recovery centers in the NW - can we talk about this here?
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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recovery centers in the NW - can we talk about this here?
Not sure if this is the right place, but what to look for in a treatment center?
AH currently has insurance that should cover this and his boss has offered to cover the cost above that. I know this can be crazy expensive, but hopefully insurance will cover most of it. His manager has heard good things about a treatment center in Spokane, WA (local people with long-term success), but also interested in anything from Colorado or Utah to Portland/Seattle area. Feel free to throw out any ideas, even if they are further away. There are some places closer to us that don't have as good of reputation for long term results. AH's manager and boss don't think those would work for him. They'll be meeting with him soon and we're looking to have options for him lined out. Of course, he'll have the option to say no and leave his job so I do understand that, but I think he'll take it. The past couple months he's been on-and-off the wagon on his own and keeps failing at that (yah-da, yah-da -- I think most of you know how this goes...) Yes, I get the fact that he needs to want to get sober to make it work. I've been here a long time.
There's one in Minneapolis with a great rep, but it's 6 weeks long. Although I'd be okay with that, I'm sure everyone else involved would prefer 30 days or shorter. I would think 30 days would be the minimum for any real progress since I know he'll be jumping fully back into long days of work until late March. It's the busy time of the year for them and there is no changing that.
AH currently has insurance that should cover this and his boss has offered to cover the cost above that. I know this can be crazy expensive, but hopefully insurance will cover most of it. His manager has heard good things about a treatment center in Spokane, WA (local people with long-term success), but also interested in anything from Colorado or Utah to Portland/Seattle area. Feel free to throw out any ideas, even if they are further away. There are some places closer to us that don't have as good of reputation for long term results. AH's manager and boss don't think those would work for him. They'll be meeting with him soon and we're looking to have options for him lined out. Of course, he'll have the option to say no and leave his job so I do understand that, but I think he'll take it. The past couple months he's been on-and-off the wagon on his own and keeps failing at that (yah-da, yah-da -- I think most of you know how this goes...) Yes, I get the fact that he needs to want to get sober to make it work. I've been here a long time.
There's one in Minneapolis with a great rep, but it's 6 weeks long. Although I'd be okay with that, I'm sure everyone else involved would prefer 30 days or shorter. I would think 30 days would be the minimum for any real progress since I know he'll be jumping fully back into long days of work until late March. It's the busy time of the year for them and there is no changing that.
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Join Date: May 2010
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I can only say what my experience was. I wish for my AH he would have really checked this out as the place he went to was a complete and total waste. He has underlying mental issues. He is able to function but they exist and this is the case for MANY alcoholics. They use alcohol for self medication. That being said, I wish we had went to a place that was a dual-diagnosis center and could treat both disorders hand in hand. Go there, talk to people who are there. Talk to people who have been there. Speak to the counselors and staff. Ask if they involve the family...if so...how. However...HE should do all of this, not you. He got himself in this mess, he needs to take charge of where he gets treatment for it.
What a blessing that you have coverage for this and his employer is willing to pay also. I hope he sees how lucky he is and truly takes advantage of this chance.
Good Luck!
What a blessing that you have coverage for this and his employer is willing to pay also. I hope he sees how lucky he is and truly takes advantage of this chance.
Good Luck!
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by hopeful4 
I can only say what my experience was. I wish for my AH he would have really checked this out as the place he went to was a complete and total waste. He has underlying mental issues. He is able to function but they exist and this is the case for MANY alcoholics. They use alcohol for self medication. That being said, I wish we had went to a place that was a dual-diagnosis center and could treat both disorders hand in hand. Go there, talk to people who are there. Talk to people who have been there. Speak to the counselors and staff. Ask if they involve the family...if so...how. However...HE should do all of this, not you. He got himself in this mess, he needs to take charge of where he gets treatment for it.
What a blessing that you have coverage for this and his employer is willing to pay also. I hope he sees how lucky he is and truly takes advantage of this chance.
Good Luck!
What a blessing that you have coverage for this and his employer is willing to pay also. I hope he sees how lucky he is and truly takes advantage of this chance.
Good Luck!
Same here. All the Rehab did was take away Mrs. Hammer's own coping/self-medication methods -- the present addiction.
Sent her back to us with a note pinned on her collar --
"Dear Hammer Family, Mrs. Hammer is not quite okay. But we are telling her she is. Play along and put her in Therapy. Quick."
OMIGOD. The Mental Health Issues.
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Thanks, Hammer and hopeful.
Ideally, AH should be the one researching this. He would pick whatever is close by and would be quickest to get in and out. He's thinking with an alcoholic brain. The boss (owner) and manager plan to provide choices that have a better chance of success. We don't know if he'll take that option. No one knows what an addict will chose to do.
