I can relate, and I agree that recovery shouldn't be your whole life. Where I live, AA isn't what it should be. Almost every meeting is held in one of four clubs, so there is no true AA structure. No one takes responsibility or does service work. There isn't even typically a structure for chairing meetings. Whoever feels guilty or wants the meeting to actually start on time will chair at the last minute. No money is contributed to higher AA entities, as it all goes to support the club. There are no real "groups". So meetings can sometimes be a challenge for me (although it's all I know since I haven't been elsewhere). It gets frustrating and tiring to deal with all the sloth and gossip that go along with it. So sometimes I need a break. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I've just learned from experience not to get too far away. I took a three year "break" a couple of years after I got sober, and I got to thinking I had this alcohol thing handled on my own. It was also selfish of me because I couldn't give back. So now I go to meetings to spread the message. When I need more, I hit more. But I have a life outside of AA now and AA is only a small (but important) part of my life.
It sounds like you are working on things; that's all you can really do. It can be very frustrating to be doing everything you can - meetings, working with others, meds, therapy, etc. - and still not feel like you're making progress. But I'll be you are, you just can't see it because you're in the midst of things. Sometimes things just take time, and it takes a while after getting sober to figure out how to balance things. We got sober so we could live our lives, not spend all of it obsessing about sobriety. It's awesome that this newcomer came along just when you needed him! Good luck!