Day 91: claws unfurling from PAWS
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: midwest
Posts: 484
Day 91: claws unfurling from PAWS
I have made it past the 90 day point but for the last few days I have had no patience, irritable, quick to misread situations and depressed at home in the evening (for no apparent reason at all).
Then, I noticed a few days ago that NuuDawn had posted about PAWS and, after looking into it, I was so relieved. A part of me was thinking.. ohh great, is this the true me emerging as I recover?? But I do feel much better today after a good nights sleep.
In fact, a few weeks ago I was blamed at work for something I didn't do and nearly went manic trying to prove it wasn't me. Then after a few days I was able to let it go and then felt a little silly for not just explaining it wasn't me and then letting it go. That must have been my first PAWS experience.
It's odd because I slowed my alcohol intake before quitting and didn't experience many withdrawal symptoms, so I guess I expected to be in the free and clear. As it turns out, my brain is slowly re-adapting to normality. It's great to know what the problem was.
Thank you Soberrecovery and Nuudawn for making that post. Before that, I was unaware of PAWS. It really does reinforce my own acceptance that I cannot drink again. It's crazy how we drank without much thought beyond the process of drinking = buzz->drunk (repeat).. meanwhile our brains were adapting to the poison and in that process making it more difficult to have a normal life or be loved by healthy people. As for me, a large reason why I drank is because I didn't feel accepted or loved. Such a vicious drug for those with painful histories who use it to escape.
Be safe and strong everyone and thank you once again SoberRecovery for everything!
Then, I noticed a few days ago that NuuDawn had posted about PAWS and, after looking into it, I was so relieved. A part of me was thinking.. ohh great, is this the true me emerging as I recover?? But I do feel much better today after a good nights sleep.
In fact, a few weeks ago I was blamed at work for something I didn't do and nearly went manic trying to prove it wasn't me. Then after a few days I was able to let it go and then felt a little silly for not just explaining it wasn't me and then letting it go. That must have been my first PAWS experience.
It's odd because I slowed my alcohol intake before quitting and didn't experience many withdrawal symptoms, so I guess I expected to be in the free and clear. As it turns out, my brain is slowly re-adapting to normality. It's great to know what the problem was.
Thank you Soberrecovery and Nuudawn for making that post. Before that, I was unaware of PAWS. It really does reinforce my own acceptance that I cannot drink again. It's crazy how we drank without much thought beyond the process of drinking = buzz->drunk (repeat).. meanwhile our brains were adapting to the poison and in that process making it more difficult to have a normal life or be loved by healthy people. As for me, a large reason why I drank is because I didn't feel accepted or loved. Such a vicious drug for those with painful histories who use it to escape.
Be safe and strong everyone and thank you once again SoberRecovery for everything!
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey SoberComposer, congrats on passing the three month point! Nice job.
I was unfamiliar with the acronym "PAWS" until I read your's and 5KRunner's posts today. I see that it usually lasts for two years. I think I can attribute some of my feelings to that as well. Thanks.
For those who are unaware, here's some info on PAWS.
I was unfamiliar with the acronym "PAWS" until I read your's and 5KRunner's posts today. I see that it usually lasts for two years. I think I can attribute some of my feelings to that as well. Thanks.
For those who are unaware, here's some info on PAWS.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by SoberComposer 
. . .
Thank you Soberrecovery and Nuudawn for making that post. Before that, I was unaware of PAWS.
Thank you Soberrecovery and Nuudawn for making that post. Before that, I was unaware of PAWS.
Congratulations, SoberComposer on 91 days. YOU Rock.
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