Stuck in a slump
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 200
Stuck in a slump
I consistently work the steps, steps 11,12. And I am going to meetings, but I am so bored with life. I am tired (for now) of going to meetings, but for now theres no other options, as I am looking for a job, trying to get off antidepressants, and I am lonely and bored.
I overanalyze the program and get bored of the meeting formats I go to. It's the same old **** over and over. I am not in fit condition to even sponsor someone because I am so depressed. Has anyone experienced these slumps and what to do?
I overanalyze the program and get bored of the meeting formats I go to. It's the same old **** over and over. I am not in fit condition to even sponsor someone because I am so depressed. Has anyone experienced these slumps and what to do?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
1. No one is forcing you to go to the meetings you attend 2. Boredom is a choice 3. Everyone has bad days and slumps 4. How you get yourself out of a rut is largely up to you. 5. Action speaks louder than words.
Sorry you feel depressed. How is your spiritual side getting along?
Sorry you feel depressed. How is your spiritual side getting along?
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Soberhal, if you are feeling depressed then perhaps attempting to reduce medication might not be the best thing to do right now. More aggressive treatment might be in order rather than less.
For me, increasing my physical activity is quite important. I also need to be very careful how I think about things. I need to remember that I don't have to believe everything I think.
I also remind myself, when things seem to be at their worst, that doing something kind for someone can shift my perspective. Attempt to look for the opportunity to do this. You might be surprised how much it can help.
For me, increasing my physical activity is quite important. I also need to be very careful how I think about things. I need to remember that I don't have to believe everything I think.
I also remind myself, when things seem to be at their worst, that doing something kind for someone can shift my perspective. Attempt to look for the opportunity to do this. You might be surprised how much it can help.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"I consistently work the steps, steps 11,12."
its a 12 step program, not 2. "practice these principles in all out affairs." are you practicing the principles of ALL the steps?
have you taken the advise given in another thread of yours and went out into the community and volunteered?
i hope you are getting off antidepressants with your doctor having knowledge of it.
"Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead.
its a 12 step program, not 2. "practice these principles in all out affairs." are you practicing the principles of ALL the steps?
have you taken the advise given in another thread of yours and went out into the community and volunteered?
i hope you are getting off antidepressants with your doctor having knowledge of it.
"Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
"I consistently work the steps, steps 11,12."
its a 12 step program, not 2. "practice these principles in all out affairs." are you practicing the principles of ALL the steps?
have you taken the advise given in another thread of yours and went out into the community and volunteered?
i hope you are getting off antidepressants with your doctor having knowledge of it.
"Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead.
its a 12 step program, not 2. "practice these principles in all out affairs." are you practicing the principles of ALL the steps?
have you taken the advise given in another thread of yours and went out into the community and volunteered?
i hope you are getting off antidepressants with your doctor having knowledge of it.
"Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead.
I can't volunteer I feel like sh1t. Also some meetings are terrible, open discussion hell, people talk about everything under the sun except for recovery. not everything is so simple , and not every solution involves the 12 steps.
Originally Posted by Taking5
Sounds like you are going to AA discussion meetings. Am I right? If so try a Big Book study meeting.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
Originally Posted by soberhal9
i work steps 10,11,12. First of all steps 10,11,12 is the whole program wrapped up into one once we finish steps 1-9.
I can't volunteer I feel like sh1t. Also some meetings are terrible, open discussion hell, people talk about everything under the sun except for recovery. not everything is so simple , and not every solution involves the 12 steps.
That what I am trying to do. thank you.
I can't volunteer I feel like sh1t. Also some meetings are terrible, open discussion hell, people talk about everything under the sun except for recovery. not everything is so simple , and not every solution involves the 12 steps.
That what I am trying to do. thank you.
why they are called "Maintenance." However, when you work Step 10
do you work all 5 parts of it on a regular or even daily basis ?
I am not sure why feeling like s--t prevents you from volunteering for an AA position
such as Secretary or Coffee Maker etc.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by soberhal9
i work steps 10,11,12. First of all steps 10,11,12 is the whole program wrapped up into one once we finish steps 1-9.
I can't volunteer I feel like sh1t. Also some meetings are terrible, open discussion hell, people talk about everything under the sun except for recovery. not everything is so simple , and not every solution involves the 12 steps.
That what I am trying to do. thank you.
I can't volunteer I feel like sh1t. Also some meetings are terrible, open discussion hell, people talk about everything under the sun except for recovery. not everything is so simple , and not every solution involves the 12 steps.
That what I am trying to do. thank you.
not sure ive read in the big book where I only have to work steps 10,11,12 after goin throught the steps once, but i'll continue using all of em. its been workin pretty good.
I wish you the best.
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
Recovery need not be your entire life. It need not be 24/7. We recover to join and enjoy life, not to hide out in AA. It involves participation. I too went through something like that where it was 24/7 and felt I had no life. I was sitting back and just waiting for things to happen to rather than from me and my inner nudgings from my HP. I found that once I got past those initial weeks and getting to that point of the mental obsession lifting and getting into a recovery life groove, I still had fear about getting out there in life. I still had some fears about failure, succeeding and getting with others. It took me additional 4,5,6,7 step work to do that...and ACTION!
