A Big Book Thumpin rant
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A Big Book Thumpin rant
While I'd like to think I have perfect acceptance, and my close to 30 years of working the 12 steps have elevated me to near sainthood, it hasn't. I still get annoyed. And it happened again at a meeting tonight. I didn't get a chance to share, and I'm sure that's my HP looking out for me, but I decided I'd write here, and vent a bit. Perhaps get some other's views on the same topic.
In my area, NY, meetings are frequently visited by people many label Big Book thumpers (or nazis). While I try my best to realize the good they can bring to AA, they often wind up annoying me, and whenever they do I try to uncover exactly why. What it comes down to more often than not is that I basically feel some (not all of them) are spreading a message that is more harmful, than helpful. And they're incredibly convincing about it. I've noticed that a lot of these people are incredibly articulate, have a lot of charisma, and have their dialogue so well rehearsed that it becomes very, VERY, convincing. Tonight's particular rant is one I've heard too many times now, and I feel I need to air my $.02 about it.
It goes something like this. Bill Wilson laid out exactly how to work these steps in the Big Book. There is no reason to search anywhere else or try it any differently as this a clearly stated simple spiritual program, that works. All the answers are in the book, and you need look no further, nor listen to anyone that tells you anything outside of that book. I'm paraphrasing, but this is the gyst of the message. Also, if anyone is having problems that don't relate to NOT DRINKING, then AA is not the place to share about it. AA is to help people stop drinking, through the spiritual program laid out in the book. Not fix relationships, help people get jobs, etc. That stuff needs to be shared with a therapist, sponsor, or at some other type meeting, but at AA we share about recovery.
They say this stuff much better than I just did, but that's the basic message.
First. At any time I was hurting during my sobriety, I took it to a meeting. When I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, I shared the details. When I struggled with quitting smoking, I talked about it. When I was having tenant problems, I did the same. When my 21 yr old cat dies, people in AA will know about it. When I share exactly what's going on, it serves many purposed. Most importantly for me, it opens me up to rooms full of people who may have experienced the same. And then they can share their experience strength and hope on how they got to the other side. They may not have the direct answers I need, but they can often share a spiritual way of looking at things that I myself might be too beside myself to see. When I was 5 years sober, sharing about a particuarly bad relationship led me to a sponsor that taught me an enormous amount about staying sober through anything, and growing from the experience. As opposed to becoming resentful or remorseful. The sponsor I had before him couldn't really help much with that particular issue.
More than that, my experience shows others REAL LIFE experiences that we can work through. And they can gain strength from the fact that with the help of the people in the rooms and the 12 steps, I arrived at the other side. Our experience strength and hope is what keeps this program real, and alive.
This post is getting long... so I'll make the next part short and maybe expand if others kick in. When the Big Book was written, Bill wasn't even sober 5 years. To think that the wisdom in that book can't be improved upon, added to, changed, etc. is unfathomably shorsighted IMO. Yes, it's a solid foundation. But thousands upon thousands of people have now worked and experienced these steps with 10, 30, 50 years of sobriety... and I am going to take their experience to learn from. The people with the above rants are taking the experience of one man, a few short chapters in a book, and spewing that experience and knowledge over and over and over and over. I think it would be much more beneficial for them to share THEIR experience, their trial and errors, and maybe not sound so perfect as they do with their rehearsed banter.... arggh.... yeah, I think you get the idea. I'm done for now. Just wanted to spit that out.
There's lots more.
In my area, NY, meetings are frequently visited by people many label Big Book thumpers (or nazis). While I try my best to realize the good they can bring to AA, they often wind up annoying me, and whenever they do I try to uncover exactly why. What it comes down to more often than not is that I basically feel some (not all of them) are spreading a message that is more harmful, than helpful. And they're incredibly convincing about it. I've noticed that a lot of these people are incredibly articulate, have a lot of charisma, and have their dialogue so well rehearsed that it becomes very, VERY, convincing. Tonight's particular rant is one I've heard too many times now, and I feel I need to air my $.02 about it.
