Mirage74

Can anyone relate to this? Im on day 16 and Im feeling better. My productivity has already gone way up. Things I used to not worry about and neglect (because they interfered with my drinking) now have become really important and I worry about them. This relates to another thread I had where I talked about feeling like something was wrong. So I made a list of everything I am worried about and I came up with about 25 things.

My point is, I feel like I may be trying to overdo it. I worry about all this stuff and I can't really relax. And I know in the past when I felt this way I went and took a drink. I guess Im asking how long before you should jump in and start trying to fix everything you've messed up due to drinking. I guess there's a balance between staying sober while not running yourself ragged trying to clean everything up. Any thoughts?

Dee74

I really focused on not drinking for the first month...I figured all the other stuff AI had to fix would still be there, when I was ready to tackle it.

If you feel that you're putting your recovery at risk, why not leave the fixing for now?

D

pinkdog

Hi Mirage, I think your body is still adjusting. In sobriety, I just work on a couple issues at a time. As you get well and solve issues one at a time, it gets easier. Works for me. Very best wishes to you.

jaynie04

Hi Mirage. I had the same feeling right about where you are now. Alcohol is a depressant and I think a lot of us are used to operating in a slightly manic state and then bringing ourselves back into homeostasis by drinking. That becomes a recipe for disaster. If you imagine a straight line across a page as being even keeled and then imagine taking a pen and drawing peaks and valleys across that line I think a lot of us swing up and down a lot in early sobriety. I am sure you have heard the saying "easy does it".

For me it was important to realize that I was getting too hyped up and agitated. I was anxious to make up for lost time. However, I realized that that was setting me up to be in a precarious position. I chilled out and didn't ride that wave.

What I think happens at least for me is that those swings up and down aren't as wide and are less protracted. My operating range is starting to return to normal. Everyone has these states, they are much more pronounced in early sobriety. It helped me to understand what was happening so that when the loop swooped downwards into a slightly depressed state it wasn't such a shock, and it is definitely evening out. I mentioned in a thread about a month ago that I got rid of my yellow legal pad with all my lists, I was driving myself nuts. Anything that is urgent I remember, and if I don't I will figure it out. Learning to live sober is the biggest thing on my agenda right now.

Mirage74

Yea, that helps. I just need to focus on staying sober for now. Ill tackle things as they come. I am relaxed.

Flying4Life

Wow! I can really relate to your post. I push myself extremely hard too and it isn't healthy! I am fairly new to sobriety too but I think that for me it is so important to learn to deal with stress, frustration, and other difficult emotions without drinking. As I learn to do that I am pretty sure that I will gain the strength to tackle all the things that I have been neglecting.
My advice to you and myself is to remember to just take baby steps so that we don't crash and burn, this is a time to be gentle, kind, and loving towards ourselves. Even if we don't feel like we deserve it, we can just fake it for now lol

least

When I first got sober I wanted everything to be better all at once, right away. I couldn't wait for the peace of mind and the benefits of sobriety. I had to learn to live each day as tho it were the only day I had. I try living as my dogs do: in the moment. It helps me to just focus on today and not project too far into the future.

Mountainmanbob

for the one who is becoming sober

there will be much hard work needed ahead

best to take it all easy one day at a time

I have been sober 5 years and still have much to do
I try to do enough so as not to be lazy (hard for this retired guy)
but
I try to never over do it (who needs stress if sobriety)

Mountainman

MythOfSisyphus

If your trajectory was anything like mine was there will plenty of ups and downs for at least three to four months. I didn't really feel like I was physically and emotionally stabilized until a few months went by. The last symptom to fade was my anger; I found that I would get irrationally angry for little reason for the first few months.

I agree, don't try to fix your whole life this month! You probably worked for years to get into the mess you're in, so don't be surprised if digging out takes a while too! Rome wasn't built in a day.

Just be sober for now. The rest will come when it comes. Obviously if there's some genuine problem don't ignore it. But trust that your footing will become more sure with time.

