Planning
Planning
Myself and a few others talk about making a plan quite often. I remember, though, that planning isn't as easy as it sounds in early sobriety. Not for all of us anyway. The brain can be a little foggy, and some people are naturally better at planning than others. Regardless, we all have some capacity for it.
I made a diagram below that I think sums up the plans you can make. You can plan for your triggers or you can plan for your addiction. When diagrammed I think it looks obvious that planning for your addiction looks much simpler. In the long run it is. In the short run, though, it can be easier to have multiple simpler plans for your triggers. If you stay sober you will eventually find that one plan - personalized for you - will take care of your addiction at the root, and you won't need to plan around all of your triggers.
I find planning ahead is empowering. I was a slave to my addiction for 25 years. There was a constant battle running in my head every day, and I rarely won it. I would quit drinking and ardently hope that battle wouldn't come back, but it always did. It is the nature of addiction. Having a plan put me on offense. Instead of reacting in fear when the boogieman showed up I was mentally and emotionally primed for the engagement.
I heartily recommend planning to all newcomers. Start small and work your way up. If you are stuck for ideas - ASK! There is a lot of help available here on SR. Don't be shy about using it!
You can do this.
I made a diagram below that I think sums up the plans you can make. You can plan for your triggers or you can plan for your addiction. When diagrammed I think it looks obvious that planning for your addiction looks much simpler. In the long run it is. In the short run, though, it can be easier to have multiple simpler plans for your triggers. If you stay sober you will eventually find that one plan - personalized for you - will take care of your addiction at the root, and you won't need to plan around all of your triggers.
I find planning ahead is empowering. I was a slave to my addiction for 25 years. There was a constant battle running in my head every day, and I rarely won it. I would quit drinking and ardently hope that battle wouldn't come back, but it always did. It is the nature of addiction. Having a plan put me on offense. Instead of reacting in fear when the boogieman showed up I was mentally and emotionally primed for the engagement.
I heartily recommend planning to all newcomers. Start small and work your way up. If you are stuck for ideas - ASK! There is a lot of help available here on SR. Don't be shy about using it!
You can do this.
My plan as it stands today is to abstain from drinking for 100 days. That would be the longest in my whole life since i first drank at about 14 (30 years ago). That takes me to the date of the work christmas party (which I organise for 300 people). I plan to drink then.
in January, i have 6 weeks before a big holiday to Australia. again I plan to abstain for 6 weeks before australia.
Am I being nieve?
It's very easy to read here everybodies first hand experience & warnings. But I haven't myself actually stepped out of drinking for any meaningful time & really evaluated it, tested it, pushed it, abstained from it, learned the lessons from it. come to the conclusions of what it is or what it insn't for me.
I know it's been a problem, as in i can drink 11 straight months every day despite me promising myself i'll have a day off. I get drawn into the pub by seemingly invisible forces.
But I do feel differently this time & this is due to this site in helping me evaluatie alcohol & sharing my issues with it. thinking of alcohol in a very different way.
Is this just how newbies feel after 10 days? I still think i can can keep this monster in a box & let him out when i decide.
Perhaps I'm a nieve Newbie. But i need to learn the lessons myself. you were all newbies once.
in January, i have 6 weeks before a big holiday to Australia. again I plan to abstain for 6 weeks before australia.
Am I being nieve?
It's very easy to read here everybodies first hand experience & warnings. But I haven't myself actually stepped out of drinking for any meaningful time & really evaluated it, tested it, pushed it, abstained from it, learned the lessons from it. come to the conclusions of what it is or what it insn't for me.
I know it's been a problem, as in i can drink 11 straight months every day despite me promising myself i'll have a day off. I get drawn into the pub by seemingly invisible forces.
But I do feel differently this time & this is due to this site in helping me evaluatie alcohol & sharing my issues with it. thinking of alcohol in a very different way.
Is this just how newbies feel after 10 days? I still think i can can keep this monster in a box & let him out when i decide.
Perhaps I'm a nieve Newbie. But i need to learn the lessons myself. you were all newbies once.
I am not sure if planning for something to happen that may not happen would have been right for me.
It would have felt like I was borrowing trouble were their was none. "Never trouble trouble unless trouble troubles you".
I can accumulate tools and support along the way and use them if needed but I didn't have to glare at them everyday as though my addiction is lying in wait to attack.
