked me why I had drank so many beers. After being questioned about my habit of drinking more than I probably should, I would purposely drink fewer during our next couple drinking sessions, to avoid being questioned. That was quickly followed by me hiding the amount I was drinking (throwing beer cans into the bottom of trash when she was in the bathroom, etc). I even began buying beer in 16 oz cans instead of the 12 oz, hoping the "number" of beers I had wouldn't alarm her. After a while, it didn't matter, as there would still be 8 or more cans, of the 16oz style, sitting on the counter in the morning...and even after hiding some of my empties. I would get questioned, and drink less. But the number would quickly rise again.
In recent months, I have alarmed my wife many times because she worries about the amount I consume, and sh e points it out to me. The thing that drives me crazy is that she never referrers to it as a "problem", just that she doesn't understand why I want or need to get drunk everytime I drink. But on the flip side, I don't understand why she doesn't drink more than a drink or two on occasion. She is totally content in having one mixed drink and calling it a night. If I have one, it always turns into two, three, four....more. Even with the amount of times she has been alarmed by my drinking, it doesn't stop her from having a drink and asking "what are you having tonight" as if she expects me to have one beer to unwind.
I find myself not even wanting a drink if I look in the fridge and see only 2 or 3 cans of beer. I know that if I have only those, I won't be happy. I'd rather leave them there and not drink at all, and wait until I have restocked my supply so when I start drinking I can have as many as I like.
I am starting to realize my problem and am making a serious effort to change. Feels good to get all this off my chest, thanks for reading.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome smallbowl and thanks for sharing your story. It's a very common one so know that you are among those who understand. I also progressed from a "social" drinker to an at-home drinker. The next stop was every day binge drinking. Hiding empties and the beer itself becomes nearly as much of a burden as the drinking itself.
For me "cutting back" was not an option...quitting for good was my cure. SR can offer a wealth of suport and info on how to quit and stay quit, hope you can stick around.
For me "cutting back" was not an option...quitting for good was my cure. SR can offer a wealth of suport and info on how to quit and stay quit, hope you can stick around.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
smallbowl
Wow!! You have perfectly described the progression of being a social drinker to becoming an alcoholic. Your story is very much like mine. Drinking wasn't really much of a problem when I was in my twenty's, but it slowly changed over time. When I was young, I was doing pretty much what everybody else was doing (even though, back then people would sometimes express some concerns about my heavy use). After a while, when I was out with friends or family, I would notice the people I was with would just have a few, but I would drink a lot more. I was getting pretty self-conscious about this, so I would hide small bottles of vodka in my socks, etc., then excuse myself to the restroom, drink them, then go back to the people I was with and just have a few like they did. I even started carrying a flask with me to outings that had no booze to drink. Thought nothing of it. Eventually that wasn't enough, so along with that, I would always have a lot of liquor at home, which helped me to just have those few when out, knowing I had all that liquor at home. Over time, eventually started turning down invites to go out whenever I could, and just stayed home and got drunk.
I've posted enough, but the bottom line is that the people I knew went one direction, and I went another. It really bites, but I had to face the fact that I am an alcoholic, and needed to do something about it. It's not fun nor is it easy, but I had to make changes if I planned on living a long and productive life. I wish you all the best. John
Wow!! You have perfectly described the progression of being a social drinker to becoming an alcoholic. Your story is very much like mine. Drinking wasn't really much of a problem when I was in my twenty's, but it slowly changed over time. When I was young, I was doing pretty much what everybody else was doing (even though, back then people would sometimes express some concerns about my heavy use). After a while, when I was out with friends or family, I would notice the people I was with would just have a few, but I would drink a lot more. I was getting pretty self-conscious about this, so I would hide small bottles of vodka in my socks, etc., then excuse myself to the restroom, drink them, then go back to the people I was with and just have a few like they did. I even started carrying a flask with me to outings that had no booze to drink. Thought nothing of it. Eventually that wasn't enough, so along with that, I would always have a lot of liquor at home, which helped me to just have those few when out, knowing I had all that liquor at home. Over time, eventually started turning down invites to go out whenever I could, and just stayed home and got drunk.
