I'm in trouble
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 175
I'm in trouble
Hi everyone.
I am having a very hard time with alcohol abuse that has been going on for over 10 years, maybe closer to 20. Am feeling very alone, and I don't know how to break the cycle. I am trying so very hard, but generally can't be sober for three days in a row.
There's a lot of detail I could go about how close to ruined I am, and all the horrible things that my life entails presently but it's probably not appropriate.
I really don't know how to beat this and get my life on track. So maybe I'll join all those who are succeeding, and gain some insight into finding the strength to overcome this.
I am having a very hard time with alcohol abuse that has been going on for over 10 years, maybe closer to 20. Am feeling very alone, and I don't know how to break the cycle. I am trying so very hard, but generally can't be sober for three days in a row.
There's a lot of detail I could go about how close to ruined I am, and all the horrible things that my life entails presently but it's probably not appropriate.
I really don't know how to beat this and get my life on track. So maybe I'll join all those who are succeeding, and gain some insight into finding the strength to overcome this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 414
Welcome to SR, TKS!
Many of us have rebuilt our lives from the shambles they became as a result of our drinking.
If you feel like you are ready to stop the insanity, you can totally do it.
For me, AA and treatment were the key factors that helped me stay on the wagon this time. You might want to consider looking up a meeting in your area, as you will find others who have been where you are and can give you face-to-face support.
You will find a lot of experience, strength, and hope here on these forums. I encourage you to stick around, read, post, and let us know how we can help. Good luck!
Many of us have rebuilt our lives from the shambles they became as a result of our drinking.
If you feel like you are ready to stop the insanity, you can totally do it.
For me, AA and treatment were the key factors that helped me stay on the wagon this time. You might want to consider looking up a meeting in your area, as you will find others who have been where you are and can give you face-to-face support.
You will find a lot of experience, strength, and hope here on these forums. I encourage you to stick around, read, post, and let us know how we can help. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Hi TKS, and welcome!! Many of us have been there and you are most certainly not alone. Most of us have tried for many years to break the cycle and know just how hard it can be. I drank for about 18 years, alcoholically for at least ten of those. I tried dozens of times to moderate and stop and could barely string together three days myself.
There are as many paths to recovery as there are to what led you here. You'll find lots of advice and support here. I have and am now sober nearly six months.
And please never worry about being appropriate or inappropriate. Share as much or as little as you like---you will find very little judgement here.
Welcome again and so very glad to have you!!
There are as many paths to recovery as there are to what led you here. You'll find lots of advice and support here. I have and am now sober nearly six months.
And please never worry about being appropriate or inappropriate. Share as much or as little as you like---you will find very little judgement here.
Welcome again and so very glad to have you!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome TKS 
you'll read a lot of success stories here, and see a lot of approaches at work. My advice is to find one that makes sense to you - and go for it
SR helped me turn my life around after 20 years of boozing - I know you can find that same kind of help
D
you'll read a lot of success stories here, and see a lot of approaches at work. My advice is to find one that makes sense to you - and go for it
SR helped me turn my life around after 20 years of boozing - I know you can find that same kind of help
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 291
TKS,
want to add my welcome, I am new here also, 6 days free of alcohol. this is a FANTASTIC place to come and join others who are striving in the same direction you are....I look forward to hearing more from you.
Trish
want to add my welcome, I am new here also, 6 days free of alcohol. this is a FANTASTIC place to come and join others who are striving in the same direction you are....I look forward to hearing more from you.
Trish
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
TKS wrote: "So maybe I'll join all those who are succeeding, and gain some insight into finding the strength to overcome this."
You must be feeling quite alone right now. In view of that I suggest that the first priority should be that you have us, all here to help you on SR. And we hope that you can find other recovering alcoholics in your community who will be there to help you, not to judge you. That certainly helped me. Seek them out. Shake them by the hand. Get their telephone numbers. Confide in them to the extent you think wise. And go it one day at a time. That's all you have to do.