It can attack out of the blue but then I grab my tools and support. I didn't plan for the attack to happen.
I do understand triggers though and I used HALT most of the time. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired were the four reasons that, for me, were used to identify what I wad feeling. Once I identified them, then I could talk them out and see them for what they really were.
It would have felt like I was borrowing trouble were their was none. "Never trouble trouble unless trouble troubles you".
I can accumulate tools and support along the way and use them if needed but I didn't have to glare at them everyday as though my addiction is lying in wait to attack.
It can attack out of the blue but then I grab my tools and support. I didn't plan for the attack to happen.
I do understand triggers though and I used HALT most of the time. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired were the four reasons that, for me, were used to identify what I wad feeling. Once I identified them, then I could talk them out and see them for what they really were.
It sounds like your addictive voice has this elaborate plan for when you can drink again. I used to do that too. Quit, think I could control it and end up back where I started drinking every single day again.
Sometimes we do have to learn the hard lesson for ourselves but if I could, i would spare anyone from having it go that far. Keep evaluating and keep reading and posting here.
Sometimes we do have to learn the hard lesson for ourselves but if I could, i would spare anyone from having it go that far. Keep evaluating and keep reading and posting here.
Yeap Non is talking a lot of sense!!
My mind would sell everything on the right as an excuse/justification to drink, "oh well, X happened today, I'll be Sober tomorrow" or "I can't deal with X without alcohol"!!
The reality is the list on the right WILL happen in some form, sobriety doesn't create a perfect life, it simply cuts out alcohol from the rollercoaster of life, which will still have it's ups and downs!!
For me having support was and still is crucial to the whole equation!!
My mind would sell everything on the right as an excuse/justification to drink, "oh well, X happened today, I'll be Sober tomorrow" or "I can't deal with X without alcohol"!!
The reality is the list on the right WILL happen in some form, sobriety doesn't create a perfect life, it simply cuts out alcohol from the rollercoaster of life, which will still have it's ups and downs!!
For me having support was and still is crucial to the whole equation!!
basically be aware in early sobriety esp that you must consider everything is it a risk and in mid to long term sobriety too !!!
you can write it down or just keep it in the head as long as you factor it in
i know im alcoholic i am not scared by not drinking something truly happened for me when i got sober
nothing in the world can make me drink but i still factor it in and on my first real attempt in sobriety im 4 days away from 14 mnths sober so its a very useful tool in my sobriety armory
sobriety batbelt tools are important
you can write it down or just keep it in the head as long as you factor it in
i know im alcoholic i am not scared by not drinking something truly happened for me when i got sober
nothing in the world can make me drink but i still factor it in and on my first real attempt in sobriety im 4 days away from 14 mnths sober so its a very useful tool in my sobriety armory
sobriety batbelt tools are important
Thank you Non for that great post! It seemed so hard to define a plan at first, but the longer I worked at staying sober and the more I read and listened and learned, the easier it became to realize that I did indeed have one. At first it was one day at a time, that helped for a long time and still does some days. That's what kept me sober ... but I had to have a plan if I really wanted to live happily sober. The chart you posted is a great way for people to start making their own plan, so again, thanks! Oh and you forgot to mention .... BACON!
Mmmmmmm....bacon!
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Good point Non. The past 90 days have been "I don't drink" for me and all is well in that dept. but now some other things need my attention like lotsa debt, finding work, hitting the treadmill+ at least once a day and of course the family. As a stay-at-home Dad to a 3.75 yr old I am fortunate but I would like her to have more social interaction via preschool and that will require me to work--no plan and daunting as I am a felon and won't see a DL till 2024 and other than being a decent carpenter, have no skills. That is all I'm going to tackle in the next year. Funny, I was just commenting to MIL on phone on how this site is saturated with "Do you have a plan?" and how helpful I've found it.
Seems like the plan at the left to me. Was that your plan from day 1 or did you evolve to that after a period of sobriety? There are some among us who went straight to that overall plan, but I think most of us had to evolve to that. I know I did. I'm pretty sure I'm still evolving.
Mmmmmmm....bacon!
Mmmmmmm....bacon!
My plan as it stands today is to abstain from drinking for 100 days. That would be the longest in my whole life since i first drank at about 14 (30 years ago). That takes me to the date of the work christmas party (which I organise for 300 people). I plan to drink then.
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