I've posted enough, but the bottom line is that the people I knew went one direction, and I went another. It really bites, but I had to face the fact that I am an alcoholic, and needed to do something about it. It's not fun nor is it easy, but I had to make changes if I planned on living a long and productive life. I wish you all the best. John
Last booze: April 10 2015
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: London
Posts: 98
Hi Smallbowl,
Thank you very much for sharing your story. I'm a newbie on here too and reading the stories of others puts my own situation into perspective. You (and I) are not alone. Coming to realise that you are more of a boozer than your partner/friends/colleagues etc is not a nice realisation to have and it is easy to make things feel better by hiding it. For me, the ONLY solution to this was stopping completely. I'm not the best person to advise you on how to do this but I would certainly recommend that as the best option. You have managed to find ways around some of the restrictions to drinking placed on you by others, and you will probably continue to do this unless you grasp the nettle and realise that you're powerless against alcohol. I gave up a couple of days ago - that is I gave up alcohol and I gave in to it at the same time. It beat me; I couldn't compete with it and I never will. It was a foe that was just too strong for me. That surrender; that realisation that I was always going to lose was one of the things that has helped me make this decision.
Now I don't compete with alcohol, it will always beat me, so now I don't even accept the challenge.
Best Wishes
C
Thank you very much for sharing your story. I'm a newbie on here too and reading the stories of others puts my own situation into perspective. You (and I) are not alone. Coming to realise that you are more of a boozer than your partner/friends/colleagues etc is not a nice realisation to have and it is easy to make things feel better by hiding it. For me, the ONLY solution to this was stopping completely. I'm not the best person to advise you on how to do this but I would certainly recommend that as the best option. You have managed to find ways around some of the restrictions to drinking placed on you by others, and you will probably continue to do this unless you grasp the nettle and realise that you're powerless against alcohol. I gave up a couple of days ago - that is I gave up alcohol and I gave in to it at the same time. It beat me; I couldn't compete with it and I never will. It was a foe that was just too strong for me. That surrender; that realisation that I was always going to lose was one of the things that has helped me make this decision.
Now I don't compete with alcohol, it will always beat me, so now I don't even accept the challenge.
Best Wishes
C
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 11
Thanks all, I really enjoy reading your replies. They are going to be a great help and inspiration.
Today is obviously my first day here, and i was looking back on my calendar. My last drink was one beer on 04/07/15 (national beer day) and I only had one because I didn't have anymore in the fridge. My last binge was on 04/05/15, when I had 6- 16oz cans of beer during a baseball game. I haven't yet told my wife that I'm posting here or that I am contemplating stopping drinking. Last night while I was reading up on some posts, she enjoyed two cocktails and I chose to have nothing because only 2 beers are in the fridge. This morning I emptied them and tossed the cans. It will be hard for me to tell her about this, and I am not looking forward to her reaction (probably of surprise that I think I need to quit completely instead of cutting down, but she doesn't realize that permanently cutting down is just not something I have the will power for). Anyways, one day I'll work up the courage to talk about this site and my decision, or she will continue to question why I'm not drinking at all.
For now my plan, if asked by family or friends, is to use a work weight loss "contest" as my initial excuse for stopping drinking. And it's an automatic bonus, as I will certainly lose more weight when I don't take in 1000 or more calories from alcohol during a sitting. IS THIS A SAFE OR FAIR THING TO DO IN THE BEGINNING STAGE OR AM I "TRICKING" THOSE I CARE ABOUT? Any advise is welcomed
Thanks again for the support and I will continue to enjoy reading your posts and replies.
Today is obviously my first day here, and i was looking back on my calendar. My last drink was one beer on 04/07/15 (national beer day) and I only had one because I didn't have anymore in the fridge. My last binge was on 04/05/15, when I had 6- 16oz cans of beer during a baseball game. I haven't yet told my wife that I'm posting here or that I am contemplating stopping drinking. Last night while I was reading up on some posts, she enjoyed two cocktails and I chose to have nothing because only 2 beers are in the fridge. This morning I emptied them and tossed the cans. It will be hard for me to tell her about this, and I am not looking forward to her reaction (probably of surprise that I think I need to quit completely instead of cutting down, but she doesn't realize that permanently cutting down is just not something I have the will power for). Anyways, one day I'll work up the courage to talk about this site and my decision, or she will continue to question why I'm not drinking at all.
For now my plan, if asked by family or friends, is to use a work weight loss "contest" as my initial excuse for stopping drinking. And it's an automatic bonus, as I will certainly lose more weight when I don't take in 1000 or more calories from alcohol during a sitting. IS THIS A SAFE OR FAIR THING TO DO IN THE BEGINNING STAGE OR AM I "TRICKING" THOSE I CARE ABOUT? Any advise is welcomed
Thanks again for the support and I will continue to enjoy reading your posts and replies.