W.
You must be feeling quite alone right now. In view of that I suggest that the first priority should be that you have us, all here to help you on SR. And we hope that you can find other recovering alcoholics in your community who will be there to help you, not to judge you. That certainly helped me. Seek them out. Shake them by the hand. Get their telephone numbers. Confide in them to the extent you think wise. And go it one day at a time. That's all you have to do.
W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 175
Thank you everyone, I hope some of you will understand based on your experiences.
PS: And I'm especially touched wpainterw's post. I am not one for tears generally, but as I have written the entry below, I'm crying over how isolated and messed up I am right now. Your post has just got me started again.
Thank you, and I will try and turn to the group when I need some help. It's hard to accept help from strangers sometimes.
_________________________________________________
Maybe going into some detail will be therapeutic to get it off my chest. After reading other posts, this forum is remarkably judgement free (well, for the most part). If nothing else, maybe I can look at what I have written each day to remember how bad it's become. There are also things that I think I will say here that I cannot say to anyone else. Ugly stuff.
I have been binge drinking for many years, around 3 or 4 times a week. The past year its been pretty much every second day. I just did a quick calculation, and my sessions are anywhere from 20 to 30 drinks per night, usually at home, alone. Time & time again, I will get into a project (I compose music as a hobby) and having some wine seems to be associated with the process. Just one bottle.... which becomes a trip back to the store for some bourbon. Nearing midnight (when liquor stores close in my state),I'll rush to the next suburb to grab ore bourbon. It's never, ever, just going to be a few drinks for me, no matter how conscious I am of the likely outcome.
In the past, I have fallen over about six times and had serious head damage. I fell down a flight of stairs once, got up with a sprained ankle and proceed to collapse into a porcelain basin, drawing blood and a lengthy concussion. Another time I fell out of a bar, hit a steel rail with my face and ended up with 11 stitches across my nose and four above the eye. While this hasn't happened for quite a long time, I recall these instances as I write because I just discovered a sizable lump on my forehead. I have no recollection of how this came to be.
When I am on the booze I smoke cigarettes heavily, and it's common for me to go through two packs of 25 in a night. You can imagine what that must do to the human body.
While I am not addicted to any illicit drugs (although I do enjoy the occasional experience), of late I have been accompanying my drinking sessions with a pure powdered synthetic cannabinoid. The combination has brought on memory loss, where entire aspects of what I have done are forgotten. I had in my possession about five grams, which is literally thousands of 'highs', in other-words, a lifetime supply. That went down the drain a few days ago, every last milligram, and washed down the sinkhole with bourbon. No more, this time I meant it.
And guess what ? Since a few days ago, another 'one bottle of wine' turned into a 30 drink bender. I'll often supplement this with phone calls to random acquaintances who really don't want to speak to me (I decided to delete them all from my contacts list, to avoid humiliating myself any further), or go out to a bar and blow big money on pokies (slot machines to our US readers).
I have missed work so often through my life that I'm nowhere in any career, and I recently lost my job, due to continued absence. I'm $60,000 in debt, and about to file for bankruptcy before the sheriff arrives to take what few possessions I have. My partner of almost six years moved out of here and out of my life two months ago because of my hostile, detached personality, and lack of physical intimacy. Can't say I blame her, I have been such an *******. No disloyalty, no physical violence, nor any deception. Just me being a bad person. And here's a new twist in my life. Despite my debts, my joblessness and wondering where my next rent money will come from, I have started visiting prostitutes. Until two weeks ago, I have not done this sort of thing. It's not really ever appealed to me. Now I have don it, I don't even enjoy it. There's no intercourse with these girls, because, well I'll just come out and say it.... The booze has also brought about serious erectile dysfunction ! It's a waste of time, money, and sits quite uncomfortably with me to be doing such things. I don't know why I'm doing it, but I think it's because I miss the closeness of my partner and am trying to substitute it with another female form close to me. Alas, its not working without any emotion involved. I'm so stupid.
