cryingbuddha77

Well, I had a really good thing going, 75 days of wonderful sobriety. And then I had a slip last night. Had a couple beers, then a couple more, then about a half a bottle of wine. I beat myself up good about it this morning and then had a long talk with my husband. I know why I made the decision to drink, I was angry and lonely and sad. The talk helped and I'm more committed than ever to move forward, make it a slip and not a relapse. I absolutely love being sober and it is amazing to me that I have the power to make that choice every day. I do not have to live in misery and pain and fear. I cast off my shackles and I'm movin' on already!

ScottFromWI

Glad you are back CB - learn from your mistakes. Are you using any formal support or recovery method to help you along?

cryingbuddha77

I'm in therapy once a week, but not going to AA or anything. I keep thinking about it, I should probably go...

afloatsober

Probably wont keep you sober!
Go........
G

hayley86

Glad you are back here posting. Hopefully you can find an alternative way to cope with these emotions without picking up a drink. Keep moving forward. Best wishes.

deeker

AA good stuff! Come back to the 24 club CB77

cryingbuddha77

Well I guess I'm a little more upset about this than I thought. I've been sitting in bed all morning doing a lot of self loathing and crying. I'm going to get up and take a shower and go meet my husband for lunch. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and before I know it I'll have more time under my belt. I so badly did not want this to be part of my story. I really didn't want to slip like that, I feel so ****** about it. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I just feel pretty ******. But I can feel ****** and be sober I guess. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

HeadLump

Tomorrow WILL be better, CB Remember how you feel now and re-run that feeling whenever you're tempted again. Self-loathing definitely won't help, but renewing your resolve and getting straight back on it should - and posting here, of course

cryingbuddha77

Thanks everyone for the support. It really does help. Well I met my husband for lunch and we had a good heart to heart. He's so supportive of me, I'm very fortunate. Then I went over and signed up me and my son at the YMCA. I'm going to get back into weight lifting, it used to make me feel really good and I think right now I need something to help boost my confidence. I also need healthy activities to keep me busy. I've always been good at working on my physical self, not so good at my emotional self. I have a lot of deep seated emotional pain and sadness that I need to deal with, hence the therapy. Mostly we've been working on my anxiety though, which is a big issue. Another reason I drank. Fear of being alone, fear of dying, fear of being a bad mother....I just don't want to feel so afraid all the time. So yeah, lots of work to do. I suppose I shall also find a meeting.

I guess if I have to be back at day 1 it's up to me to make it the best day 1 yet.

DoubleDragons

Don't discount the 75 days that you stayed sober! They mean something. They have shown you that you are strong and capable. Focus on that thought! )

serious

excellent attitude... way to go!

doggonecarl

I had a lot of anxiety and fears...but for some reason I didn't fear being a drunk and a drug addict. Go figure. Made me think, if my addiction was stronger than my anxiety and fear, my sobriety could be too. And I have discovered it was.

Yes, there is some anxiety, and some fear. But I face it sober. You can too.