It goes something like this. Bill Wilson laid out exactly how to work these steps in the Big Book. There is no reason to search anywhere else or try it any differently as this a clearly stated simple spiritual program, that works. All the answers are in the book, and you need look no further, nor listen to anyone that tells you anything outside of that book. I'm paraphrasing, but this is the gyst of the message. Also, if anyone is having problems that don't relate to NOT DRINKING, then AA is not the place to share about it. AA is to help people stop drinking, through the spiritual program laid out in the book. Not fix relationships, help people get jobs, etc. That stuff needs to be shared with a therapist, sponsor, or at some other type meeting, but at AA we share about recovery.
They say this stuff much better than I just did, but that's the basic message.
First. At any time I was hurting during my sobriety, I took it to a meeting. When I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, I shared the details. When I struggled with quitting smoking, I talked about it. When I was having tenant problems, I did the same. When my 21 yr old cat dies, people in AA will know about it. When I share exactly what's going on, it serves many purposed. Most importantly for me, it opens me up to rooms full of people who may have experienced the same. And then they can share their experience strength and hope on how they got to the other side. They may not have the direct answers I need, but they can often share a spiritual way of looking at things that I myself might be too beside myself to see. When I was 5 years sober, sharing about a particuarly bad relationship led me to a sponsor that taught me an enormous amount about staying sober through anything, and growing from the experience. As opposed to becoming resentful or remorseful. The sponsor I had before him couldn't really help much with that particular issue.
More than that, my experience shows others REAL LIFE experiences that we can work through. And they can gain strength from the fact that with the help of the people in the rooms and the 12 steps, I arrived at the other side. Our experience strength and hope is what keeps this program real, and alive.
This post is getting long... so I'll make the next part short and maybe expand if others kick in. When the Big Book was written, Bill wasn't even sober 5 years. To think that the wisdom in that book can't be improved upon, added to, changed, etc. is unfathomably shorsighted IMO. Yes, it's a solid foundation. But thousands upon thousands of people have now worked and experienced these steps with 10, 30, 50 years of sobriety... and I am going to take their experience to learn from. The people with the above rants are taking the experience of one man, a few short chapters in a book, and spewing that experience and knowledge over and over and over and over. I think it would be much more beneficial for them to share THEIR experience, their trial and errors, and maybe not sound so perfect as they do with their rehearsed banter.... arggh.... yeah, I think you get the idea. I'm done for now. Just wanted to spit that out.
There's lots more.
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Originally Posted by tomsteve 
i think you've been missing a line from the BB
we realize we only know a little.
we realize we only know a little.
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I agree with you Joe. I've seen that happen in meetings where "if it's not in the big book, it's not discussed." Nonsense!
My sponsor is very good about using the big book, or passages in the big book, to give me proper coping skills and tools of recovery for when life happens.
Not sure where that mentality, or when, it came about. Bill and Dr. Bob era old-timers didn't even have a book the first 4 years of the program.
Zube
My sponsor is very good about using the big book, or passages in the big book, to give me proper coping skills and tools of recovery for when life happens.
Not sure where that mentality, or when, it came about. Bill and Dr. Bob era old-timers didn't even have a book the first 4 years of the program.
Zube
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I share my experience with the work outlined in the book, i share the good stuff and i share my pitfalls.....
The BB is not one persons experience...its 70 ish, depending on what archive you read.
I don't share to much about my drinking...cos we all know how to drink and what happens...i don't share about relationship, because its nobody business...and i don't spew a bad day all over the table...until ive found a solution , then ill share the problem and the solution i found.
AA does not own the rights to recovery from alcoholism nor a spiritual awakening.... that's been going on for centuries, via a million options ranging from sitting in a cave in India...to full blown re-born religious experiences.
