Well I have a counseling appointment
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 524
Well I have a counseling appointment
Thursday, I'm excited. I know it's time. It became glaringly obvious when I tried to rescue him from quitting his job (that people are saying he probably never did, he just said it to get my attention)
But it was only a few weeks prior I was in a courtroom crying for a PFA. So I knew it was time to get some help.
Besides I hate men and that's not like me. I'm not cliche.
So anyway, today was my child support conference. I was really feeling the FOG but told myself this is for my girls and for another 15 years so don't focus on what I am feeling now because I won't be feeling it forever.
But part of me still feels guilty. Like I should "help" him. I hate him and I feel sorry for him.
The PA Statue was quite generous and the support I am getting will be extremely helpful but you should have seen the death glares he was giving me and the huffs and puffs and the eye rolls. His energy was full of hate. It helped me not feel bad.
Then later on I lurked on his facebook page (don't judge) and it was a year ago today that he went to rehab and got ahem..."sober" (I knew it was around this time) and he posted 3 or 4 paragraphs of sun shiney sober CRAP. It's CRAP. Unless he is a happy sober person who just hates my guts only.
He's acting like this has been a bittersweet journey but whatever God gives him he knows he can handle without alcohol and how he has "faced many challenges" over the last year and he goes on and on and talks about a new belief in himself.
He's lying! or he wants other people to see him for something he is not.
It just makes me sick because unless I have missed something huge, he is still the same person.
right?
But it was only a few weeks prior I was in a courtroom crying for a PFA. So I knew it was time to get some help.
Besides I hate men and that's not like me. I'm not cliche.
So anyway, today was my child support conference. I was really feeling the FOG but told myself this is for my girls and for another 15 years so don't focus on what I am feeling now because I won't be feeling it forever.
But part of me still feels guilty. Like I should "help" him. I hate him and I feel sorry for him.
The PA Statue was quite generous and the support I am getting will be extremely helpful but you should have seen the death glares he was giving me and the huffs and puffs and the eye rolls. His energy was full of hate. It helped me not feel bad.
Then later on I lurked on his facebook page (don't judge) and it was a year ago today that he went to rehab and got ahem..."sober" (I knew it was around this time) and he posted 3 or 4 paragraphs of sun shiney sober CRAP. It's CRAP. Unless he is a happy sober person who just hates my guts only.
He's acting like this has been a bittersweet journey but whatever God gives him he knows he can handle without alcohol and how he has "faced many challenges" over the last year and he goes on and on and talks about a new belief in himself.
He's lying! or he wants other people to see him for something he is not.
It just makes me sick because unless I have missed something huge, he is still the same person.
right?
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Meggem, congratulations on taking this important step! Pretty soon you will be so focused on your own recovery that you won't have time for questions about his motives or thought processes or Facebook postings or anything that isn't about taking care of you and your girls. There aren't any answers to those questions that will make a bit of difference to the reality that you are living in right now. Rather than trying to figure out what's going on with him or whether he is changed or not, it is okay if you just accept him as he presents himself -- namely, a guy who is huffing and puffing over being held accountable for taking care of his children. 'Nuff said.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Originally Posted by meggem 
Thursday, I'm excited. I know it's time.
Congrats on the support hearing. You and your kids need/deserve it and you are strong to have gotten it all lined up like that. Well done!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Maggem,
All I see is rage against him, which of course is appropriate, as we have every right when we are married to an alcoholic. He hasn't changed and all of us co dependents know that.
Tell me something that you are doing for yourself to keep you mind off of him.
I see that you have a counseling appointment, which is awesome, as we all need that.
How are you keeping busy.
What new things are you trying to do single
Do you have any friends that you can go for a walk with?
What are the bright spots in your life....
We all deserve to be happy and we need to find out what the positives are in our life.
All I see is rage against him, which of course is appropriate, as we have every right when we are married to an alcoholic. He hasn't changed and all of us co dependents know that.
Tell me something that you are doing for yourself to keep you mind off of him.
I see that you have a counseling appointment, which is awesome, as we all need that.
How are you keeping busy.
What new things are you trying to do single
Do you have any friends that you can go for a walk with?
What are the bright spots in your life....
We all deserve to be happy and we need to find out what the positives are in our life.
It was a big relief for me to get into counseling and finally blurt everything out loud.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
He's lying! or he wants other people to see him for something he is not.
I'm really glad you're seeing a counselor. I don't know how I would have kept my nose above water without counseling. Good luck!
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