I am not very close to my family, only having a mother who lives far away, and a sister who has only recently recommenced contact after 8 years of refusing to talk to me (booze related misconduct on my part) I have pushed people away for so long that I have only one person who I would call a friend, but he never wants to hang out anymore, and is in a state of his own boozy depression. My former partner is gone, so I really truly have no one. I'm not good with people, as I don't follow mainstream conventions of sport, television, media etc, so have little in common with others. Making new friends just doesn't happen.
I am finding the AA steps very difficult to accept, although I have not been to any meetings. (Actually I went to a GA meet about 20 years ago) I know this isn't the place to discuss why, so perhaps I'll reserve that discussion for later, elsewhere, in the interests of respecting the forum rules. But I recently enrolled in a buddhism & meditation course, mostly for the meditation aspect rather than the theology behind it, because I really need to stop the chatter in my mind. While it may not be the key to staying sober, I think it will certainly help. But of course I stopped attending after getting drunk instead of making my way to the centre. Wanting to do a few drop in classes over the past week, had everything planned out, a class every day at various centres. Alas, I was either too drunk or too hungover.
During December I stayed sober for about a month, including over xmas with my partner & friend (we self medicated with something else instead) but it was very hard. I went into the 'one or two good quality beers' frome of mind and that actually worked. For about two weeks. Since then it seems that I'm going harder than ever. This 2012 abstinence was the first time I have seen sober for that long, apart from when I spent 3 months in a dry country in around 1995.... Jeez, even in the rugged hills of Northern Pakistan I did still find some booze at one stage, when I started looking for it on the black market.
I was also a home craft brewer, and had won several awards in my state for my own recipes made from scratch. One of the biggest decisions was to sell all my grain stocks, about 40kgs, about 3kgs of hops, four fermenters, pots, hoses, everything else related to brewing including books, my collection of European glasses, several hundred bottles and more. I really loved the creativity of brewing, and being recognized formally as creating the best beers in a category for several years so it was hard to give up, but If I wasn't drinking, I sure as heck couldn't keep brewing. The gear all gone, the burden lifted... until I started drinking again. Then I just wished I could be brewing again.
There are interests that I have, and projects that are on the backburner because I can't get myself together for long enough. I went to build some electronic equipment. I have a growing interest in the science of mycology, and all the equipment. As mentioned earlier I make music for fun, often purely electronic but often with guitar and bass. On that last note, excuse the pun, when I was sober in December, my guitar playing skills increased dramatically. I'm still not much good, but markedly better, say twice as much, as I was previously.
That's some of my crappy life story to date.
Stuart
PS: And I'm especially touched wpainterw's post. I am not one for tears generally, but as I have written the entry below, I'm crying over how isolated and messed up I am right now. Your post has just got me started again.
Thank you, and I will try and turn to the group when I need some help. It's hard to accept help from strangers sometimes.
_________________________________________________
Maybe going into some detail will be therapeutic to get it off my chest. After reading other posts, this forum is remarkably judgement free (well, for the most part). If nothing else, maybe I can look at what I have written each day to remember how bad it's become. There are also things that I think I will say here that I cannot say to anyone else. Ugly stuff.
I have been binge drinking for many years, around 3 or 4 times a week. The past year its been pretty much every second day. I just did a quick calculation, and my sessions are anywhere from 20 to 30 drinks per night, usually at home, alone. Time & time again, I will get into a project (I compose music as a hobby) and having some wine seems to be associated with the process. Just one bottle.... which becomes a trip back to the store for some bourbon. Nearing midnight (when liquor stores close in my state),I'll rush to the next suburb to grab ore bourbon. It's never, ever, just going to be a few drinks for me, no matter how conscious I am of the likely outcome.
