Hello First Post - my alcohol history
30yrdrunk
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 89
Hello First Post - my alcohol history
Here is my story. I am a classic binge drinker. I can have a few beers and stop; however when the opportunity presents itself I get rip roaring crazy drunk. On some occasions I'm the life if the party; other times I can be extremely obnoxious and belligerent. I have been repeating this cycle since I was about 14yrs old; I am 44 now. Therefore my name 30yr drunk. When I look closely at my life I can say that alcohol in one way or another has shaped my life.
I have had roughly 2 dozen significant alcohol incidents.
Among them:
2 DUIs - did 15 weekends in jail for the 2nd
I was nearly beaten to death in college - I was blackout drunk and picked a fight with a rival fraternity
3 drunk and disorderly arrests
The incident which brought me to SR happened on December 15th 2013.
I had a terrible argument after a night out at a party with my wife - she deservedly punched me in the face a couple of times. In a drunken rage I threatened her with divorce and asked her to the leave the house. I even called the police. The police had her leave and take our 2 kids with her. To top it off my mother-in-law was sleeping over. She had to drive in an ice storm - with her daughter and my kids.
Here is a little background on my family and the start if my drinking life. I started drinking heavily on weekends in high school. I couldn't wait to drink. I am the youngest of 6 children and considerably younger than my siblings. My oldest brother is almost 19 yrs older than me; the closest is 5.5 yrs older. I idolized my older siblings who were in HS and
College. My favorite movie was 'Animal House'; I was 9 when it came out. I glamourized booze. In HS and College I was always designated drinker. If I could get away with it I was going to get blasted. I got through HS OK as B- student. However, my drinking intensified in college. I spent 3.5 yrs at a state school in PA. I left with about 2 yrs of credits with a C average having failed multiple courses. Fortunately, I left school came home and got my degree. It was just work and school and heavy drinking on the weekends.
I have been lucky enough to earn a pretty decent living in mortgage sales. I hate the work but have stayed with it; probably because I have always been binging and regretting and feeling ashamed. I honestly feel I have been able to see things clearly in my life because of this pattern.
I met my wife when I had been drinking. I am lucky. She is an extremely loving responsible person from a wonderful family. We have a great marriage except when I get carried away with drinking. I am blind to what I put her through when I get bombed. The old adage is true - what is obvious to everyone else is not obvious to a drunk. I have a 4yr old daughter and a 7yr old son. I've got to bury this affliction once and for all for my wife and children.
My father was an alcoholic and I watched him binge drink and get crazy. When he drank he would scream and yell and get violent; my siblings were all scared of him. He didn't drink everyday but when he did he lost total control of himself. I am repeating his mistakes. I've got to change I can't pass this on to my kids.
I am now 25 days completely sober and I feel good. I look forward to a sober life without the shame and embarassment and excruciating hangovers. I have been blessed in so many ways. I can directly attribute all of my life's problems due to drinking. My wife has forgiven me; with the understanding that I must change. My immediate goal is to not drink at all in 2014. I am hoping after a year sober I will be able to bury alcohol for hope for good and lose the desire to drink. I would like to join the class of Dec 2013 and I humbly ask for your comments, support and companionship.
I have had roughly 2 dozen significant alcohol incidents.
Among them:
2 DUIs - did 15 weekends in jail for the 2nd
I was nearly beaten to death in college - I was blackout drunk and picked a fight with a rival fraternity
3 drunk and disorderly arrests
The incident which brought me to SR happened on December 15th 2013.
I had a terrible argument after a night out at a party with my wife - she deservedly punched me in the face a couple of times. In a drunken rage I threatened her with divorce and asked her to the leave the house. I even called the police. The police had her leave and take our 2 kids with her. To top it off my mother-in-law was sleeping over. She had to drive in an ice storm - with her daughter and my kids.
Here is a little background on my family and the start if my drinking life. I started drinking heavily on weekends in high school. I couldn't wait to drink. I am the youngest of 6 children and considerably younger than my siblings. My oldest brother is almost 19 yrs older than me; the closest is 5.5 yrs older. I idolized my older siblings who were in HS and
College. My favorite movie was 'Animal House'; I was 9 when it came out. I glamourized booze. In HS and College I was always designated drinker. If I could get away with it I was going to get blasted. I got through HS OK as B- student. However, my drinking intensified in college. I spent 3.5 yrs at a state school in PA. I left with about 2 yrs of credits with a C average having failed multiple courses. Fortunately, I left school came home and got my degree. It was just work and school and heavy drinking on the weekends.