Ideally, AH should be the one researching this. He would pick whatever is close by and would be quickest to get in and out. He's thinking with an alcoholic brain. The boss (owner) and manager plan to provide choices that have a better chance of success. We don't know if he'll take that option. No one knows what an addict will chose to do.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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I understand. I encourage you to at least involve him so he has some ownership of the situation and can see all the hassle one has to go to just to even figure out where to go.
I did it all for AH along w/his sister. It was so nuts as I just found the place that sounded decent and could get him in the soonest. That was a very bad decision and now he too wishes he would have went somewhere else.
In the mean time, my life was falling apart, working full time and taking care of my house and two kids. Hmmm...
I did it all for AH along w/his sister. It was so nuts as I just found the place that sounded decent and could get him in the soonest. That was a very bad decision and now he too wishes he would have went somewhere else.
In the mean time, my life was falling apart, working full time and taking care of my house and two kids. Hmmm...
Originally Posted by keepingthefaith
Thanks, Hammer and hopeful.
Ideally, AH should be the one researching this. He would pick whatever is close by and would be quickest to get in and out. He's thinking with an alcoholic brain. The boss (owner) and manager plan to provide choices that have a better chance of success. We don't know if he'll take that option. No one knows what an addict will chose to do.
Ideally, AH should be the one researching this. He would pick whatever is close by and would be quickest to get in and out. He's thinking with an alcoholic brain. The boss (owner) and manager plan to provide choices that have a better chance of success. We don't know if he'll take that option. No one knows what an addict will chose to do.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
keep in mind a rehab is only as good as the effort and intent of the addict/alcoholic.
In the Seattle Area - Highline Treatment Center, Lakeside Milam, or maybe even Shick Shadel. I am familiar with the first two....both current and ex husbands attended Highline (not part of a prenup or anything, just cosmic coincidence regarding the type of partner i lean towards!) Milam gets lots of mileage....SS i've never met anyone that went there but it's been around forever.
In Spokane, any treatment center attached to a hospital is an option.
bottom line...you can do all the research in the world, but you aren't the one who will ultimately decide. and there are no guarantees....just how it is. so keep those expectations hopes and dreams in check!!
In the Seattle Area - Highline Treatment Center, Lakeside Milam, or maybe even Shick Shadel. I am familiar with the first two....both current and ex husbands attended Highline (not part of a prenup or anything, just cosmic coincidence regarding the type of partner i lean towards!) Milam gets lots of mileage....SS i've never met anyone that went there but it's been around forever.
In Spokane, any treatment center attached to a hospital is an option.
bottom line...you can do all the research in the world, but you aren't the one who will ultimately decide. and there are no guarantees....just how it is. so keep those expectations hopes and dreams in check!!
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Keepintthefaith--if the o ne in Minneapolis is the one that I am thinking of--it is excellent--in my opinion. It has had decades of n ationwide recognition. I took a e day tour of it (several years ago--as a guest) and I was impressed. I k now of a few people personally that went there.
PM me if you are interested.
dandylion
PM me if you are interested.
dandylion
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I just finished Lakeside Milam. The program is based on the book "under the influence" which was co-wrote by Dr Milam. Family participation is encouraged, and family time was on weekends and lectures/classes on Monday and Wednesday nights. This is a program that leans heavily on how to live after addiction. Nutrition is big also. Detox is available under a doctors supervision. Of course, you only get out of the program what you put into it. I learned a lot during my time there. This is the only rehab I have ever been to so I can't compare.
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Shock Shadel, my understanding, is alcohol aversion therapy. There were a few people in my rehab who had went there. Complete with drinking large amounts of alcohol until one vomits, sleeping on sheets smelling of alcohol, etc.
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Mailbu Shores, Hazelton, Promises, Betty Ford ect.., those are the ones that are going to help. I think paying for a top notch treatment center once is a good investment. As opposed to going "in and out" of the low cost and state funded ones for years.
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I talked to Lakeside Milam as a referral from Lakeside in Spokane which is outpatient only. I appreciate the emphasis on nutrition; the family program is twice a week during evenings and then visiting on Saturdays - it would be super difficult for me to be there for a month to do that part of it. That program is much less expensive than Rimrock in Billings, Montana -- they do a full family week though and that would be easier to manage. Mixed reviews on that one. I got some info on other programs in Spokane and Sparks was recommended second after Lakeside, but no other info on that yet. I have their phone number but cannot find them online (haven't searched by the phone number yet).
hopeful, thanks again! I needed that today. I've been giving it to AH to make the decisions on the things that we were dealing with today and especially turned things over to him when we were at the doctor (had done that before, but even more pointedly today). Things went well. Doc even acknowledged that it is rightfully up to AH when a couple of times she started to turn things towards me to help him and I'd put it back to him. She explains well how she's treating AH and why, what part is up to him, etc. It's good. (treating liver detox first, other things will be dealt with later when his liver is stronger). On the upside, it was great for him to have a neutral party validify the milestones he has accomplished and be able to give him simple steps to stay with that were working for him.