GracieLou

"I WANT WHAT I WANT AND I WANT IT NOW"

Yes, I have been there. At first I wanted to jump in with all I had but I think we have to be careful. Jumping in to fast led me to burn out the first time. I was so busy concentrating on being sober I as not picking up any tools or guidance. It was rush, rush, rush.

This time I am taking my time. I am not procrastinating but I am taking the time to make sure each lesson/step sinks in.

It is a never ending journey. It is a new way of life. Just as the dieter cannot expect to lose 50 pounds in two weeks, neither can the recovering alcoholic. We did this for years. We can't expect to lose 50 pounds of resentments, anger, loathing, guilt etc in a couple weeks/months. We also have to remember that new stuff is always coming and thoughts are changing so that even slows it down some more.

Easy does it! One day at a time.

Marcher13

Mirage take Dee's advice and concentrate on your recovery for now. You'll find as you go on your mind will get sharper and clearer and it will be much easier to deal with your concerns. Let go of the anxiety to do everything AND recover and concentrate on simply your recovery and your health for now.

cardoon

That you are aware of how you're thinking/feeling is good. That you said you are relaxed is good. I've found patience is really important. Slow steady progress. Keep goin'!

Bebetter

You are working hard on not adding to that list, and that stasis is something to be proud of. I think making the list was a good idea and you have it now to get back to when you feel ready - maybe just put it away and focus on today, each moment, for now.

totfit

We really can't "fix" anything. All we can do is just do the next right thing and continue to move in a positive direction. We will begin to notice the thing that were broken from our past seem to have become repaired. Sometimes worrying about quick repair sets us up for failure and does more damage than good.

pattyj

We beat ourselves up about the past over and over and over again. It happened, let it go, and do it differently in the future if you need to. Be present in the moment and in sobriety and everything will work its way out. I'm at 5 months and things are working out to be the way they are meant to be. Good luck and relax. Sobriety and your health is number one. If you don't focus on that, then you may not be here to worry about anything else.

Deckard

If you are building a house, it is best not to skimp on the foundation. Everything else will depend upon it for lasting stability.

I recommend that you look at this time as foundation building.

Peter G

Thought that old (paraphrased) post from me could be somewhat relevant to the OP.

Bottom line is that we have to be sober a while and develop a patience and discipline of focus that remains solely inward, a focus on simply improving our own chances at remaining sober. Nothing should interrupt that focus and attention, not for quite a while.

That "time takes time" quote I just read here not long ago, it's so very true. We really must allow for all other worries and epiphanies of positive life changes to take place under a natural progression only, and not pushed forward by the newly excitable and hopeful purview of a suddenly clear and rational mind. All of this new-found clarity of purpose we gain in early sobriety remains a tenuous grasp, no matter how much confidence we feel. Our sobriety requires ALL of the attention we can muster, at least until it's strong enough to survive us placing our internal spotlight on other concerns.

The hopeful life merely starts once the bottle is finally put down. After that initial 'shot out of the gate', there's a whole slew of time to be spent simply putting one foot in front of the other towards the finishing line, putting our own ducks in order, and concentrating on strengthening our relationship with sobriety. Even if that means literally ignoring outside concerns, it's the one thing I've found 100% necessary. And let's face it, without strong and uninterrupted sobriety, these outside concerns, i.e. your list of 25 things you'd like to attend? They won't benefit your input if the inevitable cost is your sobriety. Your on Day 16 only... revisit this confidence at MONTH 16 perhaps?

Only MHO, and if it's disagreeable I apologize. But my experience is that when I first tried sobriety, it was those "other" issues taking over the focus of my concerns which led me to complacency and false-confidence of my own grasp on sobriety, and not coincidentally, that process ended in a relapse.

ProgressNotPerfection

In A.A. there is an old saying: "Easy does it, but do it." - what you are going through is typical, common, normal and exciting all at the same time!