Thatdeliveryguy

Since my last post, I was working a program. Staying sober feeling better the world was sincerely getting better. I did everything I should of done, I am not going to bore anyone with all the details, but for once I had treatment. The good news I saved my apartment, I still have my animals, I got all the help I could get, got my rent and power paid, and was working a solid program.

Now the bad news......Then, as always, I did what I always do....... I had
" just one" those words are going to be my demise. Two hospital visits in 48 hours later, a mass panic attack and a hard relapse later. Tada, I've done it again, square one..... Sad part is, I've done so much damage in the last 48 hours, this time this square one is a like 200 squares below my last square one.

I got my internet back again today, so good news I am able to post here again.

I really don't know anymore, professional help, AA, outpatient, lots of friends and family, and I keep failing at quitting. I know I want to quit, I know it can be done, but at times I just don't think I am going to ever do it......

I am kind of just blathering right now, because I am honestly confused. This hurts so bad, physically ( hospital visit) and mentally. Right now, I am a panicky and really shaken, very shaken, this relapse hurts worse then all of my previous ones because I gave it a real go, I got a support group, I did everything right, fixed so much and just hit the wall face first like a ton of bricks.

I don't think I am going to be able to do this! I am hopeless and hapless.......... I am glad to get to post here again, I look forward to talking with you all again and reconnecting. I want to report good news, but I managed to mess that up with a mega binge " just one" those words are laughable......

Thatdeliveryguy

FYI i can't do inpatient I know some of you know that I was going to. They won't let me, too many court dates.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back TDG. What exactly did you do since you left us? You had said it was going to be inpatient rehab...was that what you did?

It's never hopeless, anyone can get sober if they truly want to.

EDIT- I posted this at the same time you were writing your second response, see my following response.

ScottFromWI

Who is "they"? Getting inpatient treatment is a medical decision you make for yourself. You can be forced by law INTO rehab, but I've never heard of anyone being prevented from doing rehab. Especially since the very reason you are going to court is directly related to your drinking in the first place.

JT0626

Dust yourself off & start all over again. You are worth it.

SoberLeigh

Hey, TDG, I have been thinking about you.

Really sorry to hear that you are struggling.

In your last couple of threads you mentioned that you were going to go to rehab with, I think, the Salvation Army. Did that happen?

The good news that you did get sober for awhile; you can do it again.

Thatdeliveryguy

I should clarify, it was suggested that if I did inpatient during my discussing with a local rehab center ( which was an option) I would miss my court dates and could easily mess things up worse. I would have to get into the specifics of the case, but these dates could not be put off ie no case extension.

doggonecarl

I don't know either. If you are doing everything possible to stay sober, what can anyone say. Except keep trying.

SoberLeigh

Sorry, like Scott, I didn't catch your second post.

Is it possible to reschedule those court dates to a date or dates post rehab?

Soberwolf

What Scott said & When the court cases are over do you plan to go rehab Inpatient

Nothing else is working

Good to see you...

Jupiters

not to argue - but I have known a few people here that have not been able to attend any inpatient rehab due to multiple court dates. In fact, some rehabs even state clearly on their requirements that you cannot go until all court date matters are cleared up and done.

Sorry to hear this TDG.

ScottFromWI

So what program were you working in the meantime then? Your plan was 100% inpatient prior to your recent hiatus.

I know for a fact though that there are rehabs that will allow participants to leave for events such as court dates, etc....some people are mandated by law to attend rehab and many have to leave for a short period of time to attend court dates, etc.

Call your district attourney and explain the situation. There is an option for inpatient if you really want it.

Jupiters

I was going to add that there MUST be someone there that can help given the severity of the situation. As Scott just mentioned.

Anna

I would expect that you would be allowed to leave an inpatient for a Court date. Did you try the Salvation Army?

I'm sorry TDG that you are suffering so much.

Mrrryah1

So your internet went down at exactly the same time as you told us all you were going to treatment?

That's kinda wierd.

Also, I am curious to know what program you've been working? You don't want to bore us with the details of your recovery, you just want to tell us about how you relapsed and screwed up?

Just trying to clarify so I can understand.

I'm pretty sure all of us would like to know what about this program you found?

Low

I am just going to throw this out here, and want to preface this that I am NOT a religious person, but I do remember the utter hopelessness and confusion when I had tried everything...someone said to me: "its hard to fall when your on your knees"....so I got down on my knees and prayed and cried like never before...I asked for help, (not sure from who or what) but at some point I did receive a peace, a moment of clarity and hope, knowing that I could do it...kindof rambling here, just wanted to suggest that you pray and open up to the universe that you need help. I am not the only one that this has worked for....again, not trying to push God or religion or anything. Just to help address the hole in the soul we have.

MelindaFlowers

What kinds of animals to you have? Please keep them safe and well fed.

Fly N Buy

LBrain

sorry to hear you still struggling Jeremy

Aellyce

So what happened to the inpatient rehab, Jeremy?