icandoallthings

Am I being silly? I really think I would benefit from AA. I want to check one out. There are at least 5 within a reasonable distance from me. I'm so afraid I am going to run into someone I know though. I live in a pretty small town and I know quite a few people through parent groups, church, kids' school, etc. I am just terrified that I'll run into someone I know. I love the idea of anonymity at first but I have this terrible vision of someone making a b-line across the room because they recognize me and then wanting to discuss me. Is that reasonable?

22NGONE

Hi, I think everyone is nervous before their first meeting.... but don't let that stop you. I think you will find it was well worth attending. If it's a discussion meeting and it comes your turn just say you'd just like to listen tonight and pass if you are not comfortable speaking. I was so glad I went to my first meeting because it made me realize I was not alone and it gave me a lot of hope. Good luck!

ScottFromWI

It's a reasonable fear if you've never been to a meeting before, but it is not a warranted fear. Everyone at an AA meeting is there for the same reason you would be going - to find support to quit drinking.

Think of it this way - is it more important for you to worry about what people might think of you, or is it more important to you go get sober?

Razorback

You could always go farther afield the first time -- but no drinking driving! Also, every meeting is different, so you might try a few. Remember, they're not just seeing you, you're also seeing them! That's why it's anonymous.

There are other recovery groups too:
SMART Recovery
SOS (Secular Orgs for Sobriety)
Lifering
Women for Sobriety

As well as many online resources like this one.

icandoallthings

Thanks Scott It is absolutely most important to me to get sober. And it's not even concern about what people think of me. I don't think I mind if people know I go to AA, I just want time to soak it all in. I'm sure you're right.

ScottFromWI

You don't have to say a word. I am not a regular AA participant, but you are under no obligation to do anyting other than sit an listen. If you think it would help you there is absolutely nothing to lose by just going and checking it out.

icandoallthings

Thanks Razorback. I was looking at that too. I think that is what I will do.

As for drinking and driving, no worries there. Never done it, never would. I'm actually sober cab 99% of the time. My problem is the last two hours before bed, when I'm at home.

Quinne

I was exactly the same! I'd go to meetings and not worry so much who would see me in a meeting, but who would see me going into one! I had to realise my drinking was public enough anyway and most other people in my life knew I was an alcoholic before I did-moreover, i've been very fortunate that everyone in my life has wholeheartedly supported my decision I think ScottfromWI is right on the money What I found was once my focus was drawn away from projection and mind-reading, I was better able to listen to the people that helped save my life Hope that helps!

Xx

Twinings

I was hesitant before my first meeting, altho I go to SMART
It is absolutely been for the best. it's an enormous help, and I was a lil apprehensive of seeing someone I know too, but now if that happened it wouldn't bother me... we'd both be there for the same reason, and even if we haven't told mutual friends about our problem, there can't be any judgement or shame when your in the same boat!

PaleMale

I tried to quit alone with only SR. Let's just say, as great as SR is, I count my first day sober as the same day of my first AA meeting, horrific hangover, puffy face, tears and everything! The process has been one of the best experiences of my life, and no one tried to convert me to whatever!

Just go! It's incredibly powerful to raise your hand and say, "Hi, I'm an alcoholic, this is my first meeting."

icandoallthings

Really?! That's shocking to hear PaleMale. "Incredibly powerful" surprises me.

IOAA2

For me it was like a great weight being lifted from my shoulders, the beginning of me being honest about MY drinking problem. I chuckle about going to distant meetings as I've so often heard people doing that and ending up where their townspeople are also.

I would strongly suggest going to all local meetings several time so as to get a "feel" for them. Sometimes a meeting can be a turnoff one week then the next be great.

BE WELL

icandoallthings

LOL IOAA2. That IS funny I really am laughing at myself now. The whole town of Lakeville is probably at Burnsville, and the whole town of Burnsville is probably driving over to Bloomington...

MIRecovery

Powerful is the right word. AA has made a bigger difference in my life than anything else I've ever experienced. Stopping drinking was only the first step in a lifetime of recovery.

If you are worried at all go to a closed meeting which means only people that have a problem alcohol are attending

least

Go to several different meetings to find the ones you really like. They are all different. Some are 'open' (anyone can come), others are 'closed' (only for alcoholics). Just choose one to start with and take the leap.

tomsteve

welp, if ya don't go, yer gonna have to change yer usename.

Carlotta

Would wearing one of those help?
Seriously, give it a shot. I love my AA home group and it has been invaluable to my recovery. In the interim, why don't you join us at the 24 hours club where we commit not to drink or drug for the next 24 hours? Before you know it, all those 24 hours do pile up
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oin-us-13.html

soberhawk

Thx. carlotta - gave me a laugh before bedtime here.

IOAA2

Many people do as a choice visit meetings outside their "normal" meeting area also. Sometimes I'll go 15-20 miles for a change of pace and I have probably 50+ meetings within 5-8 miles. People have different fears before investigation. I met, at my first meeting, someone I knew for years who was a great person that I never knew was in AA and who's house, after he retired, became the drop in center for men and women as he was so admired and loved so much.


BE WELL

icandoallthings

Haha Tomsteve! Very good point

I have another question if ya'll don't mind...I've been going thru all the AA pamphlets online and can't find anything on etiquette. I see there will be a meeting tomorrow night and I will be dropping my daughter off at an activity near there. However, the meeting starts at 7 and I can't drop her off until 7:15, but then I have to pick her up at 8. Is it a set length of time usually? Would it be rude to show up late?