Last booze: April 10 2015
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: London
Posts: 98
Good work Smallbowl! My housemate (we're like a married couple only we're not a couple!) is usually very supportive when I sort my act out a bit, but she likes a few beers herself and whenever I attempt to quit she will always tell me 'You should just cut-down. You don't have to stop completely'. I think she's slightly worried of losing her drinking buddy. She knows very well I drink too much and isn't afraid to tell me, but doesn't understand that it's all or nothing for me. I really hope your lady wife can understand your decision and accommodate it. I know very well that I'm a much better housemate when I'm not drinking, and I'm convinced my housie really does prefer me that way, whatever she says! :-)
Best wishes
C
Best wishes
C
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Smallbowl, I see so many similarities in your story that apply to mine as well. I was always a always a big drinker but only in social situations where everyone else was also drinking. throughout my time as a college student and through my 20's, I drank heavily at parties, bars, weddings, holidays etc. it didn't seem inappropriate at the time and there were no real consequences besides increasingly worse hangovers. My friends/coworkers drank almost as much as me so I wasn't concerned.
Something changed, however, as I approached my 30th birthday. after what seemed like an endless string of weddings each summer in my late 20's, most of my friends/social circle settled down to focus on wife/kids/careers. I was in a long term relationship myself that was heading toward marriage. The partying largely faded away but I then began to drink alone at home after work. Soon I was drinking a 5th of vodka by myself on weeknights. My tolerance had risen dramatically so when I did socialize, I needed to be sneaky to get more booze in me because nursing a six pack over a night like my friends were now doing wasn't going to cut it. I was pouring shots of vodka into my beers and no one was the wiser. When my girlfriend went to bed at 10pm, I would then really start drinking.
I ended up becoming a heavy daily drinker. I would have to sneak off from work at lunch and drain a couple pints in order to ward off withdrawal symptoms. I was now switching up liquor stores to buy my daily 5th of vodka because I was paranoid about being recognized too often by the staff (classic alcoholic behaviour).
To make a long story short. I ended up a 24/7 vodka drinker. Lost my job, the girl, house, basically everything besides a couple suitcases of clothes. Ended up in rehab at 34 a broken man. I am 38 now, sober, but still struggling to put the pieces back together. I ruined my credit and because of a DUI I have a criminal record. Finding employment in my field has been very difficult because I can't pass a background check.
I implore you to address your drinking now while you still have a career and marriage/family to save. Alcoholism is progressive and things will get worse if you don't.
Something changed, however, as I approached my 30th birthday. after what seemed like an endless string of weddings each summer in my late 20's, most of my friends/social circle settled down to focus on wife/kids/careers. I was in a long term relationship myself that was heading toward marriage. The partying largely faded away but I then began to drink alone at home after work. Soon I was drinking a 5th of vodka by myself on weeknights. My tolerance had risen dramatically so when I did socialize, I needed to be sneaky to get more booze in me because nursing a six pack over a night like my friends were now doing wasn't going to cut it. I was pouring shots of vodka into my beers and no one was the wiser. When my girlfriend went to bed at 10pm, I would then really start drinking.
I ended up becoming a heavy daily drinker. I would have to sneak off from work at lunch and drain a couple pints in order to ward off withdrawal symptoms. I was now switching up liquor stores to buy my daily 5th of vodka because I was paranoid about being recognized too often by the staff (classic alcoholic behaviour).
To make a long story short. I ended up a 24/7 vodka drinker. Lost my job, the girl, house, basically everything besides a couple suitcases of clothes. Ended up in rehab at 34 a broken man. I am 38 now, sober, but still struggling to put the pieces back together. I ruined my credit and because of a DUI I have a criminal record. Finding employment in my field has been very difficult because I can't pass a background check.
I implore you to address your drinking now while you still have a career and marriage/family to save. Alcoholism is progressive and things will get worse if you don't.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Originally Posted by smallbowl 
I find myself not even wanting a drink if I look in the fridge and see only 2 or 3 cans of beer. I know that if I have only those, I won't be happy. I'd rather leave them there and not drink at all, and wait until I have restocked my supply so when I start drinking I can have as many as I like.
I can identify with many of your drinking habits and hiding how much I was drinking from those I am with. I'm 29, so at a similar stage where it's not as commonplace for my friends to be totally hammered like it was a few years back. It is certainly stressful to be out drinking and figuring out how to maybe sneak a shot at the bar when going up to order a round for the table, taking some shots before going out so that I'd have a head start, etc.
The quote above really struck a chord with me though. I am the EXACT same way! If I'm out for lunch and someone around me orders a beer, I think "what the heck, you can't get drunk now, so why order just one!?" If I see a little bit of booze left over in my apartment and all the liquor stores are closed cuz it's late, I don't get a craving since I know I won't be able to get hammered. Definitely not healthy to have that response.
