Scared . Crying out for help today :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Scared . Crying out for help today :(
Hello everyone .
I had a very close call last night and am still reeling with emotions as to how close i came.
I thought i was safe . Now i know I'm NEVER really truly going to be safe.
I just need to hear some positive things as I'm having a really bad day :-(
Xx
I had a very close call last night and am still reeling with emotions as to how close i came.
I thought i was safe . Now i know I'm NEVER really truly going to be safe.
I just need to hear some positive things as I'm having a really bad day :-(
Xx
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
My first close she rattled me too - and it's natural to think it's always going to be this fight to the death - but it's not 
Keep going - we drank for years, so it takes a little while,. but once you get a point where you want and prefer being sober, I promise you it most often won't even register that people are drinking - much less upset you Snoozy
D
Keep going - we drank for years, so it takes a little while,. but once you get a point where you want and prefer being sober, I promise you it most often won't even register that people are drinking - much less upset you Snoozy
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
The important thing here is it was only a close call. It may have rattled you but you still made the right choice in the end! You are awesome and you proved it with your commitment to your sobriety.
Like Dee said, the first close call is always very unsettling. They do get easier with time and that first one is important as it teaches you something in your journey.
Like Dee said, the first close call is always very unsettling. They do get easier with time and that first one is important as it teaches you something in your journey.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Snoozy don't be too rattled by this but keep the memory somewhere to remind yourself if AV starts. Think carefully about what you did/thought to resist temptation because it's a good weapon to have in your arsenal, then let it go and move on.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
I had a really scary day yesterday too - thought about drinking the first time in weeks. Come to find out I'm actually sick with a cold. My sponsor told me in early recovery our bodies are already going through so much that when we get sick- we freak out and want to feel that "high" because that is what we used to do. Feeling better today and glad I pushed through the anxiety and panic of cravings. It just hit me out of the blue - scared me too. We dont have to be scared though do we? Nothing has changed and no one is dying, we are OK, everything is OK - weird what our minds do to us............
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hey Snoozy ,
A close call isn't a relapse . Take it in your stride , your still on the sober highway to happy destiny with all of us here , you wobbled over to the verge of the highway but there is no need to go off , come back over here with all your recovery friends and support system .
Is there something you can do to add to your support ? come here and post ? go to a meeting ? you sound kinda worried and isolated …
*ring ring* the first ring is one of mindfulness calling out to you, you're gloriously alive here and now , the decisions you make are here and now , the past and future only have the power over you that you give them .
The second ring is the freedom bell calling out to you, freedom from drink and drugs can be yours,
*hugs*
Bestwishes, m
A close call isn't a relapse . Take it in your stride , your still on the sober highway to happy destiny with all of us here , you wobbled over to the verge of the highway but there is no need to go off , come back over here with all your recovery friends and support system .
Is there something you can do to add to your support ? come here and post ? go to a meeting ? you sound kinda worried and isolated …
*ring ring* the first ring is one of mindfulness calling out to you, you're gloriously alive here and now , the decisions you make are here and now , the past and future only have the power over you that you give them .
The second ring is the freedom bell calling out to you, freedom from drink and drugs can be yours,
*hugs*
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Snoozy,
You are going to be safe and secure in your sobriety. It just takes a while to get there. It really does get easier as time passes. I don't think I could have made it if it didn't. Early sobriety hurts in so many ways. Deep breath. You will make it.
You are going to be safe and secure in your sobriety. It just takes a while to get there. It really does get easier as time passes. I don't think I could have made it if it didn't. Early sobriety hurts in so many ways. Deep breath. You will make it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Snoozy, you said yourself that when looking back at the evening, your friend lost her spark and started slurring as she drank. You know you don't want to dumb yourself down anymore.
You got sober for your health. Stay sober for your vitality. We love the witty, fun, spicy snoozy!
You got sober for your health. Stay sober for your vitality. We love the witty, fun, spicy snoozy!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Southern U.S.
Posts: 1,030
Snoozy, I always enjoy your supportive posts. It sounds like last night was scary, but you got through it and didn't drink. Know that the same insight and strength that carried you through last night resides within you, and you are able to channel it anytime you go through a rough patch.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by Dee74 
My first close she rattled me too - and it's natural to think it's always going to be this fight to the death - but it's not
Keep going - we drank for years, so it takes a little while,. but once you get a point where you want and prefer being sober, I promise you it most often won't even register that people are drinking - much less upset you Snoozy
D
Keep going - we drank for years, so it takes a little while,. but once you get a point where you want and prefer being sober, I promise you it most often won't even register that people are drinking - much less upset you Snoozy
D
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
How incredibly proud you must be of yourself for putting your life and well being above a very short lived poison induced intoxication !