Getting out there and doing what was uncomfortable for me was a major factor in moving past the fears. Service is one way of doing it. Actions help to change my thinking, not the other way around. Often I would grit my teeth and just do what I needed to do. The payoff? Less fear, greater participation with my fellows (and family and friends and nighbours, etc - not just AAs) and the experience of moving past things that block me from my HP and others.
And frankly, I found sponsoring other men something that just boosted my spiritual side beyond what I could imagine. Nothing brings me out of myself more than helping another alcoholic move through the steps.
I hope things turn around for you
Getting out there and doing what was uncomfortable for me was a major factor in moving past the fears. Service is one way of doing it. Actions help to change my thinking, not the other way around. Often I would grit my teeth and just do what I needed to do. The payoff? Less fear, greater participation with my fellows (and family and friends and nighbours, etc - not just AAs) and the experience of moving past things that block me from my HP and others.
And frankly, I found sponsoring other men something that just boosted my spiritual side beyond what I could imagine. Nothing brings me out of myself more than helping another alcoholic move through the steps.
I hope things turn around for you
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
Originally Posted by tomsteve
welp, it doesn't read like 3 steps is workin very good for ya. yer free to keep doin it that way or you could start at step one.
not sure ive read in the big book where I only have to work steps 10,11,12 after goin throught the steps once, but i'll continue using all of em. its been workin pretty good.
I wish you the best.
not sure ive read in the big book where I only have to work steps 10,11,12 after goin throught the steps once, but i'll continue using all of em. its been workin pretty good.
I wish you the best.
every day.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by UncleMeat69
3rd. Edition, PG 84 = 5 Parts of Step 10 is working the steps
every day.
every day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
Originally Posted by Boleo
"Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code."
2.) When these crop up we ask God at once to remove them. =Steps 6 & 7.
3.) We discuss them with someone immediately. = Step 5
4.) And make amends if we have harmed anyone = Steps 8&9
5.) Then we turn our thoughts to someone we can help. = Step 12
"This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for a lifetime."
Works the 5 parts of the 10th. Step on a regular basis and you work the work
Steps everyday and stay in "Fit spiritual condition."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by UncleMeat69
3rd. Edition, PG 84 = 5 Parts of Step 10 is working the steps
every day.
every day.
Originally Posted by Boleo
"Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code."
Originally Posted by UncleMeat69
I couldn't agree with you more about the Maintenance Steps, that's
why they are called "Maintenance." However, when you work Step 10
do you work all 5 parts of it on a regular or even daily basis ?
I am not sure why feeling like s--t prevents you from volunteering for an AA position
such as Secretary or Coffee Maker etc.
why they are called "Maintenance." However, when you work Step 10
do you work all 5 parts of it on a regular or even daily basis ?
I am not sure why feeling like s--t prevents you from volunteering for an AA position
such as Secretary or Coffee Maker etc.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by paul99
Recovery need not be your entire life. It need not be 24/7. We recover to join and enjoy life, not to hide out in AA. It involves participation. I too went through something like that where it was 24/7 and felt I had no life. I was sitting back and just waiting for things to happen to rather than from me and my inner nudgings from my HP. I found that once I got past those initial weeks and getting to that point of the mental obsession lifting and getting into a recovery life groove, I still had fear about getting out there in life. I still had some fears about failure, succeeding and getting with others. It took me additional 4,5,6,7 step work to do that...and ACTION!
Getting out there and doing what was uncomfortable for me was a major factor in moving past the fears. Service is one way of doing it. Actions help to change my thinking, not the other way around. Often I would grit my teeth and just do what I needed to do. The payoff? Less fear, greater participation with my fellows (and family and friends and nighbours, etc - not just AAs) and the experience of moving past things that block me from my HP and others.
And frankly, I found sponsoring other men something that just boosted my spiritual side beyond what I could imagine. Nothing brings me out of myself more than helping another alcoholic move through the steps.
I hope things turn around for you
Getting out there and doing what was uncomfortable for me was a major factor in moving past the fears. Service is one way of doing it. Actions help to change my thinking, not the other way around. Often I would grit my teeth and just do what I needed to do. The payoff? Less fear, greater participation with my fellows (and family and friends and nighbours, etc - not just AAs) and the experience of moving past things that block me from my HP and others.
And frankly, I found sponsoring other men something that just boosted my spiritual side beyond what I could imagine. Nothing brings me out of myself more than helping another alcoholic move through the steps.
I hope things turn around for you
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
Originally Posted by soberhal9
Yes, I work STEP 10. All parts. I read the big book and know what it means. Also I do a nightly review.
Yes I do all 5 parts . I thought you meant volunteering outside of AA. I have speaking commitments. and 2 commitments at my 2 home groups.
Yes I do all 5 parts . I thought you meant volunteering outside of AA. I have speaking commitments. and 2 commitments at my 2 home groups.
are not a solution to all life's problems. Many times in my sobriety I
found that I just had to stand still and hurt, but as the saying goes,
"This too shall pass." I also learned that my feelings can belie what
my reality is and they often misrepresent the truth. Just because I
feel it doesn't make it so.
