How to have fun without drinking?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 20
How to have fun without drinking?
Hi there, I am new and my intro threat is in the newbie section.
A little background, I am 22, drink on rare occasions,and when I DO I limit myself to one or two drinks and my BF is 31 and an RA. We have lived together for 4 months, things are amazing, and I love the heck out of him. I changed my lifestyle a LOT when I met him though, gladly.
I have a ton of questions for those who are either recovering alcoholics or a family/friend/significant other of an RA. I will just start with one for now!
One thing that the bf struggles with adjusting to having fun without drinking. We go out [not often] and when we do, such as bowling, a show, or hanging out with family/friends he tends to push me to drink. It is something that frustrates me because 1. he won't kiss me if I drink, 2. I don't even WANT to drink, and 3. he tends to act odd towards me if I end up drinking.
I rarely drink when out with him, but in certain circumstances I will. For example we were at a family event and I had a glass of wine, totally fine with me, just one glass... but he sort of pushed me to drink me. Telling me jokingly to take shots, insisting he get me another glass.
We talked about it and for him, he correlates drinking with having fun so much that he thinks I need to drink in order to enjoy myself. I have told him to STOP, because I honestly would rather be with him sober than enjoy a good buzz and make him uncomfortable. It is difficult for me too, mostly because when we do go do things I try so hard to show him it IS possible to have fun without drinking, but nothing really seems to be THAT enjoyable for him.
Is this something that will always be?
He is a good sport, and definitely tries, but his side jokes of "this would be more fun if I had a bottle of vodka" and such not only make me sad, but scare me. I know he says it in a joking tone, and is always quick to reassure me that he would never, and that he is actually having fun, but I am just wondering if there is an adjustment period to enjoying oneself without the drinking.
After living the past 10 years drunk I can understand that it must be difficult, I just wish there was more I could do. I want him to be able to go out on a date or group outing and see that we can both have a great time without alcohol, without him wishing he could drink so he could enjoy it.
Thanks in advance!
A little background, I am 22, drink on rare occasions,and when I DO I limit myself to one or two drinks and my BF is 31 and an RA. We have lived together for 4 months, things are amazing, and I love the heck out of him. I changed my lifestyle a LOT when I met him though, gladly.
I have a ton of questions for those who are either recovering alcoholics or a family/friend/significant other of an RA. I will just start with one for now!
One thing that the bf struggles with adjusting to having fun without drinking. We go out [not often] and when we do, such as bowling, a show, or hanging out with family/friends he tends to push me to drink. It is something that frustrates me because 1. he won't kiss me if I drink, 2. I don't even WANT to drink, and 3. he tends to act odd towards me if I end up drinking.
I rarely drink when out with him, but in certain circumstances I will. For example we were at a family event and I had a glass of wine, totally fine with me, just one glass... but he sort of pushed me to drink me. Telling me jokingly to take shots, insisting he get me another glass.
We talked about it and for him, he correlates drinking with having fun so much that he thinks I need to drink in order to enjoy myself. I have told him to STOP, because I honestly would rather be with him sober than enjoy a good buzz and make him uncomfortable. It is difficult for me too, mostly because when we do go do things I try so hard to show him it IS possible to have fun without drinking, but nothing really seems to be THAT enjoyable for him.
Is this something that will always be?
He is a good sport, and definitely tries, but his side jokes of "this would be more fun if I had a bottle of vodka" and such not only make me sad, but scare me. I know he says it in a joking tone, and is always quick to reassure me that he would never, and that he is actually having fun, but I am just wondering if there is an adjustment period to enjoying oneself without the drinking.
After living the past 10 years drunk I can understand that it must be difficult, I just wish there was more I could do. I want him to be able to go out on a date or group outing and see that we can both have a great time without alcohol, without him wishing he could drink so he could enjoy it.
Thanks in advance!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Well, I qualify on both counts, I'm sober four and a half years, and I've been in two alcoholic marriages (one recovered and 33 years later is still sober, the other went back to drinking after almost dying of it).
I "get" his thought that his disease shouldn't interfere with what YOU do, but in early recovery I think most alcoholics are best avoiding being around a significant other who drinks (and, likewise, avoiding places where drinking is one of the main activities unless it is something REALLY important, like the wedding of a close family member or a job-related event). So I think you are on the right track saying, "No thank you."
