Wing

Last evening, I cried... In a party at the highest bar in the world.
The party was packed; my soul was empty... I miss him; part of him (when he's not drunk and not canceling me for the drunkie frens). Bumped into 2 guys who had been chasing me for years. They asked if I was ok as I looked sad... I couldn't event talk. Once I moved my lips, the tear just came out.

This morning, I cried... In a church for Easter assembly.
The hall was spacious; my soul was empty but filled up with memories about these drunk & drug scenes...
The music's on... And my tear started running out... There were too many sad wordings in the lyric...

What to do...
I miss him while everyone around me said its not possible
I feel that I love him while everybody around me asked how could I love someone who doesn't care about me...

legna

First of all, I am sorry for your pain.

Never did understand that concept - love doesn't require reciprocation.

Ann

Wing, mourning is a normal process when we leave someone we were so attached to, regardless of the relationship. It is a normal part of healing, although it hurts to walk through the pain.

Hope you find happier days ahead, and new beginnings that are healthy.

Hugs

Lily1918

I cry in church when the lyrics really get to me. I always have. especially to the song "blessed be your name." Its ok to cry, and imho God is the best crying shoulder ever.

Maylie

Leaving someone we care about is always extremely hard. Unfortunately, you just need to go through the emotions and embrace the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel all the emotions that come with it. Holding in the crying would only build up and end up eating away at you, so while it is a horrible feeling to feel empty and not enjoy yourself when you are out, allowing the tears to come is healthy and the best thing for you.

Have you thought about trying to find a new hobby or journaling your emotions? I have also found taking long walks and just trying to empty your mind is helpful along with maybe going to counseling to talk things through and get some feedback from a professional.

Although it might not feel like it right now, you will come out the other side and you will be okay. We're all here for you and we know what you're going through.

EverHopeful721

Hang in there, Wing. What everyone says is TRUE - it DOES get better. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, and I know because up until a week ago, I still wanted to cry every second of every day and the only reason I didn't is because I was at work...but as soon as I got in the car at the end of the day, the floodgates opened and I'd cry the whole way home, go to my room, shut the door and cry more. And on the weekends, I would just cry from the time I got up until I went to bed. But this past week was the first week that I really did not cry as much. I still had a lot of moments where my eyes would get teary, but it never evolved into a full-fledged crying jag. And with each day that passes, I feel the urge to cry less and less. Am I still sad, confused, terribly hurt, etc?? ABSOLUTELY. But as the days pass and my head clears more and more from the influence he had over me, I'm starting to see things a LOT more clearly and am starting to be more honest with myself about the TRUTH of what our relationship was, and believe me, it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies the way I tried to convince myself it was!!

As I've read here so many times already, it's like we are getting over our OWN addiction - our addiction to THEM. And yes, in the beginning, it's absolutely AWFUL. But as each day passes, it gets a little better and we get a little stronger. You're still in the early stages of grief - give yourself TIME, as much as you need, to heal and move forward with your life, but this time concentrating on YOU. As someone who just a short week ago thought it would NEVER get better, trust me when I say IT DOES.

Vale

It DOES get better.........

(it really does!)

Momzo

Wing...I feel the same as you right now..(((hugs))) to you and me.

We will get through it even though it hurts so bad right now.

:ghug3

Jennie

chickady

Wing, I remember crying at church the first couple of weeks but the first time I cried at church I WAS STILL DATING HIM. So in the sense .. When I compare both times of crying I was more miserable with him than without him. The tears will pass.. They may return briefly after some time but it will only be BRIEFLY. You can't remember the "times of sobriety" because you DESERVE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT SOBRIETY. We must concentrate on ourselves and becoming healthy within and in our souls alone. Healthy people attract healthy people. I keep telling myself that over and over. I wish you the best and crying is always good for us! It releases the emotions!

Wing

Dear all,
Thanks for the support.. I'm in another country for holiday... It's really boring here but at least, it's better than sitting at home thinking all the time...