Does life really get better?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: windsor, on
Posts: 104
Does life really get better?
I am not so sure lately. I am not religious so im scared to go to AA but AVRT hmmm promising myself in 200 years I will drink....not gonna work for me either grrrr. I have no job anymore. I am not sure what to do but I think I need some kind of help.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: The Northland
Posts: 600
What have you got to lose by spending some time with some people who have been through what you are experiencing and who want to give you love and support? You don't have to be religious. And you can let anything that you don't agree with slide on by. Take some action, the first step is the hardest.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,046
Yes Chloe life does get better i know thats hard to believe but in my sobriety i made many changes to make that happen
Some ppl do
AA & AVRT, Addiction counselling, CBT, Group therapy, a college course
These are a few things to consider adding towards a sobriety plan
You should also read stories of recovery where you can read success after success
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/ and check this site out let me know what you think
Heroes in Recovery - Celebrating Recovery and the Heroic Journey
Some ppl do
AA & AVRT, Addiction counselling, CBT, Group therapy, a college course
These are a few things to consider adding towards a sobriety plan
You should also read stories of recovery where you can read success after success
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/ and check this site out let me know what you think
Heroes in Recovery - Celebrating Recovery and the Heroic Journey
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
I'm not religious either, at all.
I go to AA, I try not to cringe when some people talk about god, but this is my problem not theirs, they have found peace and a way to stay sober and get through life, so I'm happy for them.
Someone said to use the group itself as a higher power, strength in numbers right?
GOD can be "group of drunks" works for me
Good luck! Xoxo
I go to AA, I try not to cringe when some people talk about god, but this is my problem not theirs, they have found peace and a way to stay sober and get through life, so I'm happy for them.
Someone said to use the group itself as a higher power, strength in numbers right?
GOD can be "group of drunks" works for me
Good luck! Xoxo
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Boston, Mass
Posts: 1,004
Maybe take a closer look at AVRT. I'm not sure you've got the idea right, there.
There's always going to be a voice in your head giving you excuses not to take immediate action, but tomorrow never comes. It's always going to be today. It's always going to be right now. You have to take action NOW.
There's always going to be a voice in your head giving you excuses not to take immediate action, but tomorrow never comes. It's always going to be today. It's always going to be right now. You have to take action NOW.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
"Does life really get better?"
Maybe not, we will still have red lights driving, mean people, financial concerns, house problems, kid problems, wife/husband problems and on and on. It’s called life.
If we stay sober we get better and learn how to handle things that once baffled us and we resorted to drink for escape.
It takes time and work along with change which is well worth the effort.
Took awhile but today I can say it’s good to be comfortable in my own skin most of the time.
BE WELL
Maybe not, we will still have red lights driving, mean people, financial concerns, house problems, kid problems, wife/husband problems and on and on. It’s called life.
If we stay sober we get better and learn how to handle things that once baffled us and we resorted to drink for escape.
It takes time and work along with change which is well worth the effort.
Took awhile but today I can say it’s good to be comfortable in my own skin most of the time.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 585
Chloe:
Many people have a lot of sober time on here. Their posts are clear indicators its worth it. It gives me hope. I want what they have...sobriety.
I had a short lived taste of sobriety and it was everything I thought it would be and more. Its worth it and you are worth it!!
Many people have a lot of sober time on here. Their posts are clear indicators its worth it. It gives me hope. I want what they have...sobriety.
I had a short lived taste of sobriety and it was everything I thought it would be and more. Its worth it and you are worth it!!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 809
EEEEEEEEEEE! I love posts like this
You don't have to be religious in the SLIGHTEST to attend AA.
Your "higher power" can be anything. Many people use the group itself - as in - a group of alcoholics is a higher power than me individually.
Many people use G.O.D. (god) as "good orderly direction" in the universe type of thing.
My higher power is something like... a higher level of conciousness.... an underlying force in the universe.... nature, love, a combination of a bunch of things - and believe me I am not religious at ALL.
AA is awesome and has helped hundreds of thousands of alky's recover - give it a shot!! Trust me - TONS of members came in with your very concerns and managed to stick around
You don't have to be religious in the SLIGHTEST to attend AA.
Your "higher power" can be anything. Many people use the group itself - as in - a group of alcoholics is a higher power than me individually.
Many people use G.O.D. (god) as "good orderly direction" in the universe type of thing.
My higher power is something like... a higher level of conciousness.... an underlying force in the universe.... nature, love, a combination of a bunch of things - and believe me I am not religious at ALL.