Is he in a recovery program? That helped me a LOT with sobriety--early and even now. I think his "jokes" are a bit worrisome.
And while I think it is terrific you are so supportive, you must understand that ultimately his recovery is on him. I take it from your post that he was sober when you met him. How long has he been sober?
I "get" his thought that his disease shouldn't interfere with what YOU do, but in early recovery I think most alcoholics are best avoiding being around a significant other who drinks (and, likewise, avoiding places where drinking is one of the main activities unless it is something REALLY important, like the wedding of a close family member or a job-related event). So I think you are on the right track saying, "No thank you."
Is he in a recovery program? That helped me a LOT with sobriety--early and even now. I think his "jokes" are a bit worrisome.
And while I think it is terrific you are so supportive, you must understand that ultimately his recovery is on him. I take it from your post that he was sober when you met him. How long has he been sober?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
loveaboveall, one of the first questions that comes to my mind is how long has he been sober? and what kind of recovery program is he doing? AA? or something else, or on his own? And, if you're 22, and he's been drinking for 10 years, how old is he?
ShootingStar1
ShootingStar1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
Well, I qualify on both counts, I'm sober four and a half years, and I've been in two alcoholic marriages (one recovered and 33 years later is still sober, the other went back to drinking after almost dying of it).
I "get" his thought that his disease shouldn't interfere with what YOU do, but in early recovery I think most alcoholics are best avoiding being around a significant other who drinks (and, likewise, avoiding places where drinking is one of the main activities unless it is something REALLY important, like the wedding of a close family member or a job-related event). So I think you are on the right track saying, "No thank you."
Is he in a recovery program? That helped me a LOT with sobriety--early and even now. I think his "jokes" are a bit worrisome.
And while I think it is terrific you are so supportive, you must understand that ultimately his recovery is on him. I take it from your post that he was sober when you met him. How long has he been sober?
I "get" his thought that his disease shouldn't interfere with what YOU do, but in early recovery I think most alcoholics are best avoiding being around a significant other who drinks (and, likewise, avoiding places where drinking is one of the main activities unless it is something REALLY important, like the wedding of a close family member or a job-related event). So I think you are on the right track saying, "No thank you."
Is he in a recovery program? That helped me a LOT with sobriety--early and even now. I think his "jokes" are a bit worrisome.
And while I think it is terrific you are so supportive, you must understand that ultimately his recovery is on him. I take it from your post that he was sober when you met him. How long has he been sober?
He has been sober for 2 years and 3 months. I really do not feel comfortable drinking around him, as I said it really is RARE of me to drink at all when with him. Both of our families drink, we don't really get put in situations where drinking is around much because we tend to spend most of our time at home.
We have been to two hip hop shows, one where we didn't drink, and he kept apologizing that it wasn't as fun because I wasn't drinking, being a non drinker in general I couldn't understand his logic. Then at the second show we went to he pressured me pretty hard core to drink, he wanted me to get a buzz so I could enjoy it. I did end up having a few drinks but told him after my own limit of 2 that I didn't want anymore. I do not enjoy getting buzzed, lol it isn't my thing. He kept telling me to just take one more. I kissed him, told him I was having a blast without a buzz and asked him to stop asking.
His comments really do worry me. I totally realize that his recovery is on him, I just wish he would stop thinking that I NEED to drink to have a good time just like HE did.
He was sober when we met, and also I want to add that right before we met he had also quit smoking cigarettes AND smoking marijuana. Unfortunately... he isn't in any recovery programs. Due to work and school. [we both work and go to school full time, one huge reason why we are homebodies] I have told him I think he should go back to AA meetings but he says he really doesn't have the time. He went to a few a month or two back because he was hiding empy bottles of dayquil under the sink that he was drinking. Luckily he came clean with me and himself on that 5 days in...
No meetings since then though.
Originally Posted by ShootingStar1
loveaboveall, one of the first questions that comes to my mind is how long has he been sober? and what kind of recovery program is he doing? AA? or something else, or on his own? And, if you're 22, and he's been drinking for 10 years, how old is he?
