cdonaldson

Hi

I am 23 years old. It's taken me several years to realise that I am an alcoholic, I'm still finding it hard to believe. I drink because I'm a shy person and it gives me confidence that I never knew I had. I get anxiety regularly and drinking seems to ease the feeling. I know I have to give up but I enjoy drinking? I feel so bored not drinking. Am I just a boring person? I'm very confused. I have my hens night coming up which involves alcohol, my wedding where there is free alcohol, all these big events coming up and I don't feel like I can have fun without alcohol. The affects of alcohol for me are awful, I've been in hospital twice, once due to DUI and once for getting bashed due to being over confident when drunk. I hate who I become but I feel like its the only way to have fun and interact with people. I don't drink everyday but when I pick up a drink, I can't stop. What can I do when I'm surrounded by friends that drink? Upcoming events which involve alcohol? Will I ever enjoy life not drinking or should I just continue since its easier?

Tamerua

I was the same way, if I had one, I may as well have had 12 or 20. There was no stopping me.
I think it's easier to quit and surround yourself with people who don't drink. Do you have a plan in place on how to quit and stay quit?

cdonaldson

I've never known anyone that doesn't drink. I have no idea how to put a plan in place as everyone I know socially drinks. Thoughts?

cdonaldson

I am socially awkward without alcohol, I feel that ppl feel awkward around me when I don't drink as we'll..

Spinach

Hello, you know the way forward but you've yet to realise your not boring . If you can be fun drunk you can be fun sober you just don't have to get DUI's beaten when your not being aware . You've picked a great time, your hen do might be ,difficult but many people don't drink on there wedding day so they won't regret and remember the day.
Keep in touch here it is one of the internets greatest applications and it works or has for me after 30 years of drinking , remember your choosing a great time to start a sober journey.
John.

cdonaldson

Thank you John.

I want to do this while I'm still young, I know I can, I hope I can.

Croissant

Yes, you can do it!

Will your new husband support you?

Kristin Davis, who played Charlotte in Sex in the City freely admits to being a recovering alcoholic and gave up alcohol at 22. It is possible!

Tamerua

CD, for me, I use AA and work with a sponsor. There are other recovery methods too like Rational Recovery and SMART, you can find info in the alcoholism section. I agree you have to find a way to not think you're boring. Getting drunk and making a spectacle of myself got really boring for other people.

You're in the right place.

liberated

YOU CAN! There are MANY of us (myself included) that wishes we had quit so much younger!

Tang

The fact you are realizing it so young is a testament to your character. Quitting when your family and social circles are all heavy drinkers is a tough road, but others on here can vouch for having done it. Also, I believe alcohol only intensifies anxiety.

I too have used alcohol to come out of my shell. Being a natural introvert, I identified alcohol at an early age as being a social elixir. I'm at a point where it makes me sick everyone around me HAS to drink to have a good time.

I think you are articulating what a lot of other people have thought as well. Alcohol is a pandemic in my eyes.

cdonaldson

Thank you all for your support. I attended my first AA meeting yesterday and will continue to go everyday. My husband to be is very supportive as he's not a heavy drinker. We're going to a function this weekend and have both agreed to have tea and go straight home and not have 1 drink. I know I can do this. Thanks again

least

to SR! I'm glad your husband to be is supportive. That helps a lot. As to social outings, be sure to have a (non alcoholic) drink in your hand. That keeps people from wanting to "get you a drink".


You won't regret getting sober. It's worth it.

cdonaldson

Good idea!! I have friends that constantly say "come on, one won't hurt".

Commence as you wish to proceed

serious

if you were to survey people on this board, i bet most of them shared all of your concerns at one point in time.

you are very young and you have your whole life ahead of you.

alcohol creates an illusion of fun. there is a million things to do without having to resolve to drinking.
if you lack confidence try a boxing class? or start a serious exercise program.
i'm truly glad you are making this choice now in your life.
learn about nutrition and healthy lifestyle.
take yoga classes.

... and if you keep searching for the answer in the bottle of alcohol, you'll probably find one... but it will be a fake and disastrous answer. please don't get to that point.
life is meant to be lived sober. try and give it a chance.

Aiko

Hi C

Do not worry just get your free alcohol drink, and tell everybody it is your night and you can you what ever you like.
Sometimes when I dare go out I laugh seen people doing stupid things.
they do not realize...
You will get used to promise.
Just keep calm and enjoy the night, you will be the first HEN that does not vomit.
You can do it.
And the following day you will be fresh


Do you know the lucky you are you will enjoy your wedding fully awake,
and you will remember it with a smile.

You will not be pissed on one of the most important days of you life.
Congratulationssssss


You are lucky you have a supportive pre-husband.

I wish you the best in your coming new life....
sober and married and with a future in front of you.
All the Best

Tang

to Aiko's point, alcohol is one of the worst tools to build confidence. It lies to you, making you think you are stronger, but only creates long term shame and weakness. You'd be served better by starting An exercise regiment or even a martial arts class if you want to build confidence. At least this is one of the tools I'm relying on as I have to build this too.

Croissant

That's a great tip.

cdonaldson

I usually exercise on a daily basis and I find that exercise makes me feel wonderful although I haven't had the strength to do anything exciting the last few days. My anxiety is overwhelming.

flujays

Hi CD welcome to SR! I wish I had realised I had a problem when i was your age. I started out as a weekend binger then it became half a bottle of wine per night and over the last few years it has progressed to a bottle a night and a few beers. Please trust me when I say that you are not drinking normally or safely, but you already know that. It's great you have already been to AA, I went to my first meeting 2 days ago and I'm much, much older than you. I wish I had tried to get sober sooner, maybe it would have been easier. Hang around here, you will come to see by ready what others have to day and by going to AA, that there is nothing fun about drinking. I only have 3 days sober today, but I'm excited about my new life that awaits me and I'm actually looking forward to people finding out that I've chosen a healthier life that doesn't include alcohol. I fantasise about them trying to force me but me saying no... look forward to how good you will feel once you know you can do this by having done it. You will remember your hens night and your wedding day and not be a shameful mess trying to piece it all together the next day. Don't ruin the best day of your life, take it one day at a time and have good clean fun with it. All the best, we're here for you if you need us.

Anna

Increased anxiety is often a result of drinking. My anxiety level was through the roof when I was drinking.

Many of us have to make big lifestyle changes to stop drinking and stay sober. And, often that includes different activities and different friends. There is no way I would be sober if I was surrounding myself with people who were drinking.