DG0409

So, this morning, I'm thinking that I tend to focus too much on the things that got me here (a tendency to want to avoid the truth, childhood issues, denial, procrastination, etc.) and maybe I should think about the qualities and strengths I know I have that I can use to help myself recover instead. And then, I started thinking, it seems like a lot of us do that.

So, my question today is, What are your strengths and the positive things about yourself that you can use to be successful in kicking addiction and living sober?

I'll start.

• strong
• determined
• I don't like failure- I'll keep trying until I succeed no matter how many times it takes.
• willing to try new things- this will help me to find new options and get out of old patterns.
• I like to learn- I can use this to my advantage because the more I know about alcoholism and quitting alcohol, the more successful I'll be.

Joe Nerv

While its become a bit of a cliche, I truly believe that honesty, open mindedness, and willingness (HOW) are the 3 most important qualities necessary to getting and staying sober. If someone truly has all 3, I don't believe anything more is necessary.

visch1

I was told to utilize not analyze. I/WE have a natural tendency to not see things the way they are. when I was told I cannot drink in safety I rebelled like a child then 2 years later was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Was told that alcohol is the tip of the iceberg and most of the work is below the surface, things that involved feelings which my responses started with ah but. But years later I'm saying the same things those old timers were saying. I'm now grateful they were tough and recognized all the BS my responses were. BE WELL

doggonecarl

This is key, because you will likely learn that strength and determination and the will to succeed don't have as much to do with conquering addiction as you'd think. But as long as you learn and are willing to revise your list...you'll do fine.

You can do this!

bigsombrero

I like the above responses a lot. Open mindedness and the craving for knowledge and understanding surrounding my disease/illness has been important. Realizing I don't know everything - I suppose "humility" would be a good word. I have learned to shut up and LISTEN to others.

Above all, I have taken this very seriously. I don't do that with much. I am very much a "go with the flow" type of guy, but with alcoholism I do not joke around. I toe the line. I also have learned to trust myself - I do not view this as a "fight" against myself, but rather this is a joint mind, body, and soul battle against alcohol. I love myself and value myself and I will not put my awesome self in that dark place again. I deserve better.

Livingtoday

My major fault that keeps me using is "people pleasing". I made a determination that I will engage in my sobriety from an honest, spiritual place despite the thoughts of others. I believe in spirituality, confidence, determination, perseverance and this words alone will help me to stay sober.

Anna

I learned from Eckhart Tolle how important it is to accept what 'is'. That's the first step to making change. There were so many things in my life that I was in denial about, but I couldn't take positive steps to change until I acknowledged those things.

DG0409

I tend to disagree here. I quit smoking cigarettes and one of the things that made that possible was my complete determination to do so. I relapsed any number of times, but my sheer stubbornness meant that I always quit again and that is what saved me.

I think there are times when quitting a substance when the going gets tough and the reasons for quitting are far away and there will come a time when nobody is watching and sometimes, I just have to say "I made a commitment, I'm determined to do this no matter what. I'm strong enough to make it through this without _____".

Maybe these aren't the same things other people use to quit, but it works for me. They aren't the ONLY things I use, I certainly use every tool I can find, but they are amongst the things that I think will help me to become sober.

I DO think that it also takes an understanding of the concept of addiction and being able to say, "If I do this drug, I'll set myself back and be addicted again."

I think we all have choices and as long as I say, "I'm not going to drink today" and tell myself I have the strength and determination to do so and keep determined about it, I rather think I WILL succeed at being sober one day at a time. Really, as long as I choose to believe this, it'll keep working, too.

I think that we all have different strengths and qualities about us that we can leverage in sobriety and the point of this thread was really to try to get people to think about what their personal things were that would help them. Like I read somebody in another post say that they were an honest person so they told everybody they were quitting so they wouldn't drink because they didn't want to be a liar. It worked for that person. Others of us, that wouldn't work, we've said we would quit over and over and never did it.

deeker

My biggest strength was realizing my weaknesses, my flaws, my stubborness, my ego and getting the heck out of the way and letting Jesus take the wheel. :

FreedomWon

DG,
I totally love this post! Thank you for making me think. I like what you're saying here too...strong, determined, don't like failure, keep trying until you succeed no matter what...willingness, love of learning! Wow these are all great.

Here's mine:
When I wake up, I ask God to direct me in everything I do, trusting His work through me. I ask that He intercede on my behalf when I don't know what to do. I depend on God to turn the light on in all my dealings with life.

