New
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Welcome Soshi! Most everyone feels the same as you when they arrive.
The drinking problem can be solved and there is a lot of support on this site.
You can find peace and serenity again.
The drinking problem can be solved and there is a lot of support on this site.
You can find peace and serenity again.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Finances are a worry, but they are worse when we drink because alcohol is expensive. I hope you find some answers here, there are various forms of support out there that cost nothing. Keep posting and reading so you can find some options. If you need to see a Doctor, perhaps it might be a good idea. xxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Soshi, don't despair. There are many here that achieved sobriety.
I have yet to hear a single one that regret it, including me at 14 days sober.
When I got here, my life was falling apart around me, my health was failing. I can't say that all my problems are now fixed, but they are a lot better already.
I take it one little step at a time, you can do that to. You just have to believe enough is enough and that you want your life back. First step.
You can do this!
I have yet to hear a single one that regret it, including me at 14 days sober.
When I got here, my life was falling apart around me, my health was failing. I can't say that all my problems are now fixed, but they are a lot better already.
I take it one little step at a time, you can do that to. You just have to believe enough is enough and that you want your life back. First step.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello, and welcome.
As the title of your post says, 'New'. Today is a new day and a day you can make a new start. That is a good place to start. Just don't drink today.
I can understand your problem. Alcohol wreaked havoc on my life. I won't go into the gory details. But let me say, I was, what I thought, was a hopeless drunk. If I make it through today without drinking, tomorrow I will have three years sober. And I was, as I said, a bad drunk. I don't even consider myself technicaly an alcoholic. I was a drunk.
When I finally quit, my life slowly got better and better.
I feel for you and wish you the best. You've found a great place for support and I hope you stick around and read and post as often as you like.
As the title of your post says, 'New'. Today is a new day and a day you can make a new start. That is a good place to start. Just don't drink today.
I can understand your problem. Alcohol wreaked havoc on my life. I won't go into the gory details. But let me say, I was, what I thought, was a hopeless drunk. If I make it through today without drinking, tomorrow I will have three years sober. And I was, as I said, a bad drunk. I don't even consider myself technicaly an alcoholic. I was a drunk.
When I finally quit, my life slowly got better and better.
I feel for you and wish you the best. You've found a great place for support and I hope you stick around and read and post as often as you like.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 12
Both. He drinks a lot, every day. I can go days without drinking, but, once I start, I drink to the point of blacking out. And stupidly, I chug it. I don't even know why. I go from sober to unconscious without the joy of being buzzed.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
This is something you can discuss with him. But sobriety is a personal journey, it's something you have to do for yourself first. If you mingle the effort, if he relapses, you will probably also.
He also has to want sobriety, and if his rock bottom is not here yet, you can't force this on him. My 50 Cents.
He also has to want sobriety, and if his rock bottom is not here yet, you can't force this on him. My 50 Cents.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
My partner also drank heavily and I really struggled because he had no intention of giving it up. Unfortunately I had to part from him in the end. Try talking to him about it, it's worth giving it a go. He will have to curb it if you are struggling financially, you can't get on top of things if he is holding you back.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey Soshi, most of us have reached that point when we reach a realisation that something has to change, and there is no doubt, it can be a scary moment, the fear of the unknown, the fear of failure, the fear of how can it be done, that's why most can't do it on our own, we need support and like minded people to get us through, SR is a great resource but there are other resources like AA and community groups.
It all though needs to start with a Day 1, forget about the weeks/months/years, it's about stringing 1 sober day after another, it can be done, and don't get me wrong most of us have slipped now and again, but that's fine, it's about getting back up and going at it again.
A realisation that something needs to change, is positive in itself, with the right support and a plan you can make it happen!!
It all though needs to start with a Day 1, forget about the weeks/months/years, it's about stringing 1 sober day after another, it can be done, and don't get me wrong most of us have slipped now and again, but that's fine, it's about getting back up and going at it again.
A realisation that something needs to change, is positive in itself, with the right support and a plan you can make it happen!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome Soshi
Its difficult when you partner still drinks but it's not a dealbreaker - many posters here have partners who drink but they have remained sober themselves.
I think support is very important, and you'll find a lot of that here. If you're intested in face to face support as well there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
If you need access to a Dr there are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics
2-1-1 Call Center Search
D
Its difficult when you partner still drinks but it's not a dealbreaker - many posters here have partners who drink but they have remained sober themselves.
I think support is very important, and you'll find a lot of that here. If you're intested in face to face support as well there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
If you need access to a Dr there are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics
The 10377 clinics in this database are free, low cost, low cost with a sliding scale based on income, or offer some type of financial assistance.
2-1-1 provides free and confidential information and referral. Call 2-1-1 for help with food, housing, employment, health care, counseling and more. Learn more about your local 2-1-1 by looking it up here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Welcome to SR, Soshi. My mate continues to drink even as I try to stay sober. It has been a challenge but, when you think about it, it's your body and your issue to address. YOU control whether or not you continue to drink. Not him. If he chooses not to address his own alcohol use, there is nothing you can do to force that.
Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.
Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Edwardsville, IL
Posts: 82
Soshi, it is hard to quit; even more difficult when you have a situation like yours but it is possible.
I am on day 1 again today, but I made it 6 1/2 years before I stumbled. When you know it's time to quit, you have had it, but it is truly great that you made that revelation. I've been there. It took me years to realize I had a problem.
If you want to move forward and your huband does not, my opinion is that you need to do whatever you have to do to get yourself better. Go to a meeting and stay on here. I joined today and I've been on here all day and it is helping. It gives me hope and reminds me that I am not alone in this struggle.
I am on day 1 again today, but I made it 6 1/2 years before I stumbled. When you know it's time to quit, you have had it, but it is truly great that you made that revelation. I've been there. It took me years to realize I had a problem.
If you want to move forward and your huband does not, my opinion is that you need to do whatever you have to do to get yourself better. Go to a meeting and stay on here. I joined today and I've been on here all day and it is helping. It gives me hope and reminds me that I am not alone in this struggle.
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