Thanks for sharing your story. Keep posting here and staying sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 11
Yes, it is weird to think, now that I'm looking at it this way, that when I imagine a night of drinking, I get an image of no less than 6 beers to be even worth my time. With any less, I'm not very buzzed, and without the buzz I don't see the point. I like to drink to unwind and feel the way an alcohol buzz feels. It temporarily takes the worry out of my day. Today for instance, a beautiful sunny day here, I'd normally begin drinking while playing with my kids outside. Very slowly of course, maybe only one or two beers all afternoon until kids bedtime, but still a slow consumption is fine with me as long as I know that there is no reason to stop later on. I see now how unhealthy that habit is, and i never took it seriously. Because by all estimation, I would be drunk tonight and then not have another drop for 5 or 6 days, maybe more. But the next session would be no less than 6-8 beers, likely many more. I feel fortunate that I have found this forum and I have spent a lot of time reading here today. I will not be drinking tonight, and i probably will have no problem with that. Once my first social situation comes up with those who know my normal way of drinking (beer after beer after beer...) is going to be really really tough for me. I think of myself as a very good friend, husband, father, etc, but I am a very private person. For me to not have a drink and at the same time announce that I plan to give up drinking would be a bombshell, as most of the people around me would not look at me, even after my 10th beer of the night while they've only had 2, and say "jeez, he's an alcoholic". So as I said before, when I go out and don't drink, I will have to make excuses in the beginning to not alarm those around me....they would probably try their best to convince me that I don't have a problem, and not to worry about it. I don't look forward to that first or second or third situation where I'm either letting people know my intentions or making excuses. But I can't change my personality, being a private person is just who I am and have been. Posting here, anonymously, is easy for me. And I really think it will help me as I begin this somewhat terrifying journey.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 390
Count me in on the "I won't even start drinking unless I can have enough to get drunk"
My AV likes to say "You drink once a week. That's what NORMAL people do. Geesh, you aren't even close to the amount that is even considered a moderate drinker. Get over your guilt. 8-10 beers once a week is nothing. You're basically sober and a social drinker"
Then I remember how even one night of drinking for me almost always leads to embarrassment, obnoxious behavior, broken promises, or being foolish.
As it has been said many times before: It's not the amount you drink, but what happens when you drink, that defines if you have a problem.
My AV likes to say "You drink once a week. That's what NORMAL people do. Geesh, you aren't even close to the amount that is even considered a moderate drinker. Get over your guilt. 8-10 beers once a week is nothing. You're basically sober and a social drinker"
Then I remember how even one night of drinking for me almost always leads to embarrassment, obnoxious behavior, broken promises, or being foolish.
As it has been said many times before: It's not the amount you drink, but what happens when you drink, that defines if you have a problem.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Aberdeen SD
Posts: 180
I never really wanted to stop drinking. I knew I was an alcoholic but didn't care. Life had hosed me and I was happy to do away with myself in a final drunken haze. I drank 7/24 and only left the house to get booze. I ran out of money before my life ended...which surprised me. I was thinking it would only take a couple of months of hard drinking but I actually ran out of money before I died....then my family intervened and I decided, what the hell, I'll give sobriety a shot. After a few false starts on my own, I went into treatment and developed a plan to live sober one day at a time. Its difficult to come back from addictive ethanol destruction, and you really have to want it. So far its working out and tomorrow I will wake up sober and go to work.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by DefconOne
I never really wanted to stop drinking. I knew I was an alcoholic but didn't care. Life had hosed me and I was happy to do away with myself in a final drunken haze. I drank 7/24 and only left the house to get booze. I ran out of money before my life ended...which surprised me. I was thinking it would only take a couple of months of hard drinking but I actually ran out of money before I died....then my family intervened and I decided, what the hell, I'll give sobriety a shot. After a few false starts on my own, I went into treatment and developed a plan to live sober one day at a time. Its difficult to come back from addictive ethanol destruction, and you really have to want it. So far its working out and tomorrow I will wake up sober and go to work.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome smallbowl - great to meet you. 
I was the same in my 30's - I never realized back then that alcohol had it's claws in me and I would pay a terrible price for not stopping. I continued many more years - trying to control it and make it fun & manageable. I spun out of control and almost lost everything. I'm glad you're taking a hard look at what it does to you. It really helps to talk things over here, with people who understand and care.
I was the same in my 30's - I never realized back then that alcohol had it's claws in me and I would pay a terrible price for not stopping. I continued many more years - trying to control it and make it fun & manageable. I spun out of control and almost lost everything. I'm glad you're taking a hard look at what it does to you. It really helps to talk things over here, with people who understand and care.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 228
Originally Posted by nymets86
If I see a little bit of booze left over in my apartment and all the liquor stores are closed cuz it's late, I don't get a craving since I know I won't be able to get hammered. Definitely not healthy to have that response.
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