Scared of hurting myself
Scared of hurting myself
I see no hope anymore. When I drink at least I can joke and relax. Nothing I do is right and I hate being all alone in a town i do not know. My life is empty, and I feel like sleeping forever and never waking up. Nothing makes sense, I thought I could get over being rejected by a prof in grad school, I am too stupid to be good at anything. I want to die.
Feeling that is normal when we're trying to do something drastically different. When I feel like that, which I have a lot, believe me, I call a suicide hotline. The easiest one is 1-800-suicide - give them a call. Talking to a real live person will help, I promise.
For some of us recovery takes a while and there's many dark nights of the soul - but the morning is always better - I'm sure you've found that yourself Ach.
Drinking never makes anything better - if it did you would have never come to SR in the first place.
If you feel you may hurt yourself please do call 911 or any one of the crisis lines in here Ach
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
I'm out of the loop...are you still seeing some kind of Dr or counsellor? it might be good to call them too?
D
Drinking never makes anything better - if it did you would have never come to SR in the first place.
If you feel you may hurt yourself please do call 911 or any one of the crisis lines in here Ach
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
I'm out of the loop...are you still seeing some kind of Dr or counsellor? it might be good to call them too?
D
I read your other thread - I got rejected, burned and shot down by Professors too - unfortunately its a part of grad school Ach.
Don't internalise or catastrophise it. You are not what happens to you - you're more than that.
D
Don't internalise or catastrophise it. You are not what happens to you - you're more than that.
D
Yknow people only have the power you allow them. It's a hard thing to get your head around that concept to start with but I really think it would help you to put up some firm boundaries. You have to evaluate everything everyone says to you and then decide if your going to accept it as your truth or reject it as being their truth.
I completely understand how hard it is change this habit - you really must though. Look at the pain it causes you allowing all these people all this free reign in your head. Stop mind reading people because guess what? Your not psychic - how can you possibly know what they think? Truth is ach most people are too busy worrying about themselves and what others think of them to spend much time criticising you.
I completely understand how hard it is change this habit - you really must though. Look at the pain it causes you allowing all these people all this free reign in your head. Stop mind reading people because guess what? Your not psychic - how can you possibly know what they think? Truth is ach most people are too busy worrying about themselves and what others think of them to spend much time criticising you.
Your self talk is a big stumbling block for you but it doesn't have to be. Your being very unkind to yourself - you have your whole life to live being you. You need to love that person because that's where your safe haven should be. Within yourself. Your totally worth loving but you need to do the work.
Going to sleep now and praying. I want to stand up for myself. I hate school so maybe I should just leave. It will be good to get some rest. Wish I could talk to my mom, I have not spoken to her in six years.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,062
Get some rest Ach.
You can do this!!! One professors opinion means nothing in the large scope of life. Just take what you need and leave the rest.
Get some sleep and get back on it tomorrow. Did you eat something today?
You can do this!!! One professors opinion means nothing in the large scope of life. Just take what you need and leave the rest.
Get some sleep and get back on it tomorrow. Did you eat something today?
Yes I just wish I could start to feel better without the drops in mood. I hate graduate school, I have never felt this bad about myself before, I don't know what I did wrong. Tomorrow I start day 25. Crying helps a little, and I just went for a long walk because I couldn't sleep.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,462
You may hate school, but just remember you are there bettering your education. When you're done, you'll be in a much better position career-wise.
Quitting drinking is hard, but try to think about what you have going for you. Focus on school, get all A's. Anything to preoccupy your mind from drinking.
Quitting drinking is hard, but try to think about what you have going for you. Focus on school, get all A's. Anything to preoccupy your mind from drinking.
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