Restart14

Hello,

I have never done a forum, blog or anything of that nature. I have found this site when I googled multiple things related to quitting alcohol.

So here I am trying to become sober.

But I really don't want to. I have a spouse that is very upset with my drinking habit. I am not saying he shouldn't be. But it doesn't bother me. Selfish no doubt. But I am trying to be as honest as possible.

My question I have to you all. How do you quit something that you don't want to quit, but you know it's probably the best thing for everyone around you?

I appreciate your input. Please be gentle.

Dee74

I wasn't sure I wanted to quit either Restart.

But I kept reading my own story here again and again...and I was reminded of how many careers and relationships I'd thrown away so I could drink more...

I think you might see your story here a few times too...but noone's going to try and force you into anything.

Just do a little reading and post as much as you like.

welcome

D

ThatHombre

One thing I'm realizing is that every time I tried to quit for someone else, I failed. This time it's for me. I'm still romanticizing being drunk but that's slowly getting better.

Ruby2

I didn't want to quit drinking either. I was angry at myself, my husband, the world in general that I had to quit. It didn't seem fair that everyone else could drink but I couldn't. But it was bringing me no joy. There are some days that sure, I'd like to have a drink but it never is just one. I'm better off not drinking and I'm no longer angry at everyone that I just can't drink.

Read the threads. Some you will identify with more than others. Welcome to SR.

ScottFromWI

In my opinion and experience, it is difficult, if not impossible to quit for others. I had to want it for myself first, because my addiction always trumped anything that anyone else could tell me.

Take an inventory of your drinking and look at what the pros and cons really are. For me the cons far outweighed the pros for many years, but it took some serious contemplation and brutal honesty before I finally realized that I was slowly killing myself.

Restart14

Thank You guys so much!

I am angry. Very. I really want to just be normal without an addictive switch in my brain. I never thought my life would look like this. Even though I would still rather drink. It feels like drinking is better than sobriety. I'm sure people are asking "why is this person even here?" I guess I'm just trying to do the right thing.

Thank you all for responding so quickly. I love that!

ANewDayNYC

In my opinion, you can't quit unless you want to. I want to quit right now, and still struggle with the addiction.

happyandfree

Last thing I wanted to do was quit. But I got tired of hangovers and dragging my suffering self around all day. Work was torture sometimes and I'm sure that I wasn't doing my best. So I made myself quit and am so glad I did. You can do it too Restart.

Chillly

I can relate to your feelings exactly...
I don't wanna either... but I need to


P.S. We're all glad you're here; and this isn't a contest over who was the most drunk. and who is the most sober. so you don't need sell yourself or your thoughts short when you're here

Welcome and thanks for sharing

Serenidad

Hi and welcome! I understand where you are coming from! I got sober in 2008 and did it because everyone else wanted me to! My consequences were really piling up too though.

I stayed sober for everyone else (and out of fear of more consequences) for 5.5 years and like you...I was angry! I decided to drink again last fall of 2013 and gave up 5.5 years. I am miserable now! Now I want to quit for ME!!! It got so much worse! Deep depression, anxiety, fear, unhappiness....it's been awful!

I think it's hard to get and stay sober for other people but not impossible. I have known people who have gotten sober for other people initially and discovered that they LOVED it and ended up doing it for themselves.

Check out this site. Read read read. See if you identify. Maybe it will help things become clearer. Hang in there. So much love and support here!!!

resolute50

I don't know how old you are or what experience you have with the physical and mental issues caused by excessive drinking. But, it is very much like slow suicide.

Weatherman77

I can totally relate to what you're feeling - I'm only at 44 days myself. But the longer I'm away from alcohol the more I'm beginning to see how abusive that relationship was. Think about it: if your friend was dating a person who hit her until her health was in serious danger, told her every time she wanted to leave that "you'll never make it without me - life is horrible out there without me," then you'd be screaming for your friend to leave even if they had the occasional good time together. Alcohol's the same - it takes your health and convinces you that you're too weak to face life without it. You're not.

heartcore

I didn't WANT to quit, but I DECIDED to. I was facing severe medical consequences, & even then I didn't WANT to quit. I - like many - struggled between doing what I knew was best for me & others & what I wanted to do.

Like a child gorging themselves on candy, that's what we are.

At some point the immature, demanding & selfish aspect of that just becomes ludicrous.

That's when we can start our journey. From the other side, it is a thousand times more interesting, challenging, & satisfying to be sober...

Only YOU can step away from the sticky mountain of candy...& move on to something more...

Hawks

"Please be gentle"

My speciality .... Dee knows

Well .... how about being gentle with yourself & making a decision to give 30 sober days a try ?

Who knows ..... you just might like being sober ?

As many others here do

least

Welcome to the family. I didn't want to quit drinking either. But I was sick and tired of always being drunk or sick. I wasn't taking good care of myself or my pets and I was tired of my hopeless life.

I finally quit, nearly five years ago, and haven't regretted my decision at all. I just wish I'd done it sooner.

Give yourself a few months sober and see how you feel then.

MelindaFlowers

I didn't want to quit for the longest time so I kept putting it off and putting it off. I had to get to the point where I had done some serious damage to my body to stop. It's not easy but so worth it. I remember something about that three Al's as to why people stop drinking. It's either the law, your liver, or your love. It usually takes one of those for somebody to stuff. It sounds like you've got the love part. Time to stop!

Nonsensical

It isn't, but I know where that feeling comes from.

JanieJ

Hi Restart, welcome

Think everyone else has already said it !

Why not give it a try for a couple of months, nothing lost then.

Hope you stick around, anyway. There is no judgement here, by the way, just support.

Soberwolf

Good luck your in the right place

Restart14

You have all been awesome. I appreciate the support. I have quit several times. I think I have control, and I do, for a week or two. Then all the sudden I'm back drinking every night. I get super bored when I don't drink. That is def an excuse I almost don't know what to do with myself. When I'm sober I do physically feel so much better. But my mind goes nuts.

What are some of the things you guys do to help keep yourself occupied?

Also my husband can drink without any problems. And he will when we go out to eat or hang out with friends. I don't think it's fair of me to ask him not to because I'm the one with a problem. And honestly I don't think he thinks it's fair.

I'm a mess! Never thought I would be this person