AA is awesome and has helped hundreds of thousands of alky's recover - give it a shot!! Trust me - TONS of members came in with your very concerns and managed to stick around
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: windsor, on
Posts: 104
I just feel like I keep trying and trying and that compulsion is still there. I have lost almost everything including my dignity. I keep hearing people say they find spiritual awakening and I am so jealous cuz I want that but it seem so unatainable since I am not religious. I just feel soooo lost. I really don't want to drink anymore at all. I do remember I 2as content not drinking in my life and I really don't know how I got to this ****** life :'( My father was an alcoholic amd died last September. I have al2ays had a problem with binging and blackouts but it was once every 2 to 3 years when I was married. I have alienated my kids my family.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by chloebaby 
I just feel like I keep trying and trying and that compulsion is still there. I have lost almost everything including my dignity. I keep hearing people say they find spiritual awakening and I am so jealous cuz I want that but it seem so unatainable since I am not religious. I just feel soooo lost. I really don't want to drink anymore at all. I do remember I 2as content not drinking in my life and I really don't know how I got to this ****** life :'( My father was an alcoholic amd died last September. I have al2ays had a problem with binging and blackouts but it was once every 2 to 3 years when I was married. I have alienated my kids my family.
Now I don't think about it, I'm just trying to DO it.
I've been following the advice of people on here and in AA, or in books and websites.
Make a sober plan and just go with it, don't overthink and pick it apart. Someone posted a link the other day which had people who have been sober for a bit.
One girl said to have "smart feet" or " sober feet"or something. Anyway, she said to let you feet take you on the path to sobriety and let your head and heart catch up later.
Maybe just go about the actions of keeping sober, and do the thinking, worrying, analyzing and self hating later
I was bingeing and blacking out too, I'm newly sober, my way was clearly not working because I tried to quit so many times and couldn't. People know what they're talking about, so I'm listening for the most part
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by chloebaby
I just feel like I keep trying and trying and that compulsion is still there. I have lost almost everything including my dignity. I keep hearing people say they find spiritual awakening and I am so jealous cuz I want that but it seem so unatainable since I am not religious. I just feel soooo lost. I really don't want to drink anymore at all. I do remember I 2as content not drinking in my life and I really don't know how I got to this ****** life :'( My father was an alcoholic amd died last September. I have al2ays had a problem with binging and blackouts but it was once every 2 to 3 years when I was married. I have alienated my kids my family.
It's a spiritual program. Yer free to chose whatever conception of a higher power ya want as long as its not you and one that will help you solve your problem.
And that spiritual awakening happened to many that wanted absolutely nothing to do with religion. it was a result of working the steps.
We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built.
*Ex Missus
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 410
Yes, you get better, you begin to heal and then life gets better. And, even if you stumble, you get better at keeping your footing and better at spotting the stumbling blocks. You just have to keep going forwards.
As for which method to follow. I tried AA in my early attempts but I am quite the lone wolf. I prefer the distance of being here on SR and using techniques like AVRT and mindfulness.
As for which method to follow. I tried AA in my early attempts but I am quite the lone wolf. I prefer the distance of being here on SR and using techniques like AVRT and mindfulness.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
Chloe,
I really hope you get through this period and learn to kick the booze. I am like you in that I am a binge (not daily) drinker that got into trouble with blackouts and reckless behavior of which I had little/no memory. I am only two months sober, but I have really enjoyed listening to audio books by Allen Carr and Craig Beck on quitting drinking. They both focus on retraining your thinking on the positives of sober living and neither think you need to attend AA if you don't want to (although they acknowledge that AA has really helped millions of people). If you have time on your hands, you might want to give them a read/listen. What do you have to lose? Good luck.
BTW, I am really starting to enjoy sobriety and the addictive voice in my brain is fading over time.
I really hope you get through this period and learn to kick the booze. I am like you in that I am a binge (not daily) drinker that got into trouble with blackouts and reckless behavior of which I had little/no memory. I am only two months sober, but I have really enjoyed listening to audio books by Allen Carr and Craig Beck on quitting drinking. They both focus on retraining your thinking on the positives of sober living and neither think you need to attend AA if you don't want to (although they acknowledge that AA has really helped millions of people). If you have time on your hands, you might want to give them a read/listen. What do you have to lose? Good luck.
