Hello I am new here
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Massillon, Ohio
Posts: 387
Hello I am new here
Hello,
This is my first time posting a message. My name is shana. My dad is my alcoholic and I have been to 19 Al-Anon meetings now but I Am only 18 years old. I am the youngest in my group and i gave a lead at my 18 meeting. I love my dad but I do not know how to detach with love right now. How do I love my dad but hate him at the same time.
Shana
This is my first time posting a message. My name is shana. My dad is my alcoholic and I have been to 19 Al-Anon meetings now but I Am only 18 years old. I am the youngest in my group and i gave a lead at my 18 meeting. I love my dad but I do not know how to detach with love right now. How do I love my dad but hate him at the same time.
Shana
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hey Shana,
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
My mom and my ex-husband are alcoholics. I know what it's like to grow up with a parent who's an alcoholic.
I'm sure that you love your Dad very much.
What you're hating is the disease he has.
For me, detachment with love is letting the alcoholic go so they can find their own way.
It's taking your hands off of problems that never belonged to you anyway.
And it's freeing yourself up so that you can find a way to be happy and enjoy life in spite of their drinking problem.
I'm glad you joined us, stick around.
Gabe
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
My mom and my ex-husband are alcoholics. I know what it's like to grow up with a parent who's an alcoholic.
I'm sure that you love your Dad very much.
What you're hating is the disease he has.
For me, detachment with love is letting the alcoholic go so they can find their own way.
It's taking your hands off of problems that never belonged to you anyway.
And it's freeing yourself up so that you can find a way to be happy and enjoy life in spite of their drinking problem.
I'm glad you joined us, stick around.
Gabe
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Hi Shana
Welcome to SR... You can get alot of support and understanding here.
Try posting a thread in the Al-Anon Forum. You will get a more direct response to your questions. I am an alcoholic and know all to clearly how we can make other peoples life so difficult.
Glad you are here...
Welcome to SR... You can get alot of support and understanding here.
Try posting a thread in the Al-Anon Forum. You will get a more direct response to your questions. I am an alcoholic and know all to clearly how we can make other peoples life so difficult.
Glad you are here...
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Somewhere between here & there
Posts: 9
Hi Shana,
Welcome!
I too grew up with an alcoholic father - first my natural father and then my step- father.
I too hated them when they were drinking and hated my natural father for a much longer time after he stopped drinking.
What I had to remember was that he did the best he could with what he had. He did not drink to make my life miserable. He is an alcoholic. He is a work in progress and so am I!
Keep going to Al-Anon meetings and don't worry about being the youngest one there. You're Experience, Strengh, and Hope is welcome and needed by the other people around the table.
Welcome!
I too grew up with an alcoholic father - first my natural father and then my step- father.
I too hated them when they were drinking and hated my natural father for a much longer time after he stopped drinking.
What I had to remember was that he did the best he could with what he had. He did not drink to make my life miserable. He is an alcoholic. He is a work in progress and so am I!
Keep going to Al-Anon meetings and don't worry about being the youngest one there. You're Experience, Strengh, and Hope is welcome and needed by the other people around the table.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Massillon, Ohio
Posts: 387
CAdrmn,
Thanks, I know my dad is doing the best he can with what he has and so I Am. I like going to the meetings and it is a little easier being the youngest because they are learning from me too. Thanks.
Shana
Thanks, I know my dad is doing the best he can with what he has and so I Am. I like going to the meetings and it is a little easier being the youngest because they are learning from me too. Thanks.
Shana
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Massillon, Ohio
Posts: 387
KelKel,
I am trying to hang in there for right now. I can't wait til tomorrow when I go to my Al-Anon meeting. I hope I can talk or comment about something but i will have to do it without my sponsor because she is on vacation. It will be okay. My dad is not drinking tonigh yet so I am doing okay but every day I react differently so who knows how I will react if he does start drinking again tonight. Thanks for caring.
Shana
I am trying to hang in there for right now. I can't wait til tomorrow when I go to my Al-Anon meeting. I hope I can talk or comment about something but i will have to do it without my sponsor because she is on vacation. It will be okay. My dad is not drinking tonigh yet so I am doing okay but every day I react differently so who knows how I will react if he does start drinking again tonight. Thanks for caring.
Shana
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: No where
Posts: 79
Shana
You give me inspiration. I hate going to meetings. My father was an A and my husband is a recovering A. I have only been to 4 meetings. When I get to 19 I hope I feel as good about going to them as you. Welcome!!
You give me inspiration. I hate going to meetings. My father was an A and my husband is a recovering A. I have only been to 4 meetings. When I get to 19 I hope I feel as good about going to them as you. Welcome!!
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Massillon, Ohio
Posts: 387
ChillGal,
Thanks. Hang in there the meetings do get better. Just keep an open mind. Listen to what others say and if you want comment but only when you are ready. My group is really loving. You have not been going long so stick to it. It will get better and you will want to talk too. Keep your head up things do get better.
Shana
Thanks. Hang in there the meetings do get better. Just keep an open mind. Listen to what others say and if you want comment but only when you are ready. My group is really loving. You have not been going long so stick to it. It will get better and you will want to talk too. Keep your head up things do get better.
Shana
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