Imagine how you would be feeling today ...
Bravo sister !! BRA-VO !!!
Imagine how you would be feeling today ...
Bravo sister !! BRA-VO !!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hey my friend....you did GOOD girl.
I think there is a temptation early on in sobriety to think that if we have thoughts of drinking, if we are close to caving, then that's a sign of failure. Maybe our resolve isn't strong enough?
That really isn't true. Of course we have thoughts...we might really want to drink, we might obsess over it a bit, try to convince ourselves that maybe we are not really alcoholic, that one wouldn't hurt, we could always start again tomorrow... They are normal..FOR AN ALCOHOLIC.
I know I've already shared this with you, but I still miss one of my old friends. She is hard-core alcoholic and has dropped me because she can no longer relate to the sober me. I still miss her...but that's just the way it's got to be.
I cannot drink again. Not ever. It will kill me if I let it.
You won't always find it this hard I promise you. We grow into sobriety..it starts to feel more and more comfortable the longer we are in it. And soon...those situations won't phase you at all.
Proud of you girl xxx
I think there is a temptation early on in sobriety to think that if we have thoughts of drinking, if we are close to caving, then that's a sign of failure. Maybe our resolve isn't strong enough?
That really isn't true. Of course we have thoughts...we might really want to drink, we might obsess over it a bit, try to convince ourselves that maybe we are not really alcoholic, that one wouldn't hurt, we could always start again tomorrow... They are normal..FOR AN ALCOHOLIC.
I know I've already shared this with you, but I still miss one of my old friends. She is hard-core alcoholic and has dropped me because she can no longer relate to the sober me. I still miss her...but that's just the way it's got to be.
I cannot drink again. Not ever. It will kill me if I let it.
You won't always find it this hard I promise you. We grow into sobriety..it starts to feel more and more comfortable the longer we are in it. And soon...those situations won't phase you at all.
Proud of you girl xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 19
Life will keep throwing you tests. Loved ones will die. Bad **** will keep happening. Our disease will keep trying us.
I celebrate you because you passed the first test!!!
It's easy to look at this as a negative but it's not. By not celebrating your ability to make a close call nothing more that you winning a battle is nothing but Satan trying to scare you with his big, bad and tough disease.
The next one will be tougher but you will have more sobriety behind you and will equipped to win that battle as well. Win it just like you did this first one.
You are strong and impressive!
I celebrate you because you passed the first test!!!
It's easy to look at this as a negative but it's not. By not celebrating your ability to make a close call nothing more that you winning a battle is nothing but Satan trying to scare you with his big, bad and tough disease.
The next one will be tougher but you will have more sobriety behind you and will equipped to win that battle as well. Win it just like you did this first one.
You are strong and impressive!
now get yer butt back to the games thread - it's your turn 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Hi Snoozy...big hugs first off.
Yes I too recall being shocked when an urge roared back like a tsunami. Because I was no longer having much urge when it came it was so tempting to want to go with it. I recall thinking it was back for a reason and I was supposed to try it. Stuff like that. Now I think that was all my Addictions Voice trying to gain a foothold. That voice is insidious and will always lie in wait inside me. But I am at peace with that fact now.
I think the key is to try hard not to be surprised when it comes and just detach like before. In September when I felt extreme stress I had strong thoughts of turning into a liquor store. I just kept driving around then finally thought I'd let those thoughts go too far in my brain and drove home and reached out. It was a big surprise to me but I took it as a sign of how stressed I was, and not that I was weak. I wasn't.
And neither are you. We mustn't confuse being VULNERABLE wifh being WEAK. They're not the same.
You are strong and your commitment won. A vow of sobriety... in good times and bad.
You're doing it!! Proud of you.
Yes I too recall being shocked when an urge roared back like a tsunami. Because I was no longer having much urge when it came it was so tempting to want to go with it. I recall thinking it was back for a reason and I was supposed to try it. Stuff like that. Now I think that was all my Addictions Voice trying to gain a foothold. That voice is insidious and will always lie in wait inside me. But I am at peace with that fact now.
I think the key is to try hard not to be surprised when it comes and just detach like before. In September when I felt extreme stress I had strong thoughts of turning into a liquor store. I just kept driving around then finally thought I'd let those thoughts go too far in my brain and drove home and reached out. It was a big surprise to me but I took it as a sign of how stressed I was, and not that I was weak. I wasn't.
And neither are you. We mustn't confuse being VULNERABLE wifh being WEAK. They're not the same.
You are strong and your commitment won. A vow of sobriety... in good times and bad.
You're doing it!! Proud of you.
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