Powerlessness and Acceptance
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 16
Powerlessness and Acceptance
Hello... just want to share some stuff.
My mind, my thinking can cause me a lot of
emotional/mental misery when left to it's
default position of THINKING and PLANNING
to try and control the future. In other words,
when I push God aside and I try to be God.
My attempts at running my life have caused me
(and others) a great deal of pain in the past.
I now seek the power of God to restore me to sanity.
After my morning prayers I read a couple of
recovery readings each day and I've started
a few mins (5 to 10) of meditation each day
these days. For me, prayer is something I do
throughout the day... doing this keeps me much
calmer and more 'sane'.
One of the current dilema's causing me pain is that
I have to find a new apartment to live in (truly
through no fault or action of my own) and
my mind/will/ego trys to grab this situation and
run with it, planning and worrying, creating emotional
misery for me in the process, of course.
My reaction to this situation... is self-seeking fear.
The decision I made in step 3, is to turn my
will and my life over to the care of God as I
understand Him. As such, I turn my thinking and
my decisions and actions over to the care of God...
for God to look after. Our book tells me that
self-reliance doesn't work and that selfishness
and self-centeredness are the root of
my problem and that dependence on a Higher Power,
found through the twelve steps, is my solution.
Nothing about the past can be changed,
I am powerless over the past and
to accept this is to turn the past, my past, over to
the care of God... for God to look after. I admitted the
poison, shame and pain of my past to God and my sponsor
when I did step 5.
Nothing about the future can be controlled by me.
I can try to manipulate and control the future and
I did indeed try to do this for many, many years and
that landed me up in a lot of mess, in a detox unit
and finally in AA. I am powerless over the future and
to accept this is to turn the future, my future, over
to the care of God... for God to look after.
The present moment is the only true reality...
the here and now.
Our book tells me that, "..there is One who has all power -
That One is God. May you find him now! "
Accepting the 'isness' of the present moment,
it is what it is... and it is where I find God and freedom.
I am not God. I'll let God be God.
I put one foot in front of the other and turn my
thinking, decisions, actions, expectations, judgements
and the outcomes that happen over to the care of God...
for God to look after.
I used to be dependent upon alcohol. I was told in no uncertain
terms, "You have alcohol dependency"... I was then detoxed
from alcohol dependency.
For today, I'm dependent upon God.
For today I'm sober because of God, AA and
my following the directions of the 12 steps and I
am so, so grateful for that.
I'm not my thoughts nor my emotions. I am a spirit, I
am created by God, and I seek God's power, direction
and love in each present moment... as each moment
flows into the next.
Please share back... thanks in advance.
My mind, my thinking can cause me a lot of
emotional/mental misery when left to it's
default position of THINKING and PLANNING
to try and control the future. In other words,
when I push God aside and I try to be God.
My attempts at running my life have caused me
(and others) a great deal of pain in the past.
I now seek the power of God to restore me to sanity.
After my morning prayers I read a couple of
recovery readings each day and I've started
a few mins (5 to 10) of meditation each day
these days. For me, prayer is something I do
throughout the day... doing this keeps me much
calmer and more 'sane'.
One of the current dilema's causing me pain is that
I have to find a new apartment to live in (truly
through no fault or action of my own) and
my mind/will/ego trys to grab this situation and
run with it, planning and worrying, creating emotional
misery for me in the process, of course.
My reaction to this situation... is self-seeking fear.
The decision I made in step 3, is to turn my
will and my life over to the care of God as I
understand Him. As such, I turn my thinking and
my decisions and actions over to the care of God...
for God to look after. Our book tells me that
self-reliance doesn't work and that selfishness
and self-centeredness are the root of
my problem and that dependence on a Higher Power,
found through the twelve steps, is my solution.
Nothing about the past can be changed,
I am powerless over the past and
to accept this is to turn the past, my past, over to
the care of God... for God to look after. I admitted the
poison, shame and pain of my past to God and my sponsor
when I did step 5.
Nothing about the future can be controlled by me.
