MavisTheFairy13

He's driving me nuts. I'm so stressed and so down. Just want to drink and stop caring for a while

Chiffon

IS he stressing though or are you doing my old trick.... I used to take little things and magnify them, to justify having a drink. What is he doing that is stressing you babe? x

Anna

Mavis, I'm really sorry. Can you get out of the house for awhile and visit a friend or go for a walk? Meditation may help, or journaling.

Fandy

HALT (hungry, angry, lonely or tired)?

It's your husband that is making you annoyed...drinking will make you MORE annoyed and tomorrow you will feel bad.... play this through, you feel better with 6 days solid sobriety, if you don't drink under this duress it is a victory in itself...and 7 days a solid WEEK. this is what you need to boost your mood.

what ELSE can you do right now that is productive? (besides stuffing a sock in his mouth)?

Soberwolf

Mavis dont drink pls your worth a lot more than that try this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

Acceptance Mavis

Stick close with us tell husband to give you some space if hes driving you nuts and post away

M please dont drink remember how happy you have been lil small miracles

its ok vent away get it off your chest

MavisTheFairy13

He moans and argues about EVERYTHING and it's really getting me down I just don't have the energy for it. I've told him a week or so ago that it's getting me down but nothing changes. Can't go anywhere as my son is due home from school soon. I know drinking won't help. Just want to not think about it all. Feel like crying.

The sock in the mouth sounds like a plan Fandy probably better than my initial thought which was to hit him with a very heavy object lol

ardy

Mavis golly what can we say.. have all been there.. and felt that.. wow. prayers.. love .. and hopes that you can pull thro this with out the drink... do you bake.. is there a college near you... can you take a class or art project in clay paint or glass.. you need something to draw your mind out of the muddle and help you go up wards again. hugs ardy...

doggonecarl

Early recovery is a roller coaster. What's bugging you now won't bug you once you achieve some long term sobriety. But drinking will just set you back. You be getting on the roller coaster all over again, facing the same stressors all over again, wanting to drink to escape.

The only real "escape" is recovery.

Chiffon

I have to confess.... I LOVE being single... imagine that though... if you needed urgent medical attention tonight and lived, like I do, in a big city - who would find you and when?
Relationships are never easy - is he 'really' that bad? If so babe, get away from him. Life gets shorter with each birthday, BUT... imagine yourself alone in a different place - you take ill...who will call for help?

Kraszy

Hang in there, Mavis. Day 6 was a beotch for me. I was crazy irritable, every little thing that normally wouldn't be a big deal just rubbed me the wrong way. It's the AV playing it's nasty little trick. Do anything you can to distract yourself. Have a snack or a meal, make a hot cup of coffee or tea, go for a walk, pump some iron, do a crossword puzzle, take a hot shower or bath, anything - it will soon pass and before you know it, Day 7 will be here and the level of pride in yourself that you'll feel will be a high in and of itself. I know you got it in you. Hang tough, chica. We're here for you.

MavisTheFairy13

He's not a bad person at all, and he's a great dad to our son. I just can't stand the moaning and having to explain why we need to put bolt on the cupboard door, or have to take out pet insurance for the new kitties, or have to put a safety gate on the kitchen doorway - everything is such bloody hard work and it's driving me mad. I told him I was feeling dizzy this morning and he hasn't even asked me if I'm feeling better. I've asked him to help me sort out our son's room (it's a tip and I don't know where to start) but he says he's got his own stuff to do in the house and won't help me. I am seriously far more stressed when he is at home than when he's at work. I still want wine.

jagger2012

I've been there many times...I've used those "little" annoyances as a damn good excuse to drink...always and without exception regretted it. And I'm not trying to insinuate his annoyances are little, but if you are anything like me at all, they will pale in comparison as to how you will feel tomorrow morning if you drink on it. Many times silence speaks volumes. Well wishes. . .

Jag Man

EndGameNYC

"I'm going through a stressful time right now, and I need some help. I know this is stressful for you as well. But it's clear to me that we're not helping each other, and that's not good for either one of us. Why don't we call a truce for a couple of days, take it easy on each other, just to settle down?"

Chiffon

If you can't stand him - leave. simples

MavisTheFairy13

It's not that I can't stand him, I love him. Just can't stand the constant moaning! I've just opened a bottle of ginger and lemongrass soft drink. I'm gonna try to talk to him later. Again.

Soberwolf

Massive hugs

chickippo

if you have a drink, he'll still be the same person.

you need to have a plan for when these triggers hit. in my outpatient rehab we did a Relapse Prevention plan. i have it to hand for if things get crazy. it includes a list of consequences if i drink. death is on that list.

honestly - if you can plan for these first days, it will get easier. i'm 6 months sober and, hand on my heart, i don't want to drink. i do this a day at a time though or else i'd go ******* bonkers.

i know how hard these early days are and i am by no means saying that i got hold of sobriety on my first attempt - i didn't. but when i slipped i had to redouble my efforts, to take an active part in staying sober.

i was a rock-bottom, lost-everything, mouthwash-drinking alky. by the time i stopped i had lost my daughter, my job, my husband and my home. i've had tough times in the last 6 months and god knows i thought about a drink. but i am so, SO glad i didn't.

you can do this. i know you can. knuckle down and power through.

sprout50

Mavis, in early sobriety we can be very touchy and things can tick us off easily. For now, walk away from any disagreement. Don't let your guard down and drink. Tomorrow, I want to see a post from you that says 7 days sober! You can do this!

BarleyCorn86

I agree with Ardy. If haven't already, I think you should take up a hobby to get you out of the house.

From a mans perspective, I know after a long day at work I don't want to come home to a "Honey-do" list when all I really want is to relax and unwind.

Drinking will only mask the problem and it will still be a problem in the morning.

MavisTheFairy13

When he's been at work he comes home, has a shower and I cook his dinner. Never ask him to do anything when he's working. I get up with our son at 4am most mornings. He is never given a list of things to do but having a child with special needs there are things that need doing to keep him safe (and the kitties when they come home!) and so they need doing when he's off work. He doesn't mind doing them but I'm sick of having to justify things and explain why they need doing when he should know why! Its mentally draining. And my depression is not good at the moment anyway so maybe I am more sensitive than normal. I just want some peace