Ready2beSober

I originally "quit" drinking in late June. First I could only make it to 3 or 4 days. Then I'd make it to Thursday, or even Friday, but for this entire month I've at least drank 1 or 2 days. Friday, or Saturday. But it wasn't just a couple drinks, I'd totally binge and feel like **** about myself until Monday when the hangover subsided. I'd feel motivated again and start over. Last weekend was different, I binge drank and felt so awful about it (didnt post about it because I was so ashamed) I guess something just clicked. I'm pissed at the alcohol. I hate it with a passion.. I'm completely tired of this merry go round. I am not allowing this to happen again. But still, looking back at my patterns and the fact that I keep failing is jhst giving me so much anxiety. Scared of myself I guess. Because I start my week feeling strong and like a new woman, and sometime during the weekend I let my anxiety get the best of me, and there I am. Drunk again and hating myself. I am NOT doing that again. I am pushing myself through this weekend. I dont care what happens, I am not drinking again. Enjoy your weekend everyone, lets do this!!!

Meraviglioso

Come on, let's do this sober weekend! I'm on day 3, which is always a really tough day for me. I start to feel just good enough that I start to think about drinking again. I am NOT going to do it this time, no matter the day of the week or the occasion! You are so right, the merry go round is beyond old, it is time to get off! Stay strong!

jryan19982

That is the way I am feeling today. But then once I think about drinking anxiety sets in. Deep breathes.

Ready2beSober

Thank you! I was just reading your post and you sound exactly like me! "Oh I've been so good, a glass or 2 wont hurt etc" its bs! You know we cant have 1 or 2! I used to do everything with a bottle of wine, cook dinner, go to the beach, I'd even have a glass of wine next to me while I was giving my kids baths and getting them ready for bed. I dont miss that! Its so ugly. I love being sober and spending REAL time with them. Keep posting this weekend, lets push eachother through this weekend. We can do it!! And our babies will thank us later!

jryan19982

Yeah last night I enjoyed reading books to my kids. Usually I thought it was a task because I had more drinking to do. It was fun!

Meraviglioso

We are totally alike!!! Exactly the same here! I used to have a glass of wine before the kids bath time because they were suck nightmares in the bath! Then I drank all the way through to try and stay calm. You know what? Yesterday I had the first sober bathtime in a looooooonnnnggggg time. The kids got water everywhere, one cried because of the soap... you know the drill..... but it was so.much.easier sober. I went to the beach today. Used to love that ice cold white wine while sitting in the sun watching the kids play. Not today. I took both kids into the sea and had an absolute blast playing in the waves for hours not worrying about getting back out to get to my drink. The cooking dinner, yep, with you there. I felt like such a little magazine chef sipping on my cabernet while whipping up something deluxe for my guests. LOVED IT! Last night I had a fabulous bbq, and while I admit that one was tough for me, I didn't cave and went to bed sober last night and woke up feeling great this morning. It is not worth it anymore. It won't be easy, but we can do this!!!

Meraviglioso

YES! This too. I would often skip pages in the books and my kids would be like "mommy, you missed a page" and I would just keep going like I didn't hear them. Just wanted to get through as fast as possible so I could really tear into the wine now that they were asleep :o Not anymore. We will be super parents! (or, just decent ones, not sure I'll ever be super at anything! )

jryan19982

I will start with just being better! Then work on super.

Meraviglioso

Haa! Yes, better is a good start!

Ready2beSober

Lol I totally did that too!! I felt like it took forever. All 3 of my kids would be waiting patiently with their own book, 3 books?! It was really interfering with my drinking time! Lol. Now its actually fun.. and I'm not slurring through dr suess.

Meraviglioso

3 books?!?! You were already super mom! We rotate who picks and just have 1. I will never tell that there are other moms out there who read 1 for each

jryan19982

Yeah 3 books is like 15 minutes. How could we not have time for that? Its depressing to think of, but makes me happy that isnt happening anymore.

27cougar

Can I join you guys? Day 3 for me, husband is out of town this weekend which would usually be a reason to really enjoy my alcohol - but instead I really want to be clear-headed and make the most of my time with my kiddos and myself!

doggonecarl

That's right. You can do this. Nip the negative thoughts about failure in the bud, before they get a hold of you. Time to start a new self-fulfilling prophecy...this one about sobriety, not relapsing.

Meraviglioso

Yes, day 3 for me too. This is a really tough day for me, where I usually cave. But I am determined not to do it. I want to be clear-headed too. No hangovers for us this weekend. Just good, quality time with our kids and lots and lots of soda water!

Ready2beSober

Of course you can join us!!! Make it fun. Think of some fun activities. How old are your kids?

Ready2beSober

Haha!! Dont ever tell! I hate when my kids come home telling me what "other moms" do. Most recently, my daughter said so and so's tooth fairy gave her 20 dollars! I said oh yeah, thats because they live in a different neighborhood. our tooth fairy gives 5bucks, MAX! LOL!

27cougar

I have kids that are 20, 18, 10 and 8. The 20 year old lives on her own but spends a lot of the weekend at my house. My older girls have a half-sister who is the same age as my 8 year old who will also be visiting us some of this weekend. One of the main reasons that I want to keep this up is the comments my kids make, about "oh yea mom better get your beer", or "really mom do you need that beer?" once last week I was playing catch with them and the ball knocked over my beer that was sitting there and it spilled onto my daughters favorite stuffed doggie, I had to wash it to get the beer smell out. Not cool

Meraviglioso

ugh, when you think about the stuff with your kids it really hurts, doesn't it? I have 2 boys ages 4 and 5.5. Once when I was kissing the older one goodnight he said "eww, you stink like beer" (wasn't beer, was wine, but same difference. I cried and cried that night.

Ready2beSober

Wow you're a busy lady!! Sounds like a great weekend, 8 year olds are fun.. my oldest daughter is 9. Sounds like your older ones are annoyed by the drinking, tottally understandable. When I am with my mom, even now as an adult, we put my kids to bed and do our nails/toes, give eachother facials and watch movies. I'm 30 and those are still one of my top 10 favorite kind of nights! I bet no matter what you do they'll be so glad to spend a weekend with you sober and imagine how proud they will be when they see you're trying!
Uhg, about the stuffed dog- I cant count how many times I've spillef alcohol on my kids things, or even worse, on my kids! At my sons 4th bday party I bent over to hug him after he blew out his candles and spilled red wine all over his head and his new shirt . talk about feeling like a s***y drunk mom all my friends and family thought it was hilarious, my son ran in his room and cried cause I ruined his shirt.