I've heard a lot of weird and wonderful stuff at meetings over the period of sobriety.....ranging from close to devil worship, to the guy that had a resentment because his new mower wouldn't put stripes in his lawn...at times i felt like dumping meeting altogether.
And then....you see those young uns...come in, pitiful and wishing for the end.....only to come back a week later, with a book under their arm and a light in their eyes.........and it just seems all worth it .
The BB is not one persons experience...its 70 ish, depending on what archive you read.
I don't share to much about my drinking...cos we all know how to drink and what happens...i don't share about relationship, because its nobody business...and i don't spew a bad day all over the table...until ive found a solution , then ill share the problem and the solution i found.
AA does not own the rights to recovery from alcoholism nor a spiritual awakening.... that's been going on for centuries, via a million options ranging from sitting in a cave in India...to full blown re-born religious experiences.
I've heard a lot of weird and wonderful stuff at meetings over the period of sobriety.....ranging from close to devil worship, to the guy that had a resentment because his new mower wouldn't put stripes in his lawn...at times i felt like dumping meeting altogether.
And then....you see those young uns...come in, pitiful and wishing for the end.....only to come back a week later, with a book under their arm and a light in their eyes.........and it just seems all worth it .
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Originally Posted by Joe Nerv
When the Big Book was written, Bill wasn't even sober 5 years. To think that the wisdom in that book can't be improved upon, added to, changed, etc. is unfathomably shorsighted IMO.
All that being said, I'm really happy that when I was new people were talking about how to go a day without a drink and not doing Dear Abby topics. I found that the ride to and from meetings, going out for coffee afterwards, at the break, before and after, or on the phone with my circle of associates was the best venue for me to address my personal issues.
There comes a time where I needed to consider the primary purpose isn't for me to have group therapy and feel happy, it's to help the next guy stop drinking and stay stopped. Really all things considered even by big book odds (50%, 75%, etc.) we're only a C average on staying sober and that's supposed to be our primary purpose. IMHO we are for the most part (collectively if not individually) grossly under qualified to help people with other issues.
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I have lots of thoughts and reactions on this subject.
One thing I heard from the start of my 12 step journey was that when I heard something at a meeting that made me roll my eyes or squirm in my seat, to acknowledge that THAT share might be the very thing another person needed to hear that night.
Indeed, I find that I've benefitted from a variety of styles of shares, even the one's i didn't much like hearing. On the other hand, there have been times I needed to excuse myself so I didn't get my dander up.
Ultimately one of the reasons I went NA rather than AA ( I have a history of drug abuse as well as alcohol abuse) was the language of the BB. I don't oppose the message, but it was written in a different culture than I grew up in. Yes, the same country but a very very different culture and I found myself reacting to the language and some of the cultural aspects and it kept me from accepting the truth and the message.
NA speaks in a language I can understand better. I don't fight the message just because of the messenger, which I found myself doing often when I read the BB.
Same thing with my spiritual practice. I find that I do better when I "Translate" things into the language and practice of my faith. I progress more because I am resisting less.
I think that as in any philosophy, one can accept it, try to change what others think of it, or move on to another that better suits their understanding of the world.
AA states from the start that it has one purpose. It states the sort of person that can be helped by it, it's honest about what it is, what it isn't etc.
As you say, it was written by one person, and their experience with a small group of other people. It's honest about that as well.
People, like they will, have taken it in a variety of directions that they found best suited their needs and experience.
I guess what I am saying, in a long winded manner, is that I understand both sides, and they make valid points. In the end I have to find what helps me maintain my sobriety and grow as a person, and in my case a spiritual person.
I have laid down my arms when it comes to challenging the way someone else does their program, because it was distracting me from my own. In my case that meant moving to NA, and even to explore some other 12 step programs, not because there is anything wrong with AA, but because of my own experience and understandings, I had a hard time connecting.
