Getting closer to sobriety.
Getting closer to sobriety.
My last month:
Just some ramblings.
I realized that I sometime need to get fired up and say to myself, "I'm not f-ing drinking tonight!". But then I eventually drank.
I realized that when I give up the futility of trying to control my drinking I feel more free. I feel relief. I can either get wasted or just stay sober, but no more of this trying to control it. But then I drank again after a few days.
I realized I cannot drink without trying to control it. I can't drink the way I want, with complete abandon, because the consequences would be devastating.
So no I realize that I don't have a stopping problem, I have a not starting problem. I think need to avoid triggers like the plague. That's where I'm at.
Can anyone relate?
Just some ramblings.
I realized that I sometime need to get fired up and say to myself, "I'm not f-ing drinking tonight!". But then I eventually drank.
I realized that when I give up the futility of trying to control my drinking I feel more free. I feel relief. I can either get wasted or just stay sober, but no more of this trying to control it. But then I drank again after a few days.
I realized I cannot drink without trying to control it. I can't drink the way I want, with complete abandon, because the consequences would be devastating.
So no I realize that I don't have a stopping problem, I have a not starting problem. I think need to avoid triggers like the plague. That's where I'm at.
Can anyone relate?
Hi Michael
I think I get what you're saying - it took me many years to accept that it's the first drink that starts the merry go round.
As for triggers, I used alcohol so much that it got to the point where everything was a trigger.
You just have to learn to be ok with feeling uncomfortable for a while I think.
You're not alone tho - and there are some really useful tops here, especially urge surfing
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
I think I get what you're saying - it took me many years to accept that it's the first drink that starts the merry go round.
As for triggers, I used alcohol so much that it got to the point where everything was a trigger.
You just have to learn to be ok with feeling uncomfortable for a while I think.
You're not alone tho - and there are some really useful tops here, especially urge surfing
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi Michael,
I relate, too. For me definitely not everything is triggering, I think because I drank in very specific situations (limited my life to those spec situations during my worst times). But this is also why it's proven difficult for me to try to avoid triggers: I was a solo drinker in my home during the times when my addiction had really become a problem. Can avoid some of the (really not too healthy and balanced) solo activities that I used to do alone, cannot avoid being at home obviously and over the years the "home" environment has become triggering... So I try to get out more these days or if I am home, try to fill it with productive activities that I enjoy or are necessary to do. Really not always easy vs the cravings... What I've found most helpful from the AVRT-like bunch of methods is what Dee mentioned, "urge surfing". Another site about it:
Urge Surfing – Relapse Prevention – Mindfulness
And I try to meditate every day at home, that also helps me although not easy.
I relate, too. For me definitely not everything is triggering, I think because I drank in very specific situations (limited my life to those spec situations during my worst times). But this is also why it's proven difficult for me to try to avoid triggers: I was a solo drinker in my home during the times when my addiction had really become a problem. Can avoid some of the (really not too healthy and balanced) solo activities that I used to do alone, cannot avoid being at home obviously and over the years the "home" environment has become triggering... So I try to get out more these days or if I am home, try to fill it with productive activities that I enjoy or are necessary to do. Really not always easy vs the cravings... What I've found most helpful from the AVRT-like bunch of methods is what Dee mentioned, "urge surfing". Another site about it:
Urge Surfing – Relapse Prevention – Mindfulness
And I try to meditate every day at home, that also helps me although not easy.
I think what tomsteve is trying to say here is that for SOME OF US, there isn't a way to feel comfortable when quitting alcohol. I agree with that. You just have to DO IT. Until then, you're just playing a game where the house always wins.
Welcome to the forum and good luck figuring this out! We're all pulling for you and hopefully you'll find some help here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 246
I really agree with what is being said about triggers. Avoiding them, especially at first, is a fine idea, but in the end IMO, the true recovery is when the triggers don't matter. They will always be there and living in fear of them rather than facing them head on and saying you won't make me drink is not what i consider winning the battle (for me). I have a friend who was a raging alcoholic and has been in recovery for a long time. She came to see me play the other night, had people at her table drinking etc. She was not fighting the urge one bit, she was doing an activity she wanted to do and the presence of alcohol and what others were doing did not matter to her one bit. That is what i aspire to. Again, she has been sober for a loong while so please understand that i am sharing what I see as my path and goal and not giving advice about anyone else.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)