I am excited for you DG because you obviously are putting out the effort it takes to move forward! I hope to read more and more of your posts! Keep that attitude of winning and you're going to succeed beautifully because you are an important and integral part of the win for all of us!

Blessings!
FreedomWon

DG0409

Curiosity. I'm just too CURIOUS to know what life is REALLY like sober. And I don't mean the first 3 weeks that suck when going through withdrawal and all that stuff. I want to know what it's like when I get really used to it. I don't want to spend my WHOLE life as an alcoholic. It kind of got old and boring and I want to know what else is out there now.

I kind of figure if in a year or two, I don't like it, I can always go back. But I NEED to know what it is like.

bumble

Great post, DG. I think any attempt at staying positive is HUGE in recovery.

For me, I'm trying to focus on compassion - if I can have it for everyone else, why not for myself? If I can, without question, see the value and the beauty of everyone on here, why think of myself as a lesser human being for struggling with this?

Gottalife

A closed mind is about the only thing certain to defeat you.

360shoes

By nature I'm an optimist. If I work on staying positive everything is easier for me. I have awful things going on in my life with a sick parent, no job...etc...stuff like many people do. I know it's just life. But I can be angry and tired or just tired. I pick just tired. I trust that things just work out. I know it's silly but it's just how I was wired.

ScoutBall

Hmmm.
This is probably weird, and maybe some head shrinker would tell me it's some sort one defense mechanism for some deeply repressed thing I have going on, and perhaps they'd be right. But:
My sense of humor. It may be off-putting, and I can see how...especially to someone who truly is in a dark place, detoxing, or having an internal row regarding the struggle to stay sober.
At various stages of my drinking, I could see where my humor left me, as things that were supposed to be light and cheery were drawn with ominous lines...darker where they shouldn't have been, heavier lines where light would have sufficed.
My hand and arm would ache on hangover days (read: Everyday) because I was gripping my pencils so tight as I drew cartoons. CARTOONS. The very medium designed to make people laugh, smile, and forget about the real life things that trouble them for 22 minutes.
Sober, I've drawn some pretty nasty looking lads and lasses...but I think it's me trapping the AV, The Beast, or D***head on paper where he can't get to me.
Humor is my strength. Making people laugh or even smile awkwardly as they decide if what they've seen is funny or not is really my drug of choice. It's free, non habit forming (sort of) and totally healthy.
How has it helped me? Keeping me real. Without it, I would be a shell. Drinking or not, a me without a goofy ass sense of humor would render me useless. I'd have to be an accountant or tax collector. Or a very cheerless evil henchman. (No offense to any accountants or tax collectors, or evil henchman reading this...I just couldn't live in those fields. Numbers and corpse digging escape me...)
All in all, a will to get better, and have a sense of humor about me is critical for my success. It keeps me somewhat grounded in reality, and the realization of very real unfunny consequences looming on my horizon were near enough to scare me straight.

ScoutBall

PS:
DG, I love your post topics. Make me think. Which...is a feat not to be taken lightly.

YouRmySunshine

GOD!

With him heading up my recovery support system, the rest is easier to seek out.

Dejvice

Strengths and positive things you can use to stop?............for me in the past few months the strength has been going back to that person I was 10 years ago. Hope that makes sense.

LadyinBC

This for me is big. I was so closed minded and it was not positive and contributed nothing to my recovery. Once I opened my mind up it really helped me get out of the box I was in.

I also focus on the positive things in my life like my daughter and grandkids.

I also have a determination I didn't have before and I can't be afraid of change. Change is a good thing and it is what keeps up growing inside.

wanttobepure

I began to succeed when I stopped trying to be "strong" and realized that I could create my own method to become sober. The principles that have helped me are acceptance, letting go, and living a conscious, healthy life.

Some of my "ah ha" moments/insights - I don't have to attend AA meetings. I don't have to stand up and say "Hi I'm Wanttobepure, and I'm an alcoholic." I don't have to "recover" from anything. I don't have to "be strong" or "live strong" (sorry Lance).

For me, I found that a lot of the AA and recovery literature focuses too much on the negative. i.e. "I am damaged, how can I fix myself?" I decided to focus on the positive. Of course, I take the "good" from these programs.

In summary, I discovered that I didn't need to "struggle" to be sober.