I gain so much from the people on SR who are AA. The program works for those who work it, BUT you have to be able to work it, and sometimes there are real issues that keep a person from being able to. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the program or those people, it's just a compatibility thing.
One thing I heard from the start of my 12 step journey was that when I heard something at a meeting that made me roll my eyes or squirm in my seat, to acknowledge that THAT share might be the very thing another person needed to hear that night.
Indeed, I find that I've benefitted from a variety of styles of shares, even the one's i didn't much like hearing. On the other hand, there have been times I needed to excuse myself so I didn't get my dander up.
Ultimately one of the reasons I went NA rather than AA ( I have a history of drug abuse as well as alcohol abuse) was the language of the BB. I don't oppose the message, but it was written in a different culture than I grew up in. Yes, the same country but a very very different culture and I found myself reacting to the language and some of the cultural aspects and it kept me from accepting the truth and the message.
NA speaks in a language I can understand better. I don't fight the message just because of the messenger, which I found myself doing often when I read the BB.
Same thing with my spiritual practice. I find that I do better when I "Translate" things into the language and practice of my faith. I progress more because I am resisting less.
I think that as in any philosophy, one can accept it, try to change what others think of it, or move on to another that better suits their understanding of the world.
AA states from the start that it has one purpose. It states the sort of person that can be helped by it, it's honest about what it is, what it isn't etc.
As you say, it was written by one person, and their experience with a small group of other people. It's honest about that as well.
People, like they will, have taken it in a variety of directions that they found best suited their needs and experience.
I guess what I am saying, in a long winded manner, is that I understand both sides, and they make valid points. In the end I have to find what helps me maintain my sobriety and grow as a person, and in my case a spiritual person.
I have laid down my arms when it comes to challenging the way someone else does their program, because it was distracting me from my own. In my case that meant moving to NA, and even to explore some other 12 step programs, not because there is anything wrong with AA, but because of my own experience and understandings, I had a hard time connecting.
I gain so much from the people on SR who are AA. The program works for those who work it, BUT you have to be able to work it, and sometimes there are real issues that keep a person from being able to. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the program or those people, it's just a compatibility thing.
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Originally Posted by Joe Nerv
Not me missing it. Them missing it. Can you give me a page to use as a reminder when necessary?
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Hi Joe, I think you're quite right to feel the way you do.
I believe, like many others that this illness is both mentally and physical so if *your cat dying* upsets you or similar experiences then they should be shared.
I believe, like many others that this illness is both mentally and physical so if *your cat dying* upsets you or similar experiences then they should be shared.
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Hi Joe. I never tell anyone they're wrong for feeling the way they feel. I just try to remind them that feelings aren't facts; they're just feelings and can change in an instant.
When I hear a Big Book thumper thump, I use it as a reminder to get back to basics. There are far too many people who come to AA today thinking they know way more than they know, just because they've been through 15 treatment centers, and have slipped and slided their way to success but can't seem to string together more than a couple months dry. I for one also believe that the Big Book and 12 and 12 are the only two books I need to STUDY in order to get sober and stay that way. Whatever else I choose to read, after I've STUDIED the aforementioned books is gravy.
I suggest that maybe the reason you're upset is because the so-called Big Book ranter has just poked you in the "I". Back to Basics my friend. People still take what they want and leave the rest. Remember the SPIRITUAL AXIOM OF THE TENTH STEP. When I get upset about anything what-so-ever, there's something wrong with me. People could hear a lot worse than READ AND STUDY THE BIG BOOK. THE ANSWERS ARE THERE IF YOU LOOK FOR THEM.
When I hear a Big Book thumper thump, I use it as a reminder to get back to basics. There are far too many people who come to AA today thinking they know way more than they know, just because they've been through 15 treatment centers, and have slipped and slided their way to success but can't seem to string together more than a couple months dry. I for one also believe that the Big Book and 12 and 12 are the only two books I need to STUDY in order to get sober and stay that way. Whatever else I choose to read, after I've STUDIED the aforementioned books is gravy.
