TheDrunk

I wonder if any good people here can help me please. I have always been a drunk (40 years of drinking). Now I'm wondering if I'm an alcoholic. Here is my situation:

When I start drinking I can't easily stop. I can only stop if I'm scared of something, e.g., drink driving.

I can never remember what I've done after drinking.

I regularly **** myself in my sleep after I have been drinking.

I have woken up in hospital after drinking.

I have woken up in the drunk tank after drinking.

I have a history of broken relationships mainly due to the five points above.

However, I can go for weeks at a time without getting drunk or even having a drink. Should I consider myself an alcoholic or just a drunk?

By the way, I wish I could stop being drunk as I am sick of all the above things. I hate them.

Thanks for your help.

DoubleDragons

You don't need labels, you need sobriety and you have come to the right place to help with that. Welcome to SR!

Dee74

Hi and welcome TheDrunk

Indulge me and read your post again.

It doesn't matter if you're an alcoholic or a drunk - you have a problem there you need to fix.

This is a great place to find support to help you do that

D

honeypig

And you CAN stop. You've come to the right place. There are so many here w/so much experience, strength and hope to share.

Read as much as you can here. I'm certain you'll see yourself in many of the stories. You're not alone. And there is help.

Others who can help more directly will be along shortly, I'm sure.

Wishing you strength and clarity.

Gibbons2

I think your answer lies here: By the way, I wish I could stop being drunk as I am sick of all the above things. I hate them.

Regardless of the label, if you are "sick of all the above things," then you have come to the right place. If you are tired of all the repercussions from drinking, then it is time to set down the bottle and sober up.

Treerat66

Hi TheDrunk, welcome to SR

FreeOwl

what you wrote sounds to me like it could be summed up with the phrase;

"Alcohol in my life yields misery.... alcohol is not for me....."

If you agree - you're in the right place.

You don't have to keep on that train.

Welcome.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR.

It doesn't matter what you call the problem. What are you planning to do about the problem? THAT's important.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

TheDrunk

Thanks for those thoughtful replies. My dilemma has been that I don't want to go to the trouble of joining a recovery program or AA or something if I'm not really an alcoholic. But I think I could live a better life without hangovers and blackouts and the fear of not remembering what I've done when I'm drunk. So yeah, I really want to stop drinking because when I drink, all those rotten things happen.

What makes me think I'm not an alcoholic is that I don't need to drink every day.

I see what you mean though - drunk or alcoholic are just words. My life needs fixing.

GracieLou

Sounds like you are sick and tired or being sick and tired.

It took me 26 years of drinking to come to that same place. I finally admitted I was an alcoholic and it was the first drink that got me drunk.

Only can decide if you are an alcoholic and want help.

Dee74

Lots of people here didn't need to drink every day, they didn't need to wake up to a drink, and they didn't live under bridges drinking from a bottle in a plastic bag - but SR's helped them.

I hope you stick around

D

LBrain

Do you really want an answer to that? Regardless of what you wish to call yourself, or have 'others' label you, if you don't like it stop it.

I went to the doctor and told him every time I moved my arm this way it hurt so much I couldn't stand the pain. The doctor told me to stop moving my arm like that.

Welcome to the "WE who should never ever drink again" club. It's the only solution.
You will get plenty of advice and support here. First you must acknowledge and accept that your problem is truly a problem. Then you have to commit to do something about it. The first thing is to stop drinking - that means always and forever.

unchartedxo

I tried not getting wrapped up in the labels too. I don't drink a lot. Very infrequently actually. Certainly not daily or even weekly.

But what I questioned to myself was: when I DO drink, who is in control? Me.... Or the alcohol?

My answer was alcohol. When I decided to drink, it was inconsistent if I would have 2 and stop.... Or if I would drink until I passed out. THAT is not ok.

Does that make me an alcoholic? Does that make me a drunk? I don't know. All I know is it makes me a person who is not in control and that's a problem. Only way I KNOW I am in control of alcohol is when I decide not to drink alcohol

TheDrunk

Thanks LBrain. I wish I had your ability to sum things up like that. You're right - I need to summon up the guts to admit my only way forward is to stop drinking altogether. It brings no joy to my life.

TheDrunk

Thanks uncharterdxo. I know I'm not in control of anything at all when I'm drinking. I don't appear to have a STOP button other than passing out. You people have given me much to think about. Thank you.

FeelingGreat

Hi D, welcome to SR. The thing about alcoholics is that even if they hate what they're doing, they can't stop permanently. So AA or another program would not be a waste of time for you. If you stay around here you'll see that 'alcoholics' come in many shapes and sizes, from constant drinkers to bingers. So are living perfectly normal lives and others only a step away from death.
I personally didn't use a program, but I've heard many good things about AA and other methods. For me SR was enough. The main thing is to accept that you can never drink again. I hope that you get that realisation.

biminiblue

As far as AA...it is just a group of men and women who have chosen to stop drinking. It is good support. There are no dues or fees for membership. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

There are no rules. I like having people around me in meetings - I was so isolated when I was drinking. I did most of my drinking alone at home because like you said, I didn't want to drink and drive. The "friends" I had were really just people to drink with. Now there are sober, happy people in my life for the first time in many years. Even though I am not always 100% on board with what is said in meetings, I still keep going back. There is help and understanding in those meetings. They get me, and allow me to be exactly who I am. In addition, there are many social events in AA. Bowling, dances, BBQs, Retreats, conferences in cool places, camping weekends. It's a whole lot more than an hour meeting a couple times a week.

huntingtontx

Welcome Thedrunk. You have come to the right place. I used to stop for a week or two to go play with grandbabies, and I was not what I thought of as an alcoholic, but it was not who I wanted to be. I know now that there are all kinds of alcoholics. What we all have in common is we can't drink like normal people. Not drinking at all is great. I always remember what I said the night before, I don't drunk call. I am not ashamed in the morning. I am glad you have joined us in this journey. You are in my prayers.

TheDrunk

Thanks for that advice FeelingGreat. I love your beautiful city of Perth. I had to leave town there once because of the havoc my drunken behaviour had created. It was "leave town or be thrown out of town". And yet I thought I was normal ....

least

Welcome! You've come to a great place for support if you really want to stop drinking. It doesn't matter what you call yourself, what matters is what you do about it. Quitting drinking is the best thing I've ever done for myself.