I was at a meeting where one of these guys shared after a woman spoke for about 2 minutes about her marriage breaking up. She was crying. He followed with a powerful, if not angry, rant on how our problems should be aired with a sponsor, not in the rooms. That pushed me enough to open my mouth, and it was one of the few occasions I spoke very articulately... and drove home the ideas in my OP. That it is important for me if I'm hurting to let people know, and that that's how I learned to apply these steps to real life situations. And get to the other side of them
A week or 2 later that same person qualified at the meeting, and went on a rant that was clearly directed at some of the things I said. I was pretty certain he was pissed at me, and rather than make assumptions, and in an effort to make peace I approached him to talk after his qualification. Basically wanted to just let him know I was on the same team, and didn't mean anything I said as an attack. I told him I felt I needed to express the flip side of the coin. His response was, "No. We're not on the same team!" He walked away from me. Still won't even acknowledge me at meetings. Out of thousands of people I've encountered at AA, he's the fist and only that won't talk to me.
Very much fits the narcissistic description above.