Day 91: claws unfurling from PAWS
Day 91: claws unfurling from PAWS
I have made it past the 90 day point but for the last few days I have had no patience, irritable, quick to misread situations and depressed at home in the evening (for no apparent reason at all).
Then, I noticed a few days ago that NuuDawn had posted about PAWS and, after looking into it, I was so relieved. A part of me was thinking.. ohh great, is this the true me emerging as I recover?? But I do feel much better today after a good nights sleep.
In fact, a few weeks ago I was blamed at work for something I didn't do and nearly went manic trying to prove it wasn't me. Then after a few days I was able to let it go and then felt a little silly for not just explaining it wasn't me and then letting it go. That must have been my first PAWS experience.
It's odd because I slowed my alcohol intake before quitting and didn't experience many withdrawal symptoms, so I guess I expected to be in the free and clear. As it turns out, my brain is slowly re-adapting to normality. It's great to know what the problem was.
Thank you Soberrecovery and Nuudawn for making that post. Before that, I was unaware of PAWS. It really does reinforce my own acceptance that I cannot drink again. It's crazy how we drank without much thought beyond the process of drinking = buzz->drunk (repeat).. meanwhile our brains were adapting to the poison and in that process making it more difficult to have a normal life or be loved by healthy people. As for me, a large reason why I drank is because I didn't feel accepted or loved. Such a vicious drug for those with painful histories who use it to escape.
Be safe and strong everyone and thank you once again SoberRecovery for everything!
Then, I noticed a few days ago that NuuDawn had posted about PAWS and, after looking into it, I was so relieved. A part of me was thinking.. ohh great, is this the true me emerging as I recover?? But I do feel much better today after a good nights sleep.
In fact, a few weeks ago I was blamed at work for something I didn't do and nearly went manic trying to prove it wasn't me. Then after a few days I was able to let it go and then felt a little silly for not just explaining it wasn't me and then letting it go. That must have been my first PAWS experience.
It's odd because I slowed my alcohol intake before quitting and didn't experience many withdrawal symptoms, so I guess I expected to be in the free and clear. As it turns out, my brain is slowly re-adapting to normality. It's great to know what the problem was.
Thank you Soberrecovery and Nuudawn for making that post. Before that, I was unaware of PAWS. It really does reinforce my own acceptance that I cannot drink again. It's crazy how we drank without much thought beyond the process of drinking = buzz->drunk (repeat).. meanwhile our brains were adapting to the poison and in that process making it more difficult to have a normal life or be loved by healthy people. As for me, a large reason why I drank is because I didn't feel accepted or loved. Such a vicious drug for those with painful histories who use it to escape.
Be safe and strong everyone and thank you once again SoberRecovery for everything!
Hey SoberComposer, congrats on passing the three month point! Nice job.
I was unfamiliar with the acronym "PAWS" until I read your's and 5KRunner's posts today. I see that it usually lasts for two years. I think I can attribute some of my feelings to that as well. Thanks.
For those who are unaware, here's some info on PAWS.
I was unfamiliar with the acronym "PAWS" until I read your's and 5KRunner's posts today. I see that it usually lasts for two years. I think I can attribute some of my feelings to that as well. Thanks.
For those who are unaware, here's some info on PAWS.
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