I can try to manipulate and control the future and
I did indeed try to do this for many, many years and
that landed me up in a lot of mess, in a detox unit
and finally in AA. I am powerless over the future and
to accept this is to turn the future, my future, over
to the care of God... for God to look after.
The present moment is the only true reality...
the here and now.
Our book tells me that, "..there is One who has all power -
That One is God. May you find him now! "
Accepting the 'isness' of the present moment,
it is what it is... and it is where I find God and freedom.
I am not God. I'll let God be God.
I put one foot in front of the other and turn my
thinking, decisions, actions, expectations, judgements
and the outcomes that happen over to the care of God...
for God to look after.
I used to be dependent upon alcohol. I was told in no uncertain
terms, "You have alcohol dependency"... I was then detoxed
from alcohol dependency.
For today, I'm dependent upon God.
For today I'm sober because of God, AA and
my following the directions of the 12 steps and I
am so, so grateful for that.
I'm not my thoughts nor my emotions. I am a spirit, I
am created by God, and I seek God's power, direction
and love in each present moment... as each moment
flows into the next.
Please share back... thanks in advance.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 92
Hey James..
When I was less than 3 months sober, my house burnt down. I lost pretty much everything. Anyway, a month later I was going to Southeast Asia for three months, so I stayed in a furnished apartment until then.
Near the end of our trip, my boyfriend was starting to freak because we would be coming back homeless. But I KNEW that God would take care of us. If God has the power to restore me to sanity (and I was insane), then he has the power to do all things!
When we got back, there were a few bumps in the road, but because of the bumps, we found the most perfect place. Everything went according to God's plan and God's timing.
Putting my faith and trust in God has proven to be an amazing thing in my life.
Anytime I get stubborn and take my will back, the results are disastrous.
I am sober too because of God, AA and step work.
When I was less than 3 months sober, my house burnt down. I lost pretty much everything. Anyway, a month later I was going to Southeast Asia for three months, so I stayed in a furnished apartment until then.
Near the end of our trip, my boyfriend was starting to freak because we would be coming back homeless. But I KNEW that God would take care of us. If God has the power to restore me to sanity (and I was insane), then he has the power to do all things!
When we got back, there were a few bumps in the road, but because of the bumps, we found the most perfect place. Everything went according to God's plan and God's timing.
Putting my faith and trust in God has proven to be an amazing thing in my life.
Anytime I get stubborn and take my will back, the results are disastrous.
I am sober too because of God, AA and step work.
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
Wow. This thread is awesome. That was an amazing post, James. Thank you very much for the thoughts. I have been going through the same thought process on and off for a bit now, and it causes me nothing but misery and pain.
I struggle with the "Either God is everything, or He isn't..." and I believe He IS, so why do I get bent out of shape projecting about the future when there is no apparent reason to think any of my "fantasies" are going to come to pass? It's a lack of faith, and I am working really hard on trying to right it. I think it might be one of those things that the more you try, the less results you will have. Maybe just letting go, surrendering, and accepting life completely on life's terms (as long as you have put your best foot forward) is the key.
I struggle with the "Either God is everything, or He isn't..." and I believe He IS, so why do I get bent out of shape projecting about the future when there is no apparent reason to think any of my "fantasies" are going to come to pass? It's a lack of faith, and I am working really hard on trying to right it. I think it might be one of those things that the more you try, the less results you will have. Maybe just letting go, surrendering, and accepting life completely on life's terms (as long as you have put your best foot forward) is the key.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 16
Thanks for what people have shared.
I sometimes find myself wanting to present to the
world including in AA meetings the stage
character that I think will show how 'well'
I am (my ego is, of course, ever ready to
jump in and take control) ...rather than just
being honest in meetings and share that I
sometimes feel like when I was a young boy..
who isn't getting his way, wants to stamp his
foot, have a tantrum and start crying...
honestly that is how I feel sometimes,
like I'm gonna cry cos I'm fearful of the future
(full of self-seeking fear).... just writing that
helps me see how self-centered and confusing my
mind can be.