ShootingStar1
ShootingStar1
He is 31, I think it is a reason he tries to get me to drink so much. He thinks he is "stealing my youth" when in reality I wasn't a drinker before I met him. Sober for 2 years 3 months, smoke free for 5 months now. No programs anymore, just on his own.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
No, he has NOT been sober for two years and three months--smoking marijuana does not qualify as sober. And why anyone (alcoholic or not) would recreationally drink dayquil is beyond me, but it certainly isn't sober behavior.
I think you ought to head over to Al-Anon. I have a feeling you are going to be in for a rude awakening one of these days...
I think you ought to head over to Al-Anon. I have a feeling you are going to be in for a rude awakening one of these days...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by LexieCat
No, he has NOT been sober for two years and three months--smoking marijuana does not qualify as sober. And why anyone (alcoholic or not) would recreationally drink dayquil is beyond me, but it certainly isn't sober behavior.
I think you ought to head over to Al-Anon. I have a feeling you are going to be in for a rude awakening one of these days...
I think you ought to head over to Al-Anon. I have a feeling you are going to be in for a rude awakening one of these days...
What exactly are you trying to say?
I am sorry, the dayquil thing was a shock to me, started out due to a cold we both had, but he took it too far. I don't know WHY he did it either, but I chalked it up to his addictive behavior.
I will correct myself, non drinker for 2 years and 3 months, and non smoker for 5. He was a recreational smoker though.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
What I am saying is that I think a relapse (ANOTHER relapse) is likely.
I'm sorry if it sounds unhelpful--we all want to believe everything will turn out OK. Maybe your situation will. But there are a lot of red flags that I see, both as a recovered alcoholic and as someone who has been very close to two alcoholics (and as someone who has listened to hundreds of alcoholics share at AA meetings). I think it will be to your benefit to attend some meetings and learn a little more about alcoholism. I also suggest your attending some open AA meetings on your own, for the same reason. If you are going to be living with an alcoholic it is only smart to learn as much as you can.
I'm sorry if it sounds unhelpful--we all want to believe everything will turn out OK. Maybe your situation will. But there are a lot of red flags that I see, both as a recovered alcoholic and as someone who has been very close to two alcoholics (and as someone who has listened to hundreds of alcoholics share at AA meetings). I think it will be to your benefit to attend some meetings and learn a little more about alcoholism. I also suggest your attending some open AA meetings on your own, for the same reason. If you are going to be living with an alcoholic it is only smart to learn as much as you can.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by LexieCat
What I am saying is that I think a relapse (ANOTHER relapse) is likely.
I'm sorry if it sounds unhelpful--we all want to believe everything will turn out OK. Maybe your situation will. But there are a lot of red flags that I see, both as a recovered alcoholic and as someone who has been very close to two alcoholics (and as someone who has listened to hundreds of alcoholics share at AA meetings). I think it will be to your benefit to attend some meetings and learn a little more about alcoholism. I also suggest your attending some open AA meetings on your own, for the same reason. If you are going to be living with an alcoholic it is only smart to learn as much as you can.
I'm sorry if it sounds unhelpful--we all want to believe everything will turn out OK. Maybe your situation will. But there are a lot of red flags that I see, both as a recovered alcoholic and as someone who has been very close to two alcoholics (and as someone who has listened to hundreds of alcoholics share at AA meetings). I think it will be to your benefit to attend some meetings and learn a little more about alcoholism. I also suggest your attending some open AA meetings on your own, for the same reason. If you are going to be living with an alcoholic it is only smart to learn as much as you can.
Should I tell him I would like to go? Should I try to get him to start going again?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 342
Ten years ago when my RAH was drinking and I was just realizing he had a problem with alcohol he acted similar to what you are describing. He didn't stop drinking at the time but was trying to cut back. He would always encourage me to drink and would use me as an excuse to share a new bottle of wine with or something like that.
I can see what was going on now, after 10 years and after being separated from my RAH for 2 years when he finally made his own decision to stop drinking and seek recovery.
I agree with Lexie. I read somewhere that the relapse is many days or even months in the making and it sounds like alcoholic thinking to try to make it all work out - after all if you're enjoying drinking, why shouldn't he and then it just goes downhill from there.
