Well I have a counseling appointment
Thursday, I'm excited. I know it's time. It became glaringly obvious when I tried to rescue him from quitting his job (that people are saying he probably never did, he just said it to get my attention)
But it was only a few weeks prior I was in a courtroom crying for a PFA. So I knew it was time to get some help.
Besides I hate men and that's not like me. I'm not cliche.
So anyway, today was my child support conference. I was really feeling the FOG but told myself this is for my girls and for another 15 years so don't focus on what I am feeling now because I won't be feeling it forever.
But part of me still feels guilty. Like I should "help" him. I hate him and I feel sorry for him.
The PA Statue was quite generous and the support I am getting will be extremely helpful but you should have seen the death glares he was giving me and the huffs and puffs and the eye rolls. His energy was full of hate. It helped me not feel bad.
Then later on I lurked on his facebook page (don't judge) and it was a year ago today that he went to rehab and got ahem..."sober" (I knew it was around this time) and he posted 3 or 4 paragraphs of sun shiney sober CRAP. It's CRAP. Unless he is a happy sober person who just hates my guts only.
He's acting like this has been a bittersweet journey but whatever God gives him he knows he can handle without alcohol and how he has "faced many challenges" over the last year and he goes on and on and talks about a new belief in himself.
He's lying! or he wants other people to see him for something he is not.
It just makes me sick because unless I have missed something huge, he is still the same person.
right?