Probably the same with you - boredom and depression are facts of life,
especially depression. Drinking a depressant (alcohol) for many years
then stopping has consequences that last for a long time afterwards.
When I quit smoking it took a couple years before the nicotine demon
lost its power. He still pops his head up now and then though.
If your "Long days journey into night" persists do not rule out professional
help. I sought it out for awhile and it supported me through some problems
other than alcohol. AA restored my life so that I could participate in life,
inside and outside of the program. It is an awesome world out there - and
HP'S will for you is to be "Happy, joyous and free."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by UncleMeat69
Then you are on the right track, IMO. As you stated earlier the Steps
are not a solution to all life's problems. Many times in my sobriety I
found that I just had to stand still and hurt, but as the saying goes,
"This too shall pass." I also learned that my feelings can belie what
my reality is and they often misrepresent the truth. Just because I
feel it doesn't make it so.
Probably the same with you - boredom and depression are facts of life,
especially depression. Drinking a depressant (alcohol) for many years
then stopping has consequences that last for a long time afterwards.
When I quit smoking it took a couple years before the nicotine demon
lost its power. He still pops his head up now and then though.
If your "Long days journey into night" persists do not rule out professional
help. I sought it out for awhile and it supported me through some problems
other than alcohol. AA restored my life so that I could participate in life,
inside and outside of the program. It is an awesome world out there - and
HP'S will for you is to be "Happy, joyous and free."
are not a solution to all life's problems. Many times in my sobriety I
found that I just had to stand still and hurt, but as the saying goes,
"This too shall pass." I also learned that my feelings can belie what
my reality is and they often misrepresent the truth. Just because I
feel it doesn't make it so.
Probably the same with you - boredom and depression are facts of life,
especially depression. Drinking a depressant (alcohol) for many years
then stopping has consequences that last for a long time afterwards.
When I quit smoking it took a couple years before the nicotine demon
lost its power. He still pops his head up now and then though.
If your "Long days journey into night" persists do not rule out professional
help. I sought it out for awhile and it supported me through some problems
other than alcohol. AA restored my life so that I could participate in life,
inside and outside of the program. It is an awesome world out there - and
HP'S will for you is to be "Happy, joyous and free."
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 557
I can relate, and I agree that recovery shouldn't be your whole life. Where I live, AA isn't what it should be. Almost every meeting is held in one of four clubs, so there is no true AA structure. No one takes responsibility or does service work. There isn't even typically a structure for chairing meetings. Whoever feels guilty or wants the meeting to actually start on time will chair at the last minute. No money is contributed to higher AA entities, as it all goes to support the club. There are no real "groups". So meetings can sometimes be a challenge for me (although it's all I know since I haven't been elsewhere). It gets frustrating and tiring to deal with all the sloth and gossip that go along with it. So sometimes I need a break. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I've just learned from experience not to get too far away. I took a three year "break" a couple of years after I got sober, and I got to thinking I had this alcohol thing handled on my own. It was also selfish of me because I couldn't give back. So now I go to meetings to spread the message. When I need more, I hit more. But I have a life outside of AA now and AA is only a small (but important) part of my life.
It sounds like you are working on things; that's all you can really do. It can be very frustrating to be doing everything you can - meetings, working with others, meds, therapy, etc. - and still not feel like you're making progress. But I'll be you are, you just can't see it because you're in the midst of things. Sometimes things just take time, and it takes a while after getting sober to figure out how to balance things. We got sober so we could live our lives, not spend all of it obsessing about sobriety. It's awesome that this newcomer came along just when you needed him! Good luck!
It sounds like you are working on things; that's all you can really do. It can be very frustrating to be doing everything you can - meetings, working with others, meds, therapy, etc. - and still not feel like you're making progress. But I'll be you are, you just can't see it because you're in the midst of things. Sometimes things just take time, and it takes a while after getting sober to figure out how to balance things. We got sober so we could live our lives, not spend all of it obsessing about sobriety. It's awesome that this newcomer came along just when you needed him! Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by UncleMeat69
1.) Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment & fear = Step 4.
2.) When these crop up we ask God at once to remove them. =Steps 6 & 7.
3.) We discuss them with someone immediately. = Step 5
4.) And make amends if we have harmed anyone = Steps 8&9
5.) Then we turn our thoughts to someone we can help. = Step 12
"This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for a lifetime."
Works the 5 parts of the 10th. Step on a regular basis and you work the work
Steps everyday and stay in "Fit spiritual condition."
2.) When these crop up we ask God at once to remove them. =Steps 6 & 7.
3.) We discuss them with someone immediately. = Step 5
4.) And make amends if we have harmed anyone = Steps 8&9
5.) Then we turn our thoughts to someone we can help. = Step 12
"This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for a lifetime."
Works the 5 parts of the 10th. Step on a regular basis and you work the work
Steps everyday and stay in "Fit spiritual condition."
lifes become unmanageable even when sober.
sanity can creep in.
i have seen many, including myself take will and life back, which complaining about how meetings are being conducted,IMO, is an example of me playing God.
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