I look back and see how naive I was at 24 and I think my RAH who was 34 at the time and most likely a problem drinker, headed toward functional alcoholic to eventually a non functioning alcoholic took full advantage of that.
What kind of relationship was your BF in before you met?
As I said to another poster you are close to my daughter's age and I wouldn't want her to be pressured by a BF like you are.
JMO
Take care of yourself.
I can see what was going on now, after 10 years and after being separated from my RAH for 2 years when he finally made his own decision to stop drinking and seek recovery.
I agree with Lexie. I read somewhere that the relapse is many days or even months in the making and it sounds like alcoholic thinking to try to make it all work out - after all if you're enjoying drinking, why shouldn't he and then it just goes downhill from there.
I look back and see how naive I was at 24 and I think my RAH who was 34 at the time and most likely a problem drinker, headed toward functional alcoholic to eventually a non functioning alcoholic took full advantage of that.
What kind of relationship was your BF in before you met?
As I said to another poster you are close to my daughter's age and I wouldn't want her to be pressured by a BF like you are.
JMO
Take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: New Englander in Michigan
Posts: 52
We have been to two hip hop shows, one where we didn't drink, and he kept apologizing that it wasn't as fun because I wasn't drinking, being a non drinker in general I couldn't understand his logic. Then at the second show we went to he pressured me pretty hard core to drink, he wanted me to get a buzz so I could enjoy it. I did end up having a few drinks but told him after my own limit of 2 that I didn't want anymore. I do not enjoy getting buzzed, lol it isn't my thing. He kept telling me to just take one more. I kissed him, told him I was having a blast without a buzz and asked him to stop asking.
My AXB used to say things like this because he had no clue how I could have fun without drinking. I was not really a drinker. He used to want me to drink so HE did not feel bad about his own drinking. It sounds like this is old learned behavior that your RA boyfriend is perpetuating.
Not sure how long you've been involved with him, but it seems like too much worrying about him relapsing or what he thinks and feels about everything. If you are not in Al-anon, you might want to go.
Also, if he is truly recovering and in a program, he should speak to his sponsor about this behavior- about wanting you to drink when you don't care to drink. He cannot live vicariously through you in your drinking and then get mad about it.
At any rate, you will be on this rollercoaster ride with this man until he totally gets his sh*t together and pulls himself together 100% and is truly recovering. It just does not sound like he really is 'there' yet. He needs to work harder on it, or you need to look elsewhere...maybe now is just not the time for him to be in a relationship, as it is often difficult to be in relationships when trying to recover.
Best of luck with it all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
Welcome to SR.
Unfortunately I think that hiding and drinking dayquil counts as a relapse.
He does not sound as if he is in a great place mentally if he's pushing you to drink. Just sounds confused and like maybe he is in a dry drunk frame of mind. Like maybe he understands he shouldn't be drinking, but that he hasn't come to address the underlying issues.
At any rate, you have come to the right place to get the help you need for you.
And we are all glad you are here but of course wish it wasn't necessary.
Please read around the forum, starting with the sticky posts at the top of the forum. The F&F forums, both alcoholic and drug addict will be really helpful. You'll get great advice here from a variety of people with many different experiences. It might be tough sometimes, but we all have a reason for the things we write including that we are walking our own journey with respect to loving people that have had addiction problems.
Just take what helps and leave the rest.
Peace,
Hanna
Unfortunately I think that hiding and drinking dayquil counts as a relapse.
He does not sound as if he is in a great place mentally if he's pushing you to drink. Just sounds confused and like maybe he is in a dry drunk frame of mind. Like maybe he understands he shouldn't be drinking, but that he hasn't come to address the underlying issues.
At any rate, you have come to the right place to get the help you need for you.
And we are all glad you are here but of course wish it wasn't necessary.
Please read around the forum, starting with the sticky posts at the top of the forum. The F&F forums, both alcoholic and drug addict will be really helpful. You'll get great advice here from a variety of people with many different experiences. It might be tough sometimes, but we all have a reason for the things we write including that we are walking our own journey with respect to loving people that have had addiction problems.
Just take what helps and leave the rest.