I suggest that maybe the reason you're upset is because the so-called Big Book ranter has just poked you in the "I". Back to Basics my friend. People still take what they want and leave the rest. Remember the SPIRITUAL AXIOM OF THE TENTH STEP. When I get upset about anything what-so-ever, there's something wrong with me. People could hear a lot worse than READ AND STUDY THE BIG BOOK. THE ANSWERS ARE THERE IF YOU LOOK FOR THEM.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Not sure what I can add about this thread. Will continue to listen. The messages are clear. I like tomsteve pointing out p.164 "We realize we know only a little."
Interesting topic, thanks.
Interesting topic, thanks.
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Originally Posted by Music
I suggest that maybe the reason you're upset is because the so-called Big Book ranter has just poked you in the "I".
I also believe that we get burned up when people do things that we ourselves work hard at not doing. And I noticed that the big book thumpers that get to me the most are the ones that seem like the best salespeople. So their winds up hitting me on different levels. First, I work at being as honest as I can about my program of recovery, and am ever conscious of keeping my story focused on MY experience. I learned early on to keep "you" out of my shares and qualifications. I can't talk for anybody else because I don't know what will and won't work for anybody else. If someone likes what I have to say and wants to know more I'll be happy to share, but I'll never force anything down anybody's throat, nor suggest that my way is right and their's isn't. These people do that, in spades. And heavily suggest that if you don't do it their way (the big book way) that you're just plain wrong, and will probably die. Or at the very least, drink again. I'll go as far as to say that some of them enjoy seeing people who don't do it their way drink. I have experience to back that statement up also, but don't want to get into it now. I'll just say that, well, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt (as does everyone else if they get honest with themselves) that that simply and clearly isn't true. People get sober without bigbooks, 12 steps, or even AA for that matter.
As for the other stuff, and looking at myself, I believe I admire the salesmanship these people have. The charisma. They sometimes almost convince me of the most arrant nonesense, simply because they are gifted with public speaking skills that I lack. I speak my mind at meetings, but when I know something I have to say might be controversial or in clear opposition of what someone else has said, I often either keep my mouth shut or wind up flubbing some of my words. In a public debate these people would probably pound me into the ground. Because I was born an introvert, and while I've made enormous strides... I still shake and rattle a little when speaking in front of any audience.
In a somewhat related note, I have realized what it is that urks me about hearing people talk about doing "the work". That phrase around my parts usually immediately identifies the person as one of the thumpers. This is a relatively new expression. Back in the day people would talk about going through the steps, using the tools, and I guess at time would also say working the steps - but "doing" and "going through the work" has a different twist on it. For me. 2 things that don't sit right about that with me.
First - I associate work with doing something distateful, or that I don't want to do, in order to get some sort of payback. I myself didn't struggle with these steps, it wasn't "work" for me. I enjoyed and still enjoy the journey. The steps are tools I can use, or not, and I only benefit. If I ever did any work in the program that work was getting on my knees and asking God to show me the way, and give me the strength to put one foot in front of the other.
Second and more importantly - "doing the work" implies to me that I've worked hard for my sobriety. Which in turn would mean I'm responsible for it. And if I "quit" doing this work, then guess what? What does this say about the idea of powerlessness, or the fact that God is the one who removes this obsession? Either I'm going to turn my life and my will over to God, or not. If I'm doing the work to stay sober, well then the responsibility is in my hands. The way people often refer to "going through the work" also implies that they did something really tough that they're proud about getting to the other side of. And therefore just a little bit smarter, and better than other who "didn't do the work".
Bla, bla, bla......
Oh yeah, my apologies if I offend anyone here with my "whinin", but if it bugs you, nobody's forcing you to read any of it. And if anyone ever told me at a meeting to quit my whinin, they're not the people I'd ever go to for any sort of direction. Kind of tells me a lot about where their recovery is at.