I have been lucky enough to earn a pretty decent living in mortgage sales. I hate the work but have stayed with it; probably because I have always been binging and regretting and feeling ashamed. I honestly feel I have been able to see things clearly in my life because of this pattern.
I met my wife when I had been drinking. I am lucky. She is an extremely loving responsible person from a wonderful family. We have a great marriage except when I get carried away with drinking. I am blind to what I put her through when I get bombed. The old adage is true - what is obvious to everyone else is not obvious to a drunk. I have a 4yr old daughter and a 7yr old son. I've got to bury this affliction once and for all for my wife and children.
My father was an alcoholic and I watched him binge drink and get crazy. When he drank he would scream and yell and get violent; my siblings were all scared of him. He didn't drink everyday but when he did he lost total control of himself. I am repeating his mistakes. I've got to change I can't pass this on to my kids.
I am now 25 days completely sober and I feel good. I look forward to a sober life without the shame and embarassment and excruciating hangovers. I have been blessed in so many ways. I can directly attribute all of my life's problems due to drinking. My wife has forgiven me; with the understanding that I must change. My immediate goal is to not drink at all in 2014. I am hoping after a year sober I will be able to bury alcohol for hope for good and lose the desire to drink. I would like to join the class of Dec 2013 and I humbly ask for your comments, support and companionship.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I'm so glad you joined us 30yrdrunk. You've made a wise decision - be proud.
Congratulations on your 25 days. It's amazing how we cling to the idea of it being fun - even as it's destroying us. Each time it got in my system it led to danger - but still I sought that elusive high that I had long ago. It's never coming back. Leading a sober life with eyes wide open is so much better. No more guilt or worry about what we've said or done. We're glad you're here.
Congratulations on your 25 days. It's amazing how we cling to the idea of it being fun - even as it's destroying us. Each time it got in my system it led to danger - but still I sought that elusive high that I had long ago. It's never coming back. Leading a sober life with eyes wide open is so much better. No more guilt or worry about what we've said or done. We're glad you're here.
Dented But Reliable
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Pickerington, OH
Posts: 31
Looks like you're well on your way. One thing I say to new folks is this: "Stick around. The worse that can happen is you stay sober." Usually gets a few laughs. But what it really mean is this: staying sober is my goal at first. But many, many more things--call them blessings--come out of the changes that my head and heart will go through. 
Faith and reason
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
Welcome to SR! Glad to have you here. My drinking also escalated a lot when I was at university. I can also identify with the feelings of shame and embarrassment and the agonizing hangovers. My life is now so much better without all of that - far better than I even envisioned it would be when I quit drinking. A new life awaits you. Well done on 25 days.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 329
Welcome and well done on 25 days. You are probably already seeing some of the benefits of sobriety and you will be glad to know it gets easier and better with time. You seem to have a lovely family and a lot to lose if you don't beat this. There are nanny people on here who have / are beating this and if you really want to then you will do also. All the best.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Congratualtions on 25 days and I hope you can go on to have a happy family life. I can empathise with your wife's frustration comletely and it wasnlt fair to have them drive off in a snow storm. However, that was the drunk you, so don't beat yourself up, that can be so detrimental. I thinks your wife probably feels bad about punching you in the face too. Violence cannnot be condoned whether you think you deserve it or not. Good luck x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 197
Wow 30 year drunk. You story is a mirror of mine. Almost scary. I'm also 40 and have drinking for 20 years ( close ) and am exactly the same. Sometimes life of the party and sometimes not so much. I also have two young children and an amazing wife. She doesn't drink and never has but is completely supportive of me regardless. Luckily I have never been arrested but I have no idea how. Credit that to the big fellow. I have tried multiple times to quit. Made it 6 months once and went immediately back into the same pattern. This time I'm 2 months and, god willing, will never go back My father was also a cripple drink and it ended up killing himself, only after he dwstroyed his wife and kids. I will not, cannot, do that to my kids. I am done having my kids say" daddy can you read me a book " and I responded with anger " go have your mommy do it". Meantime I'm drunk as hell on the couch. Breaks my heart just thinking bout. Anyway I'm so happy to see you here. You are definately not alone and we can do this. MB8
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