My Journey Has Begun
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Liverpool uk
Posts: 15
My Journey Has Begun
I worked in catering. Really long hours. I hated it. It made me drank.
I could on day have 3 pints a day or just 1. I would very rarely not drink at all but it did happen. But on the other hand I could be drinking 5 pints a day and the occasional binge.
I had bad news last thursday and had a binge over it. The next day I wouldn't leave bed over being depressed and was still drunk. I topped myself up with two swigs of bacardi and passed out till Saturday. When slept all day again. I was in work again the Sunday and Sunday 7 am had about 4 glasses of cider in bed and passed out.
I woke up to having missed my shift and my mum, step dad and flatmate waking me up. I felt drunk and like I had gone mad because the news was bad and had made me insanely depressed. I think the job, the news and the drinking has exhausted me.
So anyway my mum took all the alcohol away on Sunday and I didn't drink again.
Monday was the worst day of my life. I was shaking, confused, depressed, exhausted, kidneys hurt, thought I'd gone mad, was convinced of death.
Its my third night without alcohol and I've decided to never drink again. I'm a really anxious person without alcohol and need medication but to think I was dying is too much for me. Tonight I still have that slight confusion but it's clearing up. I managed a bike ride today and went shops. I can sleep which is good, my kidneys don't hurt but I am still anxious. I just wanna know I'll be ok. I do feel much better since that first comedown and I know it can't get worse than that Sunday/Monday.
I could on day have 3 pints a day or just 1. I would very rarely not drink at all but it did happen. But on the other hand I could be drinking 5 pints a day and the occasional binge.
I had bad news last thursday and had a binge over it. The next day I wouldn't leave bed over being depressed and was still drunk. I topped myself up with two swigs of bacardi and passed out till Saturday. When slept all day again. I was in work again the Sunday and Sunday 7 am had about 4 glasses of cider in bed and passed out.
I woke up to having missed my shift and my mum, step dad and flatmate waking me up. I felt drunk and like I had gone mad because the news was bad and had made me insanely depressed. I think the job, the news and the drinking has exhausted me.
So anyway my mum took all the alcohol away on Sunday and I didn't drink again.
Monday was the worst day of my life. I was shaking, confused, depressed, exhausted, kidneys hurt, thought I'd gone mad, was convinced of death.
Its my third night without alcohol and I've decided to never drink again. I'm a really anxious person without alcohol and need medication but to think I was dying is too much for me. Tonight I still have that slight confusion but it's clearing up. I managed a bike ride today and went shops. I can sleep which is good, my kidneys don't hurt but I am still anxious. I just wanna know I'll be ok. I do feel much better since that first comedown and I know it can't get worse than that Sunday/Monday.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Liverpool uk
Posts: 15
yeah my problem is i think "my friends are going out i can have 4 pints" then another night i'll think "i can have this one binge" then slowly but surely i get into that habit. It's weird because when I stop drinking I can have few pints to begin with and that's annoying because it's easier to convince myself it'll be fine to drink again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by crizR 
I worked in catering. Really long hours. I hated it. It made me drank.
I could on day have 3 pints a day or just 1. I would very rarely not drink at all but it did happen. But on the other hand I could be drinking 5 pints a day and the occasional binge.
I had bad news last thursday and had a binge over it. The next day I wouldn't leave bed over being depressed and was still drunk. I topped myself up with two swigs of bacardi and passed out till Saturday. When slept all day again. I was in work again the Sunday and Sunday 7 am had about 4 glasses of cider in bed and passed out.
I woke up to having missed my shift and my mum, step dad and flatmate waking me up. I felt drunk and like I had gone mad because the news was bad and had made me insanely depressed. I think the job, the news and the drinking has exhausted me.
So anyway my mum took all the alcohol away on Sunday and I didn't drink again.
Monday was the worst day of my life. I was shaking, confused, depressed, exhausted, kidneys hurt, thought I'd gone mad, was convinced of death.
Its my third night without alcohol and I've decided to never drink again. I'm a really anxious person without alcohol and need medication but to think I was dying is too much for me. Tonight I still have that slight confusion but it's clearing up. I managed a bike ride today and went shops. I can sleep which is good, my kidneys don't hurt but I am still anxious. I just wanna know I'll be ok. I do feel much better since that first comedown and I know it can't get worse than that Sunday/Monday.
I could on day have 3 pints a day or just 1. I would very rarely not drink at all but it did happen. But on the other hand I could be drinking 5 pints a day and the occasional binge.
I had bad news last thursday and had a binge over it. The next day I wouldn't leave bed over being depressed and was still drunk. I topped myself up with two swigs of bacardi and passed out till Saturday. When slept all day again. I was in work again the Sunday and Sunday 7 am had about 4 glasses of cider in bed and passed out.
I woke up to having missed my shift and my mum, step dad and flatmate waking me up. I felt drunk and like I had gone mad because the news was bad and had made me insanely depressed. I think the job, the news and the drinking has exhausted me.
So anyway my mum took all the alcohol away on Sunday and I didn't drink again.
Monday was the worst day of my life. I was shaking, confused, depressed, exhausted, kidneys hurt, thought I'd gone mad, was convinced of death.
Its my third night without alcohol and I've decided to never drink again. I'm a really anxious person without alcohol and need medication but to think I was dying is too much for me. Tonight I still have that slight confusion but it's clearing up. I managed a bike ride today and went shops. I can sleep which is good, my kidneys don't hurt but I am still anxious. I just wanna know I'll be ok. I do feel much better since that first comedown and I know it can't get worse than that Sunday/Monday.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Liverpool uk
Posts: 15
I did seek medical attention. He said to stop drinking and that my job exhausted me and to take time off sick. I feel better again today just woke up. Not much anxiety and everything feeling much more normal. This is day 4 now
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Criz. Welcome to SR!
Great decision to stop drinking. Life, even with all its ups and downs, is truly better when sober.
Best wishes to you. Keep posting)
Great decision to stop drinking. Life, even with all its ups and downs, is truly better when sober.
Best wishes to you. Keep posting)
my sleeping patterns are really good sleeping all way through.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Liverpool uk
Posts: 15
i've just tried cycling and I couldn't stop. I did about 6 miles which is rubbish I know but for someone who has hardly left bed in 5 days it aint bad. My head was still in the clouds a bit but I keep getting normal thoughts back every now and then like "it'd be nice to see a friend later". Will these normally thoughts eventually take over my brain again because they keep coming and going but not quite there?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Its hard work and kind of like a full time effort to not give in and think 'itll be ok', coz afterwards youll feel like **** again, and all that worry will be back, so stay strong and remember why you don't want that crap in your life. Good luck
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