Before we went to the dr. appt. I let AH know what is coming up with his boss & manager. He said he doesn't have any choice then except to do a recovery program, but I did remind him it IS his choice. Since he doesn't want to be fired and has always taken pride in his work, he is willing to get treatment. He has said many times that although I probably don't believe it, he is trying to quit. I do believe that but I realize more than he does what is going on with all this. I reassured him (again) that getting help is necessary in order to fully recovery. On the way home we talked about the fact that you only get out of it what you put into it. There are recovery programs that take 2 or 3 months or more that have a higher success rate. A four week program can be approached by wanting to get through it and not caring (high relapse rate) or by putting intense effort into it to make it successful.
I have no great hopes and dreams here. I only have faith that no matter what happens, I will get through it. Last Friday I didn't know where he was and if he was okay, hurt, alive or dead. I turned it all over to God and dealt with things one step at a time. It wasn't the first time and very well may not be the last time. We're on a journey and it's not an easy one. He'd been on a bender for a week and wasn't actually sober until late this afternoon. I talked with a couple recovery centers over a month ago and learned many require detox to be done before admitting into their programs; then talked with docs and hospitals to learn how/when/etc. detox can be done. So today, after AH sobered up, we also talked about that. He's going through withdrawals again. I'm letting him take care of himself - the supplements really help and I'll let him decide whether to take them. If he cannot make it through on his own, he knows he'll need to be admitted somewhere to detox. (yes, detox is dangerous at home which is why we have a doctor involved) I figured this was enough for one day and we can talk about recovery centers tomorrow. Just the few I talked to today helped me realize what preliminary questions to ask. I'll put it to him make the actual calls later. He does need to know how to do this. If/when relapses happen, he needs *learn* how to ask for help.
Thanks for all the input and suggestions. I'll check them out. Keep 'em coming! Lakeside Milam seems good, but they kept saying lectures, lectures, lectures. Maybe it isn't that bad, but that's the part that really stuck with me. Are any of the programs more activity based and less sitting around in lectures? Different learnings styles for different folks. Wondering if there are other types of programs out there?
hopeful, thanks again! I needed that today. I've been giving it to AH to make the decisions on the things that we were dealing with today and especially turned things over to him when we were at the doctor (had done that before, but even more pointedly today). Things went well. Doc even acknowledged that it is rightfully up to AH when a couple of times she started to turn things towards me to help him and I'd put it back to him. She explains well how she's treating AH and why, what part is up to him, etc. It's good. (treating liver detox first, other things will be dealt with later when his liver is stronger). On the upside, it was great for him to have a neutral party validify the milestones he has accomplished and be able to give him simple steps to stay with that were working for him.
Before we went to the dr. appt. I let AH know what is coming up with his boss & manager. He said he doesn't have any choice then except to do a recovery program, but I did remind him it IS his choice. Since he doesn't want to be fired and has always taken pride in his work, he is willing to get treatment. He has said many times that although I probably don't believe it, he is trying to quit. I do believe that but I realize more than he does what is going on with all this. I reassured him (again) that getting help is necessary in order to fully recovery. On the way home we talked about the fact that you only get out of it what you put into it. There are recovery programs that take 2 or 3 months or more that have a higher success rate. A four week program can be approached by wanting to get through it and not caring (high relapse rate) or by putting intense effort into it to make it successful.
I have no great hopes and dreams here. I only have faith that no matter what happens, I will get through it. Last Friday I didn't know where he was and if he was okay, hurt, alive or dead. I turned it all over to God and dealt with things one step at a time. It wasn't the first time and very well may not be the last time. We're on a journey and it's not an easy one. He'd been on a bender for a week and wasn't actually sober until late this afternoon. I talked with a couple recovery centers over a month ago and learned many require detox to be done before admitting into their programs; then talked with docs and hospitals to learn how/when/etc. detox can be done. So today, after AH sobered up, we also talked about that. He's going through withdrawals again. I'm letting him take care of himself - the supplements really help and I'll let him decide whether to take them. If he cannot make it through on his own, he knows he'll need to be admitted somewhere to detox. (yes, detox is dangerous at home which is why we have a doctor involved) I figured this was enough for one day and we can talk about recovery centers tomorrow. Just the few I talked to today helped me realize what preliminary questions to ask. I'll put it to him make the actual calls later. He does need to know how to do this. If/when relapses happen, he needs *learn* how to ask for help.
Thanks for all the input and suggestions. I'll check them out. Keep 'em coming! Lakeside Milam seems good, but they kept saying lectures, lectures, lectures. Maybe it isn't that bad, but that's the part that really stuck with me. Are any of the programs more activity based and less sitting around in lectures? Different learnings styles for different folks. Wondering if there are other types of programs out there?
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Originally Posted by Raider
Shock Shadel, my understanding, is alcohol aversion therapy. There were a few people in my rehab who had went there. Complete with drinking large amounts of alcohol until one vomits, sleeping on sheets smelling of alcohol, etc.
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