Change4life

Today I went to 7/11 to pick up a few things. On my way out there was a young girl sitting outside with a suitcase. Of course I had to talk to her because I have "I think I am the Mayor syndrome". It turns out she Lives in Ohio and came to Fl for rehab. Didnt go well and they kicked her out. So here she is in front of a store with no $ and no where to go. I told her I would try to help I would be right back... I went back with watermelon, an apple, and a bottle of water, thats all I had. My goal wasnt to bring her water and snacks. My goal was to tell her my story... I told her of all my pain and suffering due to drugs, all the heartaches, all the people I hurt. I told her I have been off the drugs for years but... now because of the life i led I am handicapped, I cant work, I cant enjoy my life to the fullest because I was living to hard before. She said I am young I just want to have fun, my reply was exactly.... your young and should be having fun., real fun experience life not numb. I begged her to go back to rehab. She met some dude who swears he is clean and she went with him. We walked away from each other after a long hug and some tears. I dont know what will happen to her. Ive been crying since. If I can help one person... save one person from themselves. Convince them to get out of their heads and back into life I wont feel like my life has been completely useless, I will not feel like my life has been wasted. I need just one person to learn from the mistakes I made, learn the lesson from my pain. If I can save just one person..... God bless Sammy I hope you are safe tonight,

Meanwhile I still drink ugh

360shoes

That was a wonderful thing you did Change4life.

I know that there were people in my past who took the time to treat me like a human being when I certainly didn't feel like one. To this day I remember their kindness and words. I often have their words of wisdom they shared with me back then pop in my head. What I didn't understand at the time makes perfect sense now.

It matters.

Change4life

my brain is all messed up cause meeting this person made me look at myself and yea I dont do drugs but I drink. I am safe I have a place to live I have food but at any given moment it can all go poof. I feel myself slipping its scary. I have no one to talk to. I made all new friends I could never admit to them my past or ever , ever tell how I feel now

joygirl

Ditto what shoes said, change4life. It matters what you did for Sammy, and every time you try to help anyone. You plant seeds. That is doing good! Growth and change can take time.
Many people, myself included, have had people like you in our lives who we later regard as "angels".

Change4life

i need an angel. I am soooo grateful to be off drugs that was just one big chase. But I am drinking again.

quitforme79

I really believe that nothing is coincidence. Perhaps this girl helped YOU more than you helped her...your advice of living a good life not numb sounds right on. You can try it if you want

Change4life

yes quit I think our meeting was a wake up for both of us

FreeFall

I don't think there are many accidents. I believe you two were meant to meet. What you get from the encounter and whether you learn from it is up to you. It's beautiful you helped her and maybe she will do the same for someone else down the road. Maybe this can be a turning point for you as well. Follow your own good advice.

Instead of saying "I am still drinking" try "I am quitting drinking" or "I used to be a drinker" or "I'm allergic to alcohol"....

Nuudawn

That was a beautiful story. Really beautiful.
I hope it meant something...for you both.

mecanix

Hey Change,

If you can do that for someone whilst drinking i wonder what you could do for people sober ?

Bestwishes, m

hypochondriac

Lovely story Change And I love your 'I think I'm the Mayor' syndrome, that's ace.

I wonder if you could extend some of that kindness to yourself though? You are not a cautionary tale, you are a real person who should be living a life of fun too. For a long time I just thought if I could be useful to others then my life would have some meaning, and gradually, with enough sober time, I have starting thinking about myself. Alcohol sapped all my will to live from me but sobriety brought it back. I hope you give yourself the same chance x

StevenT

I find that part of the power I need to not drink and drug comes from talking to that person that sees no hope, feels no love, and just wants it to end. From telling them that I have been there, and I have found a way out.

I think you have found that bit of power in this situation as well.

One thing I hated was looking in the mirror and not being able to make eye contact with that stranger. Now I know that person, and it isn't so bad to look at him. I even smile at him from time to time. It's amazing what not filling my emotional hole up with intoxicants enables me to do.

The beautiful thing is, when it comes right down to it, you and I are no different. When it comes to my DoC and alcohol I am weak willed and down right pathetic. I have been shown a way where neither of those things matter, because at the end of the day I cannot, have not nor ever will be able to keep myself sober, much less clean. Yet I have over five months without so much as a drop, toke or poke of dope. There is a way.

May God bless both you and Sammy. I pray that He be in this situation and that His will be done.

GracieLou

And you don't think that Sammy was your angel?

I have had many special people placed in my path over the last three months. I feel everyone of them have been my angel in some way.

For me, it is my willingness to accept them and I feel grateful they have passed into my life that keeps me sober.

They are gifts. I cannot throw away the gifts I have been given.

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling B, but it's good to see you back
I'm not surprised you're still helping people

D

Change4life

Gracielou you might be right, maybe Sammy was my angel. She inadvertently made me call myself on my own s***. Ive been falling backwards. You know now I cant work so I have no structure and if I am drunk I dont have to worry about getting in trouble. I sleep, eat, drink whenever I want. Freedom is great if I was making better choices. I am frustrated. All my usual activities have been taken away. I cant go take a walk, ride my bike, Pat gave my rollerblades to goodwill. I am banned from wheels unless I am a passenger in a car. I cant focus so reading is just horrible. Ive been on the same page for like 2 months now and I was really liking the book. I know drinking is no solution but I dont know what to do with myself. I couldnt play my guitar for months. TG I am starting to get that back. I love where I live but it is a party town. High influx of tourists and people on vacation like to indulge. The townies.... well one is more fd up then the next. its really easy to fall into the festivities. July 4th is coming the town is going to be on fire people flock to watch fireworks. I get caught up.

Anna

Beth, it's always so good to see you here.

I don't believe in coincidences either and this young woman was obviously meant to touch you deeply. Have faith in yourself that you can stop drinking and be the person you want to be, focus on your music and help others.