BTW, I am really starting to enjoy sobriety and the addictive voice in my brain is fading over time.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,243
Hello Chloebaby sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment
I'm only 23 days sober myself so I can't give much advice but what Soberwolf said about focusing on one day at a time makes sense to me - small achievable goals rather than big,utopian, hard to achieve kinda goals.
You said that you don't have a job at the moment - is it possible for you to try and get one? I ask this because not only does it help the finances but when you have job commitments it means (for me at least) that I have two thirds of my waking hours when i'm too preoccupied to think about drinking.
I'm only 23 days sober myself so I can't give much advice but what Soberwolf said about focusing on one day at a time makes sense to me - small achievable goals rather than big,utopian, hard to achieve kinda goals.
You said that you don't have a job at the moment - is it possible for you to try and get one? I ask this because not only does it help the finances but when you have job commitments it means (for me at least) that I have two thirds of my waking hours when i'm too preoccupied to think about drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Here's what worked for me. I lost my job due to alcohol. After that I had time to reflect on my life of drinking. Drinking caused a LOT of trouble and problems in my life over the years. Losing the job - a highly coveted position - was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I swore I would never let alcohol affect my life again. The only way was to never drink again. I don't care what program of recovery one chooses, what kind of therapy one chooses if they do, or how many books one reads about the subject or how many self-help or group support meetings they go to.
There is only ONE solution : The desire to not drink being stronger than the desire to drink. The rest is helpful with moving along in life. But if the desire drink to is stronger than the desire to quit...
I swore I would never let alcohol affect my life again. The only way was to never drink again. I don't care what program of recovery one chooses, what kind of therapy one chooses if they do, or how many books one reads about the subject or how many self-help or group support meetings they go to.
There is only ONE solution : The desire to not drink being stronger than the desire to drink. The rest is helpful with moving along in life. But if the desire drink to is stronger than the desire to quit...
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Promising yourself in 200 years you can drink ?
hmmm why not just say never .. why the get out clause ?
For me i needed to be very firm with myself , have no get out clauses , no magic moments where i didn't know what i was or wasn't doing , where i was going .
not drinking is pretty simple you don't drink ,
learning how to deal with life sober for me was the tough and sometimes painful part , it is a growing and worthwhile thing and it's sometimes glorious and wonderful
AA from some of the people i see here seems to offer a glorious way of life , Lots of other people recovered and norms, without AA can have glorious lives too and we can all learn from each other .
One day at a time is how it happens , stay steadfast and on course . over time the small changes all compound and you can find yourself advanced a long way .
Take care , keep on
m
hmmm why not just say never .. why the get out clause ?
For me i needed to be very firm with myself , have no get out clauses , no magic moments where i didn't know what i was or wasn't doing , where i was going .
not drinking is pretty simple you don't drink ,
learning how to deal with life sober for me was the tough and sometimes painful part , it is a growing and worthwhile thing and it's sometimes glorious and wonderful
AA from some of the people i see here seems to offer a glorious way of life , Lots of other people recovered and norms, without AA can have glorious lives too and we can all learn from each other .
One day at a time is how it happens , stay steadfast and on course . over time the small changes all compound and you can find yourself advanced a long way .
Take care , keep on
m
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
I'm newly sober after relapsing and I think life gets better in a roundabout way. It feels harder in that you're dealing with daily problems and issues totally clearheaded. But when you look at the big picture, it's far better.
For me, I have anxiety and depression so when I'm sober for a significant period of time, I suddenly feel less like a hypochondriac, less nervous and I just feel better overall. That doesn't mean that I realise I feel better, I just realise it when I check in and compare my current mental state to how I was a month ago!
So day to day, it's hard initially. But you've got nothing to lose by trying. I'm suddenly blessed with a job using my qualifications and skills and I'm appreciated. No way would I have either applied for this job or successfully interviewed and performed the job well if I were still drinking.
For me, I have anxiety and depression so when I'm sober for a significant period of time, I suddenly feel less like a hypochondriac, less nervous and I just feel better overall. That doesn't mean that I realise I feel better, I just realise it when I check in and compare my current mental state to how I was a month ago!
So day to day, it's hard initially. But you've got nothing to lose by trying. I'm suddenly blessed with a job using my qualifications and skills and I'm appreciated. No way would I have either applied for this job or successfully interviewed and performed the job well if I were still drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 251
I am in the same boat on AA so I went to counciling had counciling not been available however I would have tried the aa because I need some support. And it got better for me. I am gettig to the bottom of my drinking and making a plan to rid myself of it once and for all
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