Anyhow, my job is to follow the spiritual program
of recovery that God brought me to in AA... get up,
suit up and show up for the day. Judging and expecting
certain outcomes are none of my business, that is God's
business and I am not God. I take the action, results
and outcomes are in God's hands... under God's control.
For today, I will let God be God and get out of the way.
I sometimes find myself wanting to present to the
world including in AA meetings the stage
character that I think will show how 'well'
I am (my ego is, of course, ever ready to
jump in and take control) ...rather than just
being honest in meetings and share that I
sometimes feel like when I was a young boy..
who isn't getting his way, wants to stamp his
foot, have a tantrum and start crying...
honestly that is how I feel sometimes,
like I'm gonna cry cos I'm fearful of the future
(full of self-seeking fear).... just writing that
helps me see how self-centered and confusing my
mind can be.
Anyhow, my job is to follow the spiritual program
of recovery that God brought me to in AA... get up,
suit up and show up for the day. Judging and expecting
certain outcomes are none of my business, that is God's
business and I am not God. I take the action, results
and outcomes are in God's hands... under God's control.
For today, I will let God be God and get out of the way.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Could it be rather than fear or lack of faith, that we base how we behave and think depending upon our outside circumstances?
That our problem is that we are looking to outside things to be good for us to be happy and at peace?
That we are operating dependent upon outside circumstances rather than operate from a position of all is well, and that I'll be happy no matter what I have, or where I live, etc.
Could it be as easy as waking up, seeing the behavior, and making a decision to let go of basing our happiness on where we live, or what we have.
That our problem is that we are looking to outside things to be good for us to be happy and at peace?
That we are operating dependent upon outside circumstances rather than operate from a position of all is well, and that I'll be happy no matter what I have, or where I live, etc.
Could it be as easy as waking up, seeing the behavior, and making a decision to let go of basing our happiness on where we live, or what we have.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi James,
You sound like you are getting your thinking together. James believe me if you keep doing what you are doing the fears will leave you and the promises become a realization.
I am very broke at the moment and previously this would send me into a head spin of anxiety and fear of the future but the miracle is I am really not worried. God always gives me what I need, not necessarily what I want
Now I just do what needs to be done and leave the outcome up to God and as Veritas so wisely said, my happiness is not based on what I have or where I live but what is going on inside of my head and how close my relationship is with God.
Good luck with the apartment hunting I am sure you will be fine.
Love
CaiHong
You sound like you are getting your thinking together. James believe me if you keep doing what you are doing the fears will leave you and the promises become a realization.
I am very broke at the moment and previously this would send me into a head spin of anxiety and fear of the future but the miracle is I am really not worried. God always gives me what I need, not necessarily what I want
Now I just do what needs to be done and leave the outcome up to God and as Veritas so wisely said, my happiness is not based on what I have or where I live but what is going on inside of my head and how close my relationship is with God.
Good luck with the apartment hunting I am sure you will be fine.
Love
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 243
Excellent. Through Gods grace, with the power of God i can work through anything knowing its going to be okay. God is everything. We are all apart of God. Therefore we should all show each other love and respect. Some times i get angry, and i try to be honest and let it out. im not worried about the future, as long as i have faith and take the action necessary, everything will work out. Simple as that.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
Originally Posted by Veritas1 
Could it be rather than fear or lack of faith, that we base how we behave and think depending upon our outside circumstances?
That our problem is that we are looking to outside things to be good for us to be happy and at peace?
That we are operating dependent upon outside circumstances rather than operate from a position of all is well, and that I'll be happy no matter what I have, or where I live, etc.
Could it be as easy as waking up, seeing the behavior, and making a decision to let go of basing our happiness on where we live, or what we have.
That our problem is that we are looking to outside things to be good for us to be happy and at peace?
That we are operating dependent upon outside circumstances rather than operate from a position of all is well, and that I'll be happy no matter what I have, or where I live, etc.
Could it be as easy as waking up, seeing the behavior, and making a decision to let go of basing our happiness on where we live, or what we have.
Serenity is inner calm amidst the storm !
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