Coming Back to Life
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 23
Coming Back to Life
After a month of sobriety, I can feel my former self rising up from the ashes. A side of myself that has been dormant for the past 4 years, asleep under the dark spell of marijuana and alcohol.
It feels great to have this side return. But, this side is "covered in ashes" so to speak.
It feels that my present self is still but a mere shadow of the former glory that was 18-year-old me.
In a less abstract sense, I feel like my sober and rational self is coming back. When I was drunk and stoned all the time, all I thought about was life in front of me. Nothing in the far future was of any concern to me, so long as I had my alcohol and/or marijuana I was happy. These were the only things that made me happy.
Now, I need to find other ways to find my happiness. You know, like every other person on the planet, including my prior sober self.
But my ability to actually achieve these goals has been blunted by the circumstances of my self-imprisonment as a drunk/stoner. I don't know how to effectively work towards my goals anymore. It feels that I've forgotten how to do the simplest things.
It may not seem like it based upon the style of my writing, but I can barely string together a coherent sentence when I'm with people. I don't know how to follow through with my goals, I always end up doing something wasteful instead.
My motivations is in limbo, I'm ready to make a better life, but I can never work up the motivation to actually do it anymore. This was never a problem before "the dark ages".
Is this a normal thing? How did you overcome it if it is?
It feels great to have this side return. But, this side is "covered in ashes" so to speak.
It feels that my present self is still but a mere shadow of the former glory that was 18-year-old me.
In a less abstract sense, I feel like my sober and rational self is coming back. When I was drunk and stoned all the time, all I thought about was life in front of me. Nothing in the far future was of any concern to me, so long as I had my alcohol and/or marijuana I was happy. These were the only things that made me happy.
Now, I need to find other ways to find my happiness. You know, like every other person on the planet, including my prior sober self.
But my ability to actually achieve these goals has been blunted by the circumstances of my self-imprisonment as a drunk/stoner. I don't know how to effectively work towards my goals anymore. It feels that I've forgotten how to do the simplest things.
It may not seem like it based upon the style of my writing, but I can barely string together a coherent sentence when I'm with people. I don't know how to follow through with my goals, I always end up doing something wasteful instead.
My motivations is in limbo, I'm ready to make a better life, but I can never work up the motivation to actually do it anymore. This was never a problem before "the dark ages".
Is this a normal thing? How did you overcome it if it is?
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Originally Posted by SaviorNomad 
I don't know how to follow through with my goals, I always end up doing something wasteful instead.
You made this comment:
"But my ability to actually achieve these goals has been blunted by the circumstances of my self-imprisonment as a drunk/stoner."
I would say, don't be so sure about that. It could be that you needed the knowledge you leaned in your drinking years in order to achieve your goals.
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