In the past, I have fallen over about six times and had serious head damage. I fell down a flight of stairs once, got up with a sprained ankle and proceed to collapse into a porcelain basin, drawing blood and a lengthy concussion. Another time I fell out of a bar, hit a steel rail with my face and ended up with 11 stitches across my nose and four above the eye. While this hasn't happened for quite a long time, I recall these instances as I write because I just discovered a sizable lump on my forehead. I have no recollection of how this came to be.
When I am on the booze I smoke cigarettes heavily, and it's common for me to go through two packs of 25 in a night. You can imagine what that must do to the human body.
While I am not addicted to any illicit drugs (although I do enjoy the occasional experience), of late I have been accompanying my drinking sessions with a pure powdered synthetic cannabinoid. The combination has brought on memory loss, where entire aspects of what I have done are forgotten. I had in my possession about five grams, which is literally thousands of 'highs', in other-words, a lifetime supply. That went down the drain a few days ago, every last milligram, and washed down the sinkhole with bourbon. No more, this time I meant it.
And guess what ? Since a few days ago, another 'one bottle of wine' turned into a 30 drink bender. I'll often supplement this with phone calls to random acquaintances who really don't want to speak to me (I decided to delete them all from my contacts list, to avoid humiliating myself any further), or go out to a bar and blow big money on pokies (slot machines to our US readers).
I have missed work so often through my life that I'm nowhere in any career, and I recently lost my job, due to continued absence. I'm $60,000 in debt, and about to file for bankruptcy before the sheriff arrives to take what few possessions I have. My partner of almost six years moved out of here and out of my life two months ago because of my hostile, detached personality, and lack of physical intimacy. Can't say I blame her, I have been such an *******. No disloyalty, no physical violence, nor any deception. Just me being a bad person. And here's a new twist in my life. Despite my debts, my joblessness and wondering where my next rent money will come from, I have started visiting prostitutes. Until two weeks ago, I have not done this sort of thing. It's not really ever appealed to me. Now I have don it, I don't even enjoy it. There's no intercourse with these girls, because, well I'll just come out and say it.... The booze has also brought about serious erectile dysfunction ! It's a waste of time, money, and sits quite uncomfortably with me to be doing such things. I don't know why I'm doing it, but I think it's because I miss the closeness of my partner and am trying to substitute it with another female form close to me. Alas, its not working without any emotion involved. I'm so stupid.
I am not very close to my family, only having a mother who lives far away, and a sister who has only recently recommenced contact after 8 years of refusing to talk to me (booze related misconduct on my part) I have pushed people away for so long that I have only one person who I would call a friend, but he never wants to hang out anymore, and is in a state of his own boozy depression. My former partner is gone, so I really truly have no one. I'm not good with people, as I don't follow mainstream conventions of sport, television, media etc, so have little in common with others. Making new friends just doesn't happen.
I am finding the AA steps very difficult to accept, although I have not been to any meetings. (Actually I went to a GA meet about 20 years ago) I know this isn't the place to discuss why, so perhaps I'll reserve that discussion for later, elsewhere, in the interests of respecting the forum rules. But I recently enrolled in a buddhism & meditation course, mostly for the meditation aspect rather than the theology behind it, because I really need to stop the chatter in my mind. While it may not be the key to staying sober, I think it will certainly help. But of course I stopped attending after getting drunk instead of making my way to the centre. Wanting to do a few drop in classes over the past week, had everything planned out, a class every day at various centres. Alas, I was either too drunk or too hungover.
During December I stayed sober for about a month, including over xmas with my partner & friend (we self medicated with something else instead) but it was very hard. I went into the 'one or two good quality beers' frome of mind and that actually worked. For about two weeks. Since then it seems that I'm going harder than ever. This 2012 abstinence was the first time I have seen sober for that long, apart from when I spent 3 months in a dry country in around 1995.... Jeez, even in the rugged hills of Northern Pakistan I did still find some booze at one stage, when I started looking for it on the black market.
