ex D-Boy

I have not visited these forums in quite a while but some of you may still remember me...for those who don't know me, a little background info on me.

I first found these forums deep into a 4 year opiate addiction. Like many of you, I was lost without even a clue which direction to go into. I felt like I had tried every possible method to maintain sobriety but they all failed. This forum became my sole support system in the beginning. For a while it worked and I felt like I had finally beaten this terrible affliction.

Like some of you may know, recovery is a journey and there can be setbacks. I found myself using with a fellow member of this forum. We thought we could conquer the mental addiction and just use once every 4 days. Hah! You all know how well that works. Like clockwork I found myself back at square one. A raging habit that was supported by dealing drugs to others.

My moment of clarity came when my own family tried to get me arrested. I was furious , telling them they didn't love me. How could they love me if they were trying to get put behind bars for felony drug charges? My mother simply told me "It was the only thing I could think of to get you to stop destroying yourself and this family, I do not regret it and wish it would have worked"

Don't ask me why that was the one thing that resonated with me but it did. Soon after I started seeing an addiction specialist twice a week to help me learn how to function without the crutch of opiates. I won't lie, it was very tough. I really got used to listening to my own voice and taking everybody else's opinions with a grain of salt. I totally put my life into this strangers hands and let him make EVERY decision in my life for almost a year. It was necessary, I couldn't trust myself to make the right decisions anymore.

On April 19th of 2013 I celebrated my 3rd year drug free and I am finally happy. I no longer confuse pleasure with happiness. I realize sometimes I will cry, sometimes I will be moody and angry, and that is okay. I have great people in my life who genuinely care about me, the person, and are not just trying to take advantage of me in one way or another.

I am not very good with inspirational messages or motivation (can't you tell already by this post? Hah) but I do want to tell the newcomers and members who are still struggling that it CAN get better. You can be content without drugs in your everyday life. No matter how bad or hopeless you may feel....it's never to late to change and turn it all around! Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

That's all I got, thanks for reading this. And a special thanks to a few friends who helped me out tremendously along the way : Felicia, Matty, Rachel, Layna and Ian.

I know I still have a lot to learn about recovery and am no way out of the woods but life is good

Midwest181

Well said. People need to hear this. It does get better. You can live normal and happy. Thank you!

doggonecarl

Actually, you are quite inspirational. Thanks.

ian_g

Scotty! Good to hear from ya bro. Glad to hear you're well. Let's catch up soon. You're a good dude and real happy to read about how everything is!

Lyoness

Thank you for a great and very inspirational post! It's so good and important and necessary to hear from folks that are doing well in recovery--thank you for coming back to remind us that recovery is a journey and is well worth it.

Dee74

Congratulations!

ex D-Boy

Thank you everybody for the love and support ! I made a commitment to myself to visit these forums more and give back. This site and the people on it were an essential part of my recovery program and I would love to help others in need so you guys are stuck with me !

Ian - hey buddy! Glad to see you still around and here..a lot of the normals from back in the day I haven't seen lately, hopefully they are doing well and enjoying life. I will catch up with you later this weekend. I am in Baltimore for a few days right now but as soon as I head back to Houston I'll write you on Facebook or here or whichever.

And dear god...side note to myself...update my picture on this site. What kind of face am I even making?! I look constipated hahaha oh man

smacked

Yes, update your picture.

I am so happy you're "back"

Thanks for the shoutout, mucho love right back atcha

Has it SERIOUSLY been 3 years!? Well done, sir

Where's Matty at.. I think he's back somewhere 'round here too.

xx

ex D-Boy

Thanks Layna

I actually spoke with Matty recently but it was on Facebook (something you should use more often). He is doing great, I'm going to tell him to get his butt back on here though.

finaltime

Thank you so much for sharing that!!!!!!!

sparky78

Congrats on 3 years!! Great story!!

Mattcake

Facebook? What's Facebook?

LOL, mission accomplished.

Hi, pretty one I've missed seeing you. Scotty is prettier though :p

Congratulations, Scotty. You worked SO hard for this. I couldn't be happier for you.

I remember when this happened! You were SO pissed off, and the rest of us were cheering, LOL. Of course you know how lucky you are to have such a loving, close-knight family.

Don't forget Ms. Sook, she set us straight once or twice, LOL. And thank YOU for teaching us a new way to view addiction (at least you taught me several things, that's why I've quoted you in my signature!). Embracing freedom, instead of wallowing in deprivation, that's the way to do it imho.

I think we all feel the same commitment :-) Knowing that SR is here for us if you need help is always a relief and reassuring, and it's so gratifying to focus on giving back. Paying it forward. "Giving a little bit"

Scotty.

smacked

Oh there he is!! Hi there my beautiful boy!!!

And Scott... I'm on FB all the time, I am just more of a creeper, not a poster :P Kind of like Matty <3

Mattcake

LOL, fine, ok, you're the beautiful one Inside and out

To avoid going off on a tangent... to any newcomers to SR who are struggling to overcome their addiction.. There IS hope, all the time. And in SR you'll meet loving people whom you'll respect and befriend, just like Smacked, Ex D-Boy and me. We've been through a lot together, and we've managed to move past addiction.

PLEASE don't give up Ask for as much support as you need, that's what we're here for, and that's the way to do it. It can be a sad yet beautiful challenge.

If anybody needs to talk in private, please PM me.

Scutie, Smacky, SR!

bigsombrero

The personal growth we can attain is limitless when we have confident sobriety. It's good to be reminded of that, at any stage of recovery. Thanks for sharing this great story.

ex D-Boy

Double posted...can mods delete this somehow?! I tried but didn't know how :/

ex D-Boy

I'm feeling a Savages-esque lifestyle developing between Matty Layna and Myself...ya know without all the murdering and drug dealing hahaha

FMTT

Your old pic didn't look that bad but you look much happier in the new one.

ex D-Boy

This made my day! I never noticed but I just compared pics after your comment and you are totally right. I can see the happiness and peace in this one .