The worse....has come true
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Western Europe
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The worse....has come true
So I was initially thinking today that this is the worse I've ever been...
Then on reflection....it's not. I've put my self in some awful, tragic situations.
I wonder am I addicted to drama. I felt invisible as a child in a big big dysfuncional family. The things I do with the booze insure that I'm not invisible. It gives me confirmation.
If I push things too far...right now there is no safety net. I'm ****** if I don't stop.
You could say I'm in the picture perfect definition of denial.....something I did while drunk came back to haunt me. This was five years ago. Anyway, I was fined. I didn't pay the final installment in March. I have the money but I was on these benders. It needs to be paid and hopefully it's not a big deal that it's late...
On a positive I "picked up" a new girl last night. How cool am I? that was after telling a girl yesterday who "wanted another chance to try for real" that she was the weakest link, goodbye (she didn't live up to my expectations) how cool am I? Why am I saying this? My ego thinks I'm cool but my rational mind is aware that I'm causing havoc.
Then on reflection....it's not. I've put my self in some awful, tragic situations.
I wonder am I addicted to drama. I felt invisible as a child in a big big dysfuncional family. The things I do with the booze insure that I'm not invisible. It gives me confirmation.
If I push things too far...right now there is no safety net. I'm ****** if I don't stop.
You could say I'm in the picture perfect definition of denial.....something I did while drunk came back to haunt me. This was five years ago. Anyway, I was fined. I didn't pay the final installment in March. I have the money but I was on these benders. It needs to be paid and hopefully it's not a big deal that it's late...
On a positive I "picked up" a new girl last night. How cool am I? that was after telling a girl yesterday who "wanted another chance to try for real" that she was the weakest link, goodbye (she didn't live up to my expectations) how cool am I? Why am I saying this? My ego thinks I'm cool but my rational mind is aware that I'm causing havoc.
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Perhaps you could speak with a counselor to try and work through some of these issues? Sounds like a lot to have on your plate when you need to be focusing on your sobriety first and foremost.
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Originally Posted by TheCrimsonKing 
If I push things too far...right now there is no safety net. I'm ****** if I don't stop.
.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
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Have you got a sober plan CK ?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
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Posts: 80
Originally Posted by Bmac
I think everyone gets to the point where they realize that they can no longer drink without facing some serious consequences. But realizations don't keep us sober. A plan of action and change does. What's yours?
Court jester
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
Originally Posted by TheCrimsonKing
How?
how do I break this speal?
how do I break this speal?
We have all been there my friend and we will be here for you every step of the way!
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Ok so am I correct in guessing that you didn't pick up a new woman at an aa meeting? Then if it was in a bar, it would logically follow that you were drinking? Not an assumption, it's just that when an alcoholic goes out they either stay sober and are proud, or we don't say anything at all, which more often than not means we drank. In any case, it's typically recommends we make no life changes in early sobriety. Well no life changes besides the obvious stop drinking bit...
Other posters are right. There's no magic pill, there's no perfect method, there's no magical epiphany that suddenly, out of nowhere, we want to stop drinking. But you are right too, it has to be done and quick. The shift needs to be now.
The shift isn't outside man, it's in you. Use that ego for good and be smart enough to understand that no amount of analysis will sober you up. I tried all of that, and all it got me was drunk.
The sooner we acknowledge we have no power, strangely, the quicker we understand that control is pointless. When we understand that, the other stuff starts to come. Like the willingness to do whatever it takes. If you don't drink today, and tomorrow you don't drink "today," this will start to make sense.
Other posters are right. There's no magic pill, there's no perfect method, there's no magical epiphany that suddenly, out of nowhere, we want to stop drinking. But you are right too, it has to be done and quick. The shift needs to be now.
The shift isn't outside man, it's in you. Use that ego for good and be smart enough to understand that no amount of analysis will sober you up. I tried all of that, and all it got me was drunk.
The sooner we acknowledge we have no power, strangely, the quicker we understand that control is pointless. When we understand that, the other stuff starts to come. Like the willingness to do whatever it takes. If you don't drink today, and tomorrow you don't drink "today," this will start to make sense.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Western Europe
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by wehav2day
Ok so am I correct in guessing that you didn't pick up a new woman at an aa meeting? Then if it was in a bar, it would logically follow that you were drinking? Not an assumption, it's just that when an alcoholic goes out they either stay sober and are proud, or we don't say anything at all, which more often than not means we drank. In any case, it's typically recommends we make no life changes in early sobriety. Well no life changes besides the obvious stop drinking bit...
Other posters are right. There's no magic pill, there's no perfect method, there's no magical epiphany that suddenly, out of nowhere, we want to stop drinking. But you are right too, it has to be done and quick. The shift needs to be now.
The shift isn't outside man, it's in you. Use that ego for good and be smart enough to understand that no amount of analysis will sober you up. I tried all of that, and all it got me was drunk.
The sooner we acknowledge we have no power, strangely, the quicker we understand that control is pointless. When we understand that, the other stuff starts to come. Like the willingness to do whatever it takes. If you don't drink today, and tomorrow you don't drink "today," this will start to make sense.
Other posters are right. There's no magic pill, there's no perfect method, there's no magical epiphany that suddenly, out of nowhere, we want to stop drinking. But you are right too, it has to be done and quick. The shift needs to be now.
The shift isn't outside man, it's in you. Use that ego for good and be smart enough to understand that no amount of analysis will sober you up. I tried all of that, and all it got me was drunk.
The sooner we acknowledge we have no power, strangely, the quicker we understand that control is pointless. When we understand that, the other stuff starts to come. Like the willingness to do whatever it takes. If you don't drink today, and tomorrow you don't drink "today," this will start to make sense.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Western Europe
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by TheCrimsonKing
Yes it was in a bar. Initially I went out to eat. I'm a "player" in a sense. I can't seem to switch it off, even though I'd like to take a break. It makes me feel great. I feel like a lion..
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Sounds like it's not really worth it, in that context...
They say no changes in the first year of sobriety. A year feels like forever at first!! But I found that to be good advise. So for single people, it means no new relationships. For me, it meant stay with my partner. I can tell ya, that was tough! I wanted out, I was itching for something different, I was just plain itching for anything since I couldn't have booze. Plus there was all this relationship baggage with me being drunk for so much of it, what a load of crap to wade through! But I'm so glad we did.
The moral of the story, which won't come as a surprise: sometimes the things that make you feel better on the short term (picking up women, drinking) really suck in the long term. And conversely, some things that suck on the short term will make your life SO MUCH BETTER with some patience and humility.
They say no changes in the first year of sobriety. A year feels like forever at first!! But I found that to be good advise. So for single people, it means no new relationships. For me, it meant stay with my partner. I can tell ya, that was tough! I wanted out, I was itching for something different, I was just plain itching for anything since I couldn't have booze. Plus there was all this relationship baggage with me being drunk for so much of it, what a load of crap to wade through! But I'm so glad we did.
The moral of the story, which won't come as a surprise: sometimes the things that make you feel better on the short term (picking up women, drinking) really suck in the long term. And conversely, some things that suck on the short term will make your life SO MUCH BETTER with some patience and humility.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I think it depends on how much you're prepared to change CK.
How badly do you want to be addiction free (I don;t need to know - you need to ask yourself)
If you can't stop going to bars and picking up women, then there's not going to be much change with either of your addictions, yeah?
D
How badly do you want to be addiction free (I don;t need to know - you need to ask yourself)
If you can't stop going to bars and picking up women, then there's not going to be much change with either of your addictions, yeah?
D
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