I was also a home craft brewer, and had won several awards in my state for my own recipes made from scratch. One of the biggest decisions was to sell all my grain stocks, about 40kgs, about 3kgs of hops, four fermenters, pots, hoses, everything else related to brewing including books, my collection of European glasses, several hundred bottles and more. I really loved the creativity of brewing, and being recognized formally as creating the best beers in a category for several years so it was hard to give up, but If I wasn't drinking, I sure as heck couldn't keep brewing. The gear all gone, the burden lifted... until I started drinking again. Then I just wished I could be brewing again.
There are interests that I have, and projects that are on the backburner because I can't get myself together for long enough. I went to build some electronic equipment. I have a growing interest in the science of mycology, and all the equipment. As mentioned earlier I make music for fun, often purely electronic but often with guitar and bass. On that last note, excuse the pun, when I was sober in December, my guitar playing skills increased dramatically. I'm still not much good, but markedly better, say twice as much, as I was previously.
That's some of my crappy life story to date.
Stuart
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ireland.
Posts: 238
Hey tks,
Welcome onboard,
You have moved towards quitting booze by posting here, every move you make to put distance between you and the booze will stand to you. Get all the support you need & reach out when you have to,, I wish you the best on your journey.
Ando.
Ps,,, we just cross posted,,
Ando
Welcome onboard,
You have moved towards quitting booze by posting here, every move you make to put distance between you and the booze will stand to you. Get all the support you need & reach out when you have to,, I wish you the best on your journey.
Ando.
Ps,,, we just cross posted,,
Ando
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Hello TKS,
You are very definitely not alone, though I can understand the feeling. Many people here have found recovery and peace: some through AA or other 12 step programs, some through AVRT, some through simply getting support here, some through self-help books, some (like me) through a more religious approach, and some through other means. Have a look through the different parts of this forum and you can get advice and encouragement on all of these approaches. Think what approach you'd like to try and then commit to that, but don't be afraid to add to it if necessary. If you think AA might be useful but are struggling accepting the steps then the 12- step forum could be a place to discuss that (understanding that you'll encounter people with good reason for being enthusiastic about AA there). I very much relate to the 'mind chatter' problem - I have used meditation (Christian, in my case) to help deal with that. For me alcohol was a way to calm the mind. That was often a major motivation. I just used to over-shoot the mark rather a lot.
Most of us here have found total sobriety is the only solution. But now for me personally, I wouldn't go back to moderate drinking even if I could.
Here is one link I found useful. It is a very large collection of AA talks by people who have 'been there' (I'm not in AA myself, but have found the talks useful)...
XA-Speakers - The lights are on!
There is hope, and there is understanding and support here.
God bless +
Michael
You are very definitely not alone, though I can understand the feeling. Many people here have found recovery and peace: some through AA or other 12 step programs, some through AVRT, some through simply getting support here, some through self-help books, some (like me) through a more religious approach, and some through other means. Have a look through the different parts of this forum and you can get advice and encouragement on all of these approaches. Think what approach you'd like to try and then commit to that, but don't be afraid to add to it if necessary. If you think AA might be useful but are struggling accepting the steps then the 12- step forum could be a place to discuss that (understanding that you'll encounter people with good reason for being enthusiastic about AA there). I very much relate to the 'mind chatter' problem - I have used meditation (Christian, in my case) to help deal with that. For me alcohol was a way to calm the mind. That was often a major motivation. I just used to over-shoot the mark rather a lot.
Most of us here have found total sobriety is the only solution. But now for me personally, I wouldn't go back to moderate drinking even if I could.
Here is one link I found useful. It is a very large collection of AA talks by people who have 'been there' (I'm not in AA myself, but have found the talks useful)...
XA-Speakers - The lights are on!
There is hope, and there is understanding and support here.