Peace,
Hanna
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Well, you might just tell him you are curious what an AA meeting is like, and ask if he'd take you to a couple. If he doesn't want to go, just go. Most meetings are "open" and anyone can attend if they want to--family, friends, students, anyone who wants to find out what it's all about.
I would go easy on "getting him" to go back to meetings. Most alcoholics get very resistant to being "pushed". You never know, though--if you take an interest he might just decide it's what he wants. Just be careful about being pushy about it.
One of the reasons I suggested Al-Anon is that you will learn about how to take care of YOURSELF and how not to get dragged down with him if he DOES have a relapse. Until you've been in the middle of one of those messes it can be hard to imagine how it feels, but let's just say it's very easy to get sucked in and all panicky and involved in trying to "fix" him. Not good for you, not good for him. The best thing for both of you is for you to stay on an even keel and take good care of yourself in the relationship.
I would go easy on "getting him" to go back to meetings. Most alcoholics get very resistant to being "pushed". You never know, though--if you take an interest he might just decide it's what he wants. Just be careful about being pushy about it.
One of the reasons I suggested Al-Anon is that you will learn about how to take care of YOURSELF and how not to get dragged down with him if he DOES have a relapse. Until you've been in the middle of one of those messes it can be hard to imagine how it feels, but let's just say it's very easy to get sucked in and all panicky and involved in trying to "fix" him. Not good for you, not good for him. The best thing for both of you is for you to stay on an even keel and take good care of yourself in the relationship.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 20
Thank you everyone for your responses, I am on my phone now so I won't type out to everyone. I see what you all are saying. Having no experience I can't agree not disagree with some of your conclusions.
He never referred to the DayQuil incident as a relapse. It was 5 days of drinking two bottles a day. He knew he had a problem and told me, that was when he showed me the hidden bottles and then he went back to aa.
Not sure what you mean about his relationship but he was a full blown non functioning alcoholic before he went into rehab. The stories he tells me are frightening, bottles of vodka littered eveyqhere, waiting at the liquor store at 6am and drinking as soon as he got into his car... He hit rock bottom when he finally got help... Almost died from alcohol poisoning. He suffers from bouts of depression, has OCD and can not handle stress well at all. It doesn't affect out relationship much as nothing seems too extreme for me. We haven't gone out recently and the drinking pressuring thing hasnt happened in about 2 months.
I'm sure if I showed interest he would go. He has told me that he doesn't really like going and he doesn't participate but I know he isnt against them. Our relationship is actually going great, he is a wonderful boyfriend, definitely some red flags though.
He never referred to the DayQuil incident as a relapse. It was 5 days of drinking two bottles a day. He knew he had a problem and told me, that was when he showed me the hidden bottles and then he went back to aa.
Not sure what you mean about his relationship but he was a full blown non functioning alcoholic before he went into rehab. The stories he tells me are frightening, bottles of vodka littered eveyqhere, waiting at the liquor store at 6am and drinking as soon as he got into his car... He hit rock bottom when he finally got help... Almost died from alcohol poisoning. He suffers from bouts of depression, has OCD and can not handle stress well at all. It doesn't affect out relationship much as nothing seems too extreme for me. We haven't gone out recently and the drinking pressuring thing hasnt happened in about 2 months.
I'm sure if I showed interest he would go. He has told me that he doesn't really like going and he doesn't participate but I know he isnt against them. Our relationship is actually going great, he is a wonderful boyfriend, definitely some red flags though.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 20
I also want to add that he has never gotten upset at me for refusing to drink, we usually end up discussing it at one point and us talking about hi he wants me to drink and me explaining that he can't keep trying to convince me to drink when I am perfectly fine having fun being sober.
Bunnies!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,905
If he has used or abused any substance, then he's NOT been sober. He's still exhibiting the behaviors of an addict, which make the odds of a relapse HUGE. If he's not drinking alcohol right now, then he's really just a dry drunk, which is all the behaviors and thoughts without the alcohol. I would be very careful with this situation. Get yourself to Al-Anon. If he wants to go to AA or another group, then that's fine, but pushing him is likely to backfire.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by NWGRITS
If he has used or abused any substance, then he's NOT been sober. He's still exhibiting the behaviors of an addict, which make the odds of a relapse HUGE. If he's not drinking alcohol right now, then he's really just a dry drunk, which is all the behaviors and thoughts without the alcohol. I would be very careful with this situation. Get yourself to Al-Anon. If he wants to go to AA or another group, then that's fine, but pushing him is likely to backfire.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
I'm Pelican, and I am a recovering alcoholic as well as the recovering ex-wife from two-marriages to alcoholics (didn't understand the first time).
