Mentium

Was looking for posts from a relative newcomer and a bit of a regular of late, but they haven't posted for a few days and even their avatar has gone now. Got me thinking about the (literally!) hundreds of people who turn up full of good intentions, hope and even determination and then just disappear, some of them to go back to quite possibly deadly drinking again no doubt.

I'm not judging anyone. I know how tough it is to get real traction with this condition. A shame and a lesson in how serious this business really is.

SkyeSea

Mentium, the one good thing in people vanishing, is that once we've 'learned' that we have a problem, we can't 'unlearn' it and go back to care-free drinking.
I'm sure people who leave, will come back one day x

Kys

Thanks for this post

Mentium

This is so true. Someone at an AA meeting said the other night that when they were first trying to quit AA 'spoilt' getting drunk for them. Once you start looking at the issue it is never quite the same I fancy/

SkyeSea

I have to admit, that in the past, when I've heard of people relapsing, it's been like a trigger for me to have a drink too. Now I realise, that it's not a free pass after all and the withdrawals will be there just the same.
To be honest, it DID cross my mind this morning, but no way do I want to go through the first 5 days again x

Twinings

I signed up years and years ago, but I can't even remember what my username was and I had a different email I can't even access now to find out.
I stopped posting and spent a few years getting obliterated.

I don't plan on leaving again. But you're right the years after I was more conscious of my drinking and enjoyed it far less. Too much panic after.

duane1

Yes, it hurts when you see someone struggling that you feel you can make a connection with and the next thing you know, they are gone. A daily reminder of how powerful alcohol is when you are in the middle of it.

instant

I think re-registering is common. Recovery is a journey and not a destination- I used to think otherwise.

I tried many times and never really got started, promises I could not keep, other times I got started and faltered after some success. Today I am thankful to be over two years sober.

SkyeSea

Instant - 2 years is fantastic!! Well done I'm at a mere 3 weeks (this time) but really feel like I've learned a lot and have stayed sober over a few family problems this week, which in the past would have had me straight to the booze shop.
Really think I'm in with a chance this time

Toomutch

I was here for 2 years under the same name and managed to stay sober for 5 years. Perhaps if I would have checked in here regularly, helped others, and returned when I was thinking about drinking again, I wouldn't have relapsed.

Hopefully those who have come and gone will be back one day soon.

SkyeSea

Yeah, the main difference this time, is SR and also I'm planning a women's AA meeting on Saturday mornings. I'm pretty new to the city I'm living in and I think lonliness was a big trigger. Not easy to meet people once the kids have grown and youre not chatting at the school gates etc. x

Dee74

we're regularly getting around 1300 people a day now.

You can either look at that and think - aww man, only a handful of those stay....

or you can think about those who do stay, who do triumph and build new lives, and who stick around and pass that experience on....

or those who come back (and they do) weeks months... or even maybe years later.

There is hope here - and there are happy endings.
I think it's good to remember that

D

wakko

The longer I'm in recovery the more serious I take my recovery. I have seen a lot more failure that I have seen success. I believe recovery communities provide both positive and negative reinforcement. we see what works and fortunately what does not.

It is possible because I personally know at least 40 people that have 10 plus years of sobriety. These are my mentors my guides. I try to do with these people do and listen to their advice even though many times I don't like.

People with long-term sobriety have seen all of the combinations and permutations that the disease and life throw at them and managed to stay sober through some very traumatic times.

Giving back is a huge portion of my recovery but I am very selfish in my personal sobriety. I will never ever allow anything to come before my sobriety because without it I will have nothing.

aasharon90

I too use to wonder were folks went when I'd first
see them at meetings then they wouldn't return.
I often heard thru out the yrs. that many show
up with the desire to stop but to only return to
the insanity of the addiction.

Those that stop doing whatever it takes to learn
to stay sober a day at a time, go to any lengths,
simply so back out.

I wonder if others think that of me who haven't
seen me in my face to face meetings in a while.
But then, I needn't need to worry what others
think about me, because, I am doing whatever
I need to do to remain sober in a program of
recovery that is working well for me today.

No, im not gonna rest lightly on my recovery.
If I decide to do that then i'll revert back to
old thinking, old habits, then BOOM...!!! I may
find myself wondering down the liquor, "poison"
isle at Walmart loading up to drink myself into
oblivion. And at 23 yrs sober, one drink will
never be enough because when that little tiger
that has been asleep for 23 yrs. wakes up, he
wont be purring. He will be rip roaring, clawing
it's way out of me and destroying anything and
everything in it's path.

Total destruction then death.

Na, I think i'll remain right where I am, here
in SR or where ever I need to be to continue
passing on my own ESH- experiences, strengths
and hopes of what my life was and is like before,
during and after alcohol.

I may not share everyday here in SR, but im here
pretty much all the time, connected. This place, for
today, is my lifeline to living a happy, sober, honest
life in recovery.

Ruturn

I started this journey over 6 years ago. I joined the site I think about 5 years ago. I posted for the first time last week and I'm at day 9 today. Its a different journey for all of us. I wish I could have been one of the ones like my wife who said to herself in college "I don't really like where this is headed" and pretty much quit. I wish I could have been like some of the other people who got to where I was and then quickly saw the light and began making the needed changes and living in recovery. It took me getting to that desperate point where using alcohol was no longer an option and at the same time not using alcohol was no longer an option. Ending everything was becoming a serious option, because nothing I knew worked any more. It took that desperation for me to really be willing to change. I wish I could have hit it earlier, but I'm so grateful I did hit it.

Threshold

When I first signed up I was still drinking/using, hung around a while. Came back after a few months to "research" recovery programs. Talked to some people and got started in sobriety.

have had active and inactive times as far as SR goes over the years for all manner of reasons. I've seen many people here "disappear" for awhile and show up again. So, people who go missing aren't always "lost".

Ornithology

This has to be one of the largest and most active addiction forums on the internet. And with active participants in nearly every time zone, it is busy here 24/7. It is amazing to see how people here respond to someone posting for the first time with the word "help" in the subject line, or the way we all both give and get strength from each other.
This is an amazing place. Dee, thanks for keeping the place so tidy for us.

IOAA2

Excellent post about how it is as opposed to the softest easier way. I've got a good # of years also and see how easy it is to think the old thinking occasionally but was taught to think the matter through to the end, like I don't want to try to get sober again, nothing is guaranteed. BE WELL

phoebe64

Some people get sober and no longer post. I am still in touch with a member who is not active here, but is still sober, or was, last time we exchanged emails. She has been doing really well, and using tools she gained here, and outside of here. So, not all who disappear are back to drinking.

ImperfectlyMe

As of late I myself am going through a transition of pulling back a bit here. I have real life stuff I need to sort and work and rebuild. My sobriety is so solid that my need and priority to work on SR had lessened. That is not to say I've moved on or past SR just a new chapter. Where I make my life more fulfilled and happier.

SR will always be the tool that cemented my sobriety. But now that I'm strong enough it's time to venture out a bit. So if you don't see me around you can count on the fact it's NOT because I'm drinking its because I'm out enjoying my life!!!