God bless +
Michael
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Welcome TKS and thanks for sharing your story. I saw a piece's of mine in yours. I fell many times and only for dumb luck, I never seriously hurt myself. Lots of scrapes and bruises though. I also drank myself out of friends with only one drinking depressed friend left. We still talk but since I am sober I have a hard time relating to him. We never talk about anything deep, mostly work crap, so the relationship remains but stagnant.
You are not alone. Our stories may vary but in many way they are the same.
I think we all need to have some sort of recovery plan. If not AA then something. The first step is to stop drinking and I know that sounds so much easier than it is. For me, I need to take it one day at a time and not just the drinking. Everything. I know the last time I quit I wanted to be fixed now. I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it now.
I found when I got what I wanted it is what caused me to spiral quickly. I wanted to be left alone to drink and I was. It did not take long to fall off the cliff.
I chose AA. I am now four months sober and my life has changed. I honestly never wanted my life to change. I never saw past the bottle. The saying goes if nothing changes, then nothing changes. It is true. Now I like my life and I like me. I have a long way to go but it is far better than just existing like I was doing before.
This is a great place for support and information. Hang in there.
You are not alone. Our stories may vary but in many way they are the same.
I think we all need to have some sort of recovery plan. If not AA then something. The first step is to stop drinking and I know that sounds so much easier than it is. For me, I need to take it one day at a time and not just the drinking. Everything. I know the last time I quit I wanted to be fixed now. I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it now.
I found when I got what I wanted it is what caused me to spiral quickly. I wanted to be left alone to drink and I was. It did not take long to fall off the cliff.
I chose AA. I am now four months sober and my life has changed. I honestly never wanted my life to change. I never saw past the bottle. The saying goes if nothing changes, then nothing changes. It is true. Now I like my life and I like me. I have a long way to go but it is far better than just existing like I was doing before.
This is a great place for support and information. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Welcome and congrats on changing your life. I red your whole back story. I hope it was releasing for you to write it all down. Thank you for sharing your story as much as it helps you it helps others! Be well and keep us posted!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Clifton
Posts: 243
Welcome .. You are definitely not alone .. All you have to say here is help and post .. We care. I am on day 18 clean sober. I thought I could do it alone but have come to the conclusion that I was suffering more alone. I have chosen AA because it is an incredible support system, the meetings I have attended are very helpful because listening to others you can relate and know you are not alone. My advice to you is try to find a support system that fits you and wether it s posting here or meetings ... Alone is not for everyone and it hurts. Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 175
Thank you Michael, for a very thoughtful post, and addressing an approach for a non-Christian. Out of interest, how does Christian meditation differ from eastern, such as Hindu or Buddhist? I never considered meditation to be denomination specific. I'll peruse those broadcasts tomorrow also. There's an AA group within walking distance from my home on Tuesday evenings, and even if I can't maintain this path, it costs me nothing to give it a go. I have an inquiry about something else but I'll shift it to the appropriate subforum.
And I really appreciate everyone elses comments. Apologies if I cannot reply to each of you, I'm a bit upset right now, but it's all very supportive. I am quite amazed.
Day 1 starts tomorrow, Sunday 4th August. No more booze, and no more cigarettes.
And I really appreciate everyone elses comments. Apologies if I cannot reply to each of you, I'm a bit upset right now, but it's all very supportive. I am quite amazed.
Day 1 starts tomorrow, Sunday 4th August. No more booze, and no more cigarettes.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
It sounds like you have the quitting down, it's the staying quit that is eluding you. That part is a little more complicated (quitting is pretty straightforward -- "don't drink today .. if successful, repeat step one").
Do you know why you keep picking up again? Usually there's a time of day, or a trigger, or unwise trips to the bar on the third day of sobriety.. some moment that can be identified by analysis, anticipated, and ultimately avoided or coped with differently. Relapse without analysis is pretty tragic, that whole "those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it" thing.
Also, get support. That first week is lonely. There are almost always people in the chatroom here and the forum is active around the clock, so instead of drinking, come talk about how you're not drinking.
You can do it! It's uncomfortable at first, and it's a little frightening, but you can handle it (and it is totally worth the effort!).