And finally, yeah I'm ranting here, but this isn't the focus of my life. Just something I need to air out and choosing to do with the best tool I have at my disposal. Which right now is this forum.
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The book also states that I must be hard on myself yet considerate of others. This isn't one of those suggestions either. It starts the sentence on Pg 74 by saying "the rule is". To me that means that I'm going to do any thumping of the book it's going to be with a mirror right in front of me and without an audience. To be considerate means that there's always the possibility that nobody else wants to hear it. All I can do is pass on what works for me. That comes with giving up the role of playing God.
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Originally Posted by Joe Nerv
I'll never force anything down anybody's throat, nor suggest that my way is right and their's isn't. These people do that, in spades. And heavily suggest that if you don't do it their way (the big book way) that you're just plain wrong, and will probably die. Or at the very least, drink again. I'll go as far as to say that some of them enjoy seeing people who don't do it their way drink. I have experience to back that statement up also, but don't want to get into it now. I'll just say that, well, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt (as does everyone else if they get honest with themselves) that that simply and clearly isn't true. People get sober without bigbooks, 12 steps, or even AA for that matter.
the person may also display dominance, arrogance, show superiority, and seek power.[6] The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder can be similar to the traits of individuals with strong self-esteem and confidence; differentiation occurs when the underlying psychological structures of these traits are considered pathological. Narcissists have such an elevated sense of self-worth that they value themselves as inherently better than others. Yet, they have a fragile self-esteem and cannot handle criticism, and will often try to compensate for this inner fragility by belittling or disparaging others in an attempt to validate their own self-worth. It is this sadistic tendency that is characteristic of narcissism as opposed to other psychological conditions affecting level of self-worth.
Generaly I find it is this type of person and a flock of weak willed followers that do the sort of thing you describe. I've seen it and personally don't like it because I had plenty of those emotional bullies try to threaten my sobriety before I knew better and it really really scared me.
I find that it's not that they're pushing that you read the book, but must look to THEM to properly interpret it for you or whatever you are doing has no value. I've found a lot of people that try to use my back as a rung on their way up the self esteem ladder. I'm awful glad I have been armed with the tools to defend myself from this.
Anyway, I found it funny how the sort of person that wouldn't shake my hand when I was shivering and shaking was the first one to come out of the woodwork when I had strung together a month or two of sobriety and tell me I was staying sober wrong.
Interesting observations anyway.
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I was at a meeting where one of these guys shared after a woman spoke for about 2 minutes about her marriage breaking up. She was crying. He followed with a powerful, if not angry, rant on how our problems should be aired with a sponsor, not in the rooms. That pushed me enough to open my mouth, and it was one of the few occasions I spoke very articulately... and drove home the ideas in my OP. That it is important for me if I'm hurting to let people know, and that that's how I learned to apply these steps to real life situations. And get to the other side of them
A week or 2 later that same person qualified at the meeting, and went on a rant that was clearly directed at some of the things I said. I was pretty certain he was pissed at me, and rather than make assumptions, and in an effort to make peace I approached him to talk after his qualification. Basically wanted to just let him know I was on the same team, and didn't mean anything I said as an attack. I told him I felt I needed to express the flip side of the coin. His response was, "No. We're not on the same team!" He walked away from me. Still won't even acknowledge me at meetings. Out of thousands of people I've encountered at AA, he's the fist and only that won't talk to me.
Very much fits the narcissistic description above.
A week or 2 later that same person qualified at the meeting, and went on a rant that was clearly directed at some of the things I said. I was pretty certain he was pissed at me, and rather than make assumptions, and in an effort to make peace I approached him to talk after his qualification. Basically wanted to just let him know I was on the same team, and didn't mean anything I said as an attack. I told him I felt I needed to express the flip side of the coin. His response was, "No. We're not on the same team!" He walked away from me. Still won't even acknowledge me at meetings. Out of thousands of people I've encountered at AA, he's the fist and only that won't talk to me.
