2bhappier

I drank again last night. I cannot do it again today. I woke up so mad at myself, hung over, and wanting to cut myself. I didn't cut myself. I came here instead. I absolutely must NOT drink today so I am probably going to post a lot today. For my sanity I have to make it through the day without alcohol and get myself back on track.

doggonecarl

Inability to halt the skid was exactly what I feared when I read your post yesterday.

Still on vactation? Locate a meeting. Now. Then go. Find something to ground you back to the necessity of your recovery and the sober path.

least

Carl has some good advice. I'd do as he recommends. Find a meeting and go to it. Please don't drink anymore.

SeaScape

Empower yourself to make the right decision. You won't regret having not drank when you wake up tomorrow. My husband doesn't think I am an alcoholic - I've seen you mention this before - I can relate and in my situation it makes it harder for me to stick to my sobriety. I NEVER go to him for help if I am considering a drink. He isn't unsupportive but he can't understand. Find some support today - here is a great place!

Raider

I wish you find yourself back. I know how hard that is to do. We all know. Prayers.

ErikT

what about an AA meeting today?

KateL

You can do it xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

2bhappier

I looked up local AA meetings. There was one at 7:30 am that I missed. There is another tomorrow at 7:30 that I can go to. This is my plan for today, please let me know what you think because obviously I am not handling this well on my own:

1) Going to a workout class this morning.
2) Renting bikes with the family and riding the rest of the day
3) Posting here a lot
4) Reading the Big Book (I have it on my phone)

I also started the sober timer thing because I think I need that accountability.

I want to try to move forward and not keep myself in the mindset of how horrible I am. My husband basically said he doesn't want to talk about my drinking problem because he thinks it is a farce.

12mancan

first off, you're not horrible, try to wipe those thoughts if you can. You're trying very hard to work on something that's very hard to do... start again today, keep trying. if this was easy, then we wouldn't be here trying to support each other. Sounds like you have a good plan for the day... good luck!