It's almost easier after a bad day...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 596
It's almost easier after a bad day...
I had another good day today. Had plenty of energy, was productive at work and kept my mind right in regards to some issues I have with someone there. This was painful when I didn't think about things, and it will come to conversation which will not be pleasant. But I am solid in my thoughts on the subject.
All the way on my drive home my AV was speaking to me, kindly.
"See, it's ok man, have some beer tonight. Just don't drink too much, be sure to eat and goto the gym tomorrow"
"You figured out how to be now man, have some beer and think about what you have learned"
"Excellent day! Go home and plan your next great day with some beer, you got this! Good for you, I knew you could do it!"
"You had a good day today, tomorrow is gonna suck because of how you pulled yourself away from X... better have some beer and think about it"
"You're stupid, have some beer and stop beatin yourself up over it man! Have some fun! You worked hard today and did good!"
.............
ALMOST caved. I swear I would cut this part of my brain out with a dull spoon if I could figure out which piece it is. I just finished dinner and am off to walk on a treadmill at the gym. There are nice sober people there who don't know my struggles, or care. None of them have a key to my heart either.
I wouldn't be on day 7 without this site, thank you folks!!!!!
All the way on my drive home my AV was speaking to me, kindly.
"See, it's ok man, have some beer tonight. Just don't drink too much, be sure to eat and goto the gym tomorrow"
"You figured out how to be now man, have some beer and think about what you have learned"
"Excellent day! Go home and plan your next great day with some beer, you got this! Good for you, I knew you could do it!"
"You had a good day today, tomorrow is gonna suck because of how you pulled yourself away from X... better have some beer and think about it"
"You're stupid, have some beer and stop beatin yourself up over it man! Have some fun! You worked hard today and did good!"
.............
ALMOST caved. I swear I would cut this part of my brain out with a dull spoon if I could figure out which piece it is. I just finished dinner and am off to walk on a treadmill at the gym. There are nice sober people there who don't know my struggles, or care. None of them have a key to my heart either.
I wouldn't be on day 7 without this site, thank you folks!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 596
Thanks for the support. It was not an easy day but I guess that is life coming out of drinking my life away, or maybe just life in general, I have no clue yet lol. I think now after burning off some energy and being around people that I don't work with I see now why the AV was so strong.
It was a HARD day. I had to fight my mind all day. Not with everything, I did make some serious changes in how I view work and myself, and I looked for other people than the ones who cause me bad thoughts. But OMG... the emotional BS I had to deal with... it isn't anyone's fault but my own, but it is hard because having to deal with it sober and seeing things clearly and having to face what has changed... AV is speaking to me, but I would rather suffer now, than for the rest of my life. Hand me that dull spoon!
It is me, I have changed. No one else has, and that isn't their problem. The hard part is not making it my problem
Thanks again for letting me come here and ramble, it is the difference in the previous failed attempts. I think after work, my pink cloud popped into the past.
It was a HARD day. I had to fight my mind all day. Not with everything, I did make some serious changes in how I view work and myself, and I looked for other people than the ones who cause me bad thoughts. But OMG... the emotional BS I had to deal with... it isn't anyone's fault but my own, but it is hard because having to deal with it sober and seeing things clearly and having to face what has changed... AV is speaking to me, but I would rather suffer now, than for the rest of my life. Hand me that dull spoon!
It is me, I have changed. No one else has, and that isn't their problem. The hard part is not making it my problem
Thanks again for letting me come here and ramble, it is the difference in the previous failed attempts. I think after work, my pink cloud popped into the past.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 149
Thank you so much for this. I'm on the same time-frame as you & my AV was having virtually the same convo with me today. I told mine to go "f" herself & imagined her slinking back under whatever slime-covered rock she emerged from (she looks like Randall from Monsters, Inc. btw - ever the slinky, smarmy chameleon). It worked for today which is all we need it to do, right? Tomorrow is another day but I'd say we kicked this one in the bootie!!! 
Have a good night!
Have a good night!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Originally Posted by Mikie9 
Thanks again for letting me come here and ramble, it is the difference in the previous failed attempts. I think after work, my pink cloud popped into the past.
. I credit this place with teaching me pretty much everything about sobriety and myself. I'm so glad you joined us, I have a good feeling about you kid
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