Oh jeez, look at the time, have to get ready for Saturday work
Good luck!
Do you know why you keep picking up again? Usually there's a time of day, or a trigger, or unwise trips to the bar on the third day of sobriety.. some moment that can be identified by analysis, anticipated, and ultimately avoided or coped with differently. Relapse without analysis is pretty tragic, that whole "those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it" thing.
Also, get support. That first week is lonely. There are almost always people in the chatroom here and the forum is active around the clock, so instead of drinking, come talk about how you're not drinking.
You can do it! It's uncomfortable at first, and it's a little frightening, but you can handle it (and it is totally worth the effort!).
Oh jeez, look at the time, have to get ready for Saturday work
Good luck!
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Originally Posted by TKS 
Thank you Michael, for a very thoughtful post, and addressing an approach for a non-Christian. Out of interest, how does Christian meditation differ from eastern, such as Hindu or Buddhist? I never considered meditation to be denomination specific. I'll peruse those broadcasts tomorrow also. There's an AA group within walking distance from my home on Tuesday evenings, and even if I can't maintain this path, it costs me nothing to give it a go. I have an inquiry about something else but I'll shift it to the appropriate subforum.
And I really appreciate everyone elses comments. Apologies if I cannot reply to each of you, I'm a bit upset right now, but it's all very supportive. I am quite amazed.
Day 1 starts tomorrow, Sunday 4th August. No more booze, and no more cigarettes.
And I really appreciate everyone elses comments. Apologies if I cannot reply to each of you, I'm a bit upset right now, but it's all very supportive. I am quite amazed.
Day 1 starts tomorrow, Sunday 4th August. No more booze, and no more cigarettes.
With Christian meditation there's a definite intent to bring ourselves into, as we believe, the loving presence of God. In Buddhist meditation there is more emphasis on kenosis, emptying of the mind. Hindi yogic meditation is perhaps between those two, encompassing a definite awareness of life forces, but not so much emphasis on the personal presence of God.
BTW, have you seen or read Life of Pi? I like it when Pi is embracing Hinduism and Catholicism at the same time. He is asked how that makes sense and replies 'I get to feel guilty in front of lots of gods'
There's another rather sweet bit when he thanks the Hindu god Brahma for introducing him to Jesus. Sunday 4th August is a superb day for a day 1. I'd encourage you to hang around here when you can. Sign up for 24 hrs in the 24 hour club in the Newcomer's Daily Support Threads section.
God bless +
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Welcome TKS! I hope it helps you to be here with us. We're a big family - and we all understand each other. Most of us have a story similar to yours - you're among friends who care. I think that'll help with your anxiety. This is your new beginning. You can do it, and leave that old miserable life behind.
I hope it helps you to be here with us. We're a big family - and we all understand each other. Most of us have a story similar to yours - you're among friends who care. I think that'll help with your anxiety. This is your new beginning. You can do it, and leave that old miserable life behind.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by TKS
Thank you Michael, for a very thoughtful post, and addressing an approach for a non-Christian. Out of interest, how does Christian meditation differ from eastern, such as Hindu or Buddhist? I never considered meditation to be denomination specific. I'll peruse those broadcasts tomorrow also. There's an AA group within walking distance from my home on Tuesday evenings, and even if I can't maintain this path, it costs me nothing to give it a go. I have an inquiry about something else but I'll shift it to the appropriate subforum.
And I really appreciate everyone elses comments. Apologies if I cannot reply to each of you, I'm a bit upset right now, but it's all very supportive. I am quite amazed.
Day 1 starts tomorrow, Sunday 4th August. No more booze, and no more cigarettes.
And I really appreciate everyone elses comments. Apologies if I cannot reply to each of you, I'm a bit upset right now, but it's all very supportive. I am quite amazed.
Day 1 starts tomorrow, Sunday 4th August. No more booze, and no more cigarettes.
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