Acheleus

I see no hope anymore. When I drink at least I can joke and relax. Nothing I do is right and I hate being all alone in a town i do not know. My life is empty, and I feel like sleeping forever and never waking up. Nothing makes sense, I thought I could get over being rejected by a prof in grad school, I am too stupid to be good at anything. I want to die.

ScottFromWI

Call 911. They will direct you to a suicide hotline.

ovrock

No you don't You want to live!!! You want to be happy and healthy... You want to love and be loved. You want to be successful...

Take the step...

JadeSatellite

Feeling that is normal when we're trying to do something drastically different. When I feel like that, which I have a lot, believe me, I call a suicide hotline. The easiest one is 1-800-suicide - give them a call. Talking to a real live person will help, I promise.

Dollyangel17

Ach...I hope you get through this, and we all have worth! Scott is right....call someone at the hotline.

Dee74

For some of us recovery takes a while and there's many dark nights of the soul - but the morning is always better - I'm sure you've found that yourself Ach.

Drinking never makes anything better - if it did you would have never come to SR in the first place.

If you feel you may hurt yourself please do call 911 or any one of the crisis lines in here Ach

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

I'm out of the loop...are you still seeing some kind of Dr or counsellor? it might be good to call them too?

D

Hevyn

Ach, We are all with you and we care. Please seek help - you are needed.

Dee74

I read your other thread - I got rejected, burned and shot down by Professors too - unfortunately its a part of grad school Ach.

Don't internalise or catastrophise it. You are not what happens to you - you're more than that.

D

13unluckyforsom

Yknow people only have the power you allow them. It's a hard thing to get your head around that concept to start with but I really think it would help you to put up some firm boundaries. You have to evaluate everything everyone says to you and then decide if your going to accept it as your truth or reject it as being their truth.

I completely understand how hard it is change this habit - you really must though. Look at the pain it causes you allowing all these people all this free reign in your head. Stop mind reading people because guess what? Your not psychic - how can you possibly know what they think? Truth is ach most people are too busy worrying about themselves and what others think of them to spend much time criticising you.

13unluckyforsom

Your self talk is a big stumbling block for you but it doesn't have to be. Your being very unkind to yourself - you have your whole life to live being you. You need to love that person because that's where your safe haven should be. Within yourself. Your totally worth loving but you need to do the work.

quitforme79

Thinking of you ach and sending positive thoughts and love your way. I have been where you are...please call someone.

ZeldaFan

Ach, I'm sending positive thoughts your way! We are all here for you and I do hope you talk to someone if you need it.

InsaneHeart

I hope you picked up the phone Ach! You are important and need to live.

This too shall pass!

JadeSatellite

Maybe even a session or two with the school counselor about your feelings about the professor and how to combat those negative ones. Trust me, they will have heard this before.

Acheleus

Going to sleep now and praying. I want to stand up for myself. I hate school so maybe I should just leave. It will be good to get some rest. Wish I could talk to my mom, I have not spoken to her in six years.

Kat60

Get some rest Ach.
You can do this!!! One professors opinion means nothing in the large scope of life. Just take what you need and leave the rest.
Get some sleep and get back on it tomorrow. Did you eat something today?

Acheleus

Yes I just wish I could start to feel better without the drops in mood. I hate graduate school, I have never felt this bad about myself before, I don't know what I did wrong. Tomorrow I start day 25. Crying helps a little, and I just went for a long walk because I couldn't sleep.

Mirage74

You may hate school, but just remember you are there bettering your education. When you're done, you'll be in a much better position career-wise.

Quitting drinking is hard, but try to think about what you have going for you. Focus on school, get all A's. Anything to preoccupy your mind from drinking.

Acheleus

I can't think. Don't know if it's the meds or what. I just am foggy and unmotivated. Food sounds good. God I wish I felt good about myself. It sucks to be made to feel dumb.

GotGrace

I am praying for you tonight, Ach.