I wonder if he is pushing you to drink at social functions to hide the fact that he is taking shots when you are not looking. I know I could never give a *sniff test* to an alcoholic if I had already had a sip of wine........
Especially if the pressure is being applied at outings where there are large crowds, lots of drinks, and lots of backs turned.
I'm Pelican, and I am a recovering alcoholic as well as the recovering ex-wife from two-marriages to alcoholics (didn't understand the first time).
I wonder if he is pushing you to drink at social functions to hide the fact that he is taking shots when you are not looking. I know I could never give a *sniff test* to an alcoholic if I had already had a sip of wine........
Especially if the pressure is being applied at outings where there are large crowds, lots of drinks, and lots of backs turned.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: New Englander in Michigan
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by loveaboveall
Thank you everyone for your responses, I am on my phone now so I won't type out to everyone. I see what you all are saying. Having no experience I can't agree not disagree with some of your conclusions.
He never referred to the DayQuil incident as a relapse. It was 5 days of drinking two bottles a day. He knew he had a problem and told me, that was when he showed me the hidden bottles and then he went back to aa.
Not sure what you mean about his relationship but he was a full blown non functioning alcoholic before he went into rehab. The stories he tells me are frightening, bottles of vodka littered eveyqhere, waiting at the liquor store at 6am and drinking as soon as he got into his car... He hit rock bottom when he finally got help... Almost died from alcohol poisoning. He suffers from bouts of depression, has OCD and can not handle stress well at all. It doesn't affect out relationship much as nothing seems too extreme for me. We haven't gone out recently and the drinking pressuring thing hasnt happened in about 2 months.
I'm sure if I showed interest he would go. He has told me that he doesn't really like going and he doesn't participate but I know he isnt against them. Our relationship is actually going great, he is a wonderful boyfriend, definitely some red flags though.
He never referred to the DayQuil incident as a relapse. It was 5 days of drinking two bottles a day. He knew he had a problem and told me, that was when he showed me the hidden bottles and then he went back to aa.
Not sure what you mean about his relationship but he was a full blown non functioning alcoholic before he went into rehab. The stories he tells me are frightening, bottles of vodka littered eveyqhere, waiting at the liquor store at 6am and drinking as soon as he got into his car... He hit rock bottom when he finally got help... Almost died from alcohol poisoning. He suffers from bouts of depression, has OCD and can not handle stress well at all. It doesn't affect out relationship much as nothing seems too extreme for me. We haven't gone out recently and the drinking pressuring thing hasnt happened in about 2 months.
I'm sure if I showed interest he would go. He has told me that he doesn't really like going and he doesn't participate but I know he isnt against them. Our relationship is actually going great, he is a wonderful boyfriend, definitely some red flags though.
All I can say is that when the number of excuses and explanations outweighs the fun you say you have and how great he is (outside of the 'red flags' that would send me screaming for the hills- been there done that and got the t-shirt); the deal is done and just hope that by then you're not in too deep that you have no real way to pull yourself out.
Be well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by Pelican
Welcome to the SR family!
I'm Pelican, and I am a recovering alcoholic as well as the recovering ex-wife from two-marriages to alcoholics (didn't understand the first time).
I wonder if he is pushing you to drink at social functions to hide the fact that he is taking shots when you are not looking. I know I could never give a *sniff test* to an alcoholic if I had already had a sip of wine........
Especially if the pressure is being applied at outings where there are large crowds, lots of drinks, and lots of backs turned.
I'm Pelican, and I am a recovering alcoholic as well as the recovering ex-wife from two-marriages to alcoholics (didn't understand the first time).
I wonder if he is pushing you to drink at social functions to hide the fact that he is taking shots when you are not looking. I know I could never give a *sniff test* to an alcoholic if I had already had a sip of wine........
Especially if the pressure is being applied at outings where there are large crowds, lots of drinks, and lots of backs turned.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