Very much fits the narcissistic description above.
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Hi Joe,
Thanks for this post. I came into AA thirty-four years ago and I started writing a similar post a couple of times yesterday. My point is, you are not alone. I posted a response to someone yesterday and recieved an angry response from a third party that said something to the effect of, 'I don't care what the courts decided, the founders said so - it's in the Big Book and that settles it.' It sounded alot like, 'I don't care what proof you have, Jesus said it, it's in the Bible and that settles it.' I see the BB thumpers as the religious element in AA and a liability for a program meant to be inclusive.
Though it may sound arrogant, the fact of the matter is that I have stayed sober many times longer than any AA member had been at the time of the big books writing. Many of the original contributors had a slip after they contributed and it has been my observation that if a person slips, comes back and stays sober - that they learned something along the way...something they didn't know the first time. For the original bunch, that means they didn't know something that they probably would have put in the book this time.
Fact is, since more will be revealed and since this is a journey...if I haven't learned more after twenty, thirty or more years trudging the happy road of destiny than the founders had after four - then I'm not working a very good program.
Just one members opinion.
Thanks for this post. I came into AA thirty-four years ago and I started writing a similar post a couple of times yesterday. My point is, you are not alone. I posted a response to someone yesterday and recieved an angry response from a third party that said something to the effect of, 'I don't care what the courts decided, the founders said so - it's in the Big Book and that settles it.' It sounded alot like, 'I don't care what proof you have, Jesus said it, it's in the Bible and that settles it.' I see the BB thumpers as the religious element in AA and a liability for a program meant to be inclusive.
Though it may sound arrogant, the fact of the matter is that I have stayed sober many times longer than any AA member had been at the time of the big books writing. Many of the original contributors had a slip after they contributed and it has been my observation that if a person slips, comes back and stays sober - that they learned something along the way...something they didn't know the first time. For the original bunch, that means they didn't know something that they probably would have put in the book this time.
Fact is, since more will be revealed and since this is a journey...if I haven't learned more after twenty, thirty or more years trudging the happy road of destiny than the founders had after four - then I'm not working a very good program.
Just one members opinion.
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Joe
I am a flexible big book thumper in a sort of way.
More important than that,I try to live it and then I have something of value to share besides the problem.My second sponsor called it "translating the book into our lives"-
thats the hard part.Thumping and preaching gets on my nerves and apparently yours too.
When someone humbly shares how they live the program and the results they get it lights a fire in my soul.It attracts me to the power within them and their peace and serenity.
Preaching and quoting the book can be done by anyone,and it repels a lot of AA folks.
My second sponsor talked to me about a lot of stuff,like a balance in his marriage,finding happiness in life,helping others,and much more.
I did not know it at the time,but he was sharing how he translated the book into his life without book thumping.
He died some yrs ago,and I now know he had made the transition from book thumping to living it and being able to share the program without repeling people and book thumping.He was a wise old timer.Those thumpers may make it one day,I hope so
I am a flexible big book thumper in a sort of way.
More important than that,I try to live it and then I have something of value to share besides the problem.My second sponsor called it "translating the book into our lives"-
thats the hard part.Thumping and preaching gets on my nerves and apparently yours too.
When someone humbly shares how they live the program and the results they get it lights a fire in my soul.It attracts me to the power within them and their peace and serenity.
Preaching and quoting the book can be done by anyone,and it repels a lot of AA folks.
My second sponsor talked to me about a lot of stuff,like a balance in his marriage,finding happiness in life,helping others,and much more.
I did not know it at the time,but he was sharing how he translated the book into his life without book thumping.
He died some yrs ago,and I now know he had made the transition from book thumping to living it and being able to share the program without repeling people and book thumping.He was a wise old timer.Those thumpers may make it one day,I hope so
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