Finally, he is sick
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Finally, he is sick
I have been waiting.....how long until he started getting sick well today is the day (chronic pancreatitis).
The last i knew of him drinking was Wednesday night. He was having a grand old time (thinking again I didn't know)
Yesterday he didn't get out of bed much to my knowledge. if he was drinking I don't know I wasn't there until late. He was aleep when I got home.
He woke up this morning completely confused, making no sense. He is hurting bad, He just called me to tell me we can't go out tonight he is too sick (we had no plans to go out I am working this was discussed at length just this morning). He sounds horrible, almost like he is dreaming while wide awake.
A pivotal moment. Does he decide to drink to "make" it go away or does he say to himself I am headed to the hospital I gotta stop now.
Odds are he drinks. But any prayers out there that the one lick of sense that might still be in him would be appreciated.
Thanks for letting me vent and thank you for just being here.
The last i knew of him drinking was Wednesday night. He was having a grand old time (thinking again I didn't know)
Yesterday he didn't get out of bed much to my knowledge. if he was drinking I don't know I wasn't there until late. He was aleep when I got home.
He woke up this morning completely confused, making no sense. He is hurting bad, He just called me to tell me we can't go out tonight he is too sick (we had no plans to go out I am working this was discussed at length just this morning). He sounds horrible, almost like he is dreaming while wide awake.
A pivotal moment. Does he decide to drink to "make" it go away or does he say to himself I am headed to the hospital I gotta stop now.
Odds are he drinks. But any prayers out there that the one lick of sense that might still be in him would be appreciated.
Thanks for letting me vent and thank you for just being here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
It sucks when that other shoe drops. I'm sorry you are going through this; how disappointing. I hope he makes the right decision, but more than that, I hope your strength and focus carries you through this difficulty regardless of his choice.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
Might be an idea to get him to a doctor. Could be the liver.
If he is making no sense, it may be HE (Hepatic encephalopathy) toxins in the brain.
I don't want to scare you but I have liver disease. Just keep an eye on him.
If he is making no sense, it may be HE (Hepatic encephalopathy) toxins in the brain.
I don't want to scare you but I have liver disease. Just keep an eye on him.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm sorry you are going through this. I used to be a nurse (my own addiction ended that career) and pancreatitis can be pretty serious. I know you can't make him go to a dr. if he doesn't want to, but prayers are going up that he is hurting bad enough he gets to a dr. and it sinks into his head that drinking is not a good thing.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Thanks all for your prayers. It is not a full blown pancreatitis attack - he does feel really crappy and boy is he taking it out on me.
Why do we all stay in situations like this? So much chaos. I came home from a very long day of work to walk into getting cussed out because of my cat.
What is wrong with me? Why can't I seem to tel lhim to get the F**K out? Am I happy? Sometimes. Not enough. Upset too much. Management control all the time. Constantly being told what I need to do or have not done.I told him tonight I am tired of always bending to do 'whatever it takes" to make him happy - and happy isn't the right word. To keep him from getting upset would be better.
He called me a F*****g B***ch and told me its me that I always gets my way. This isn't right!!! I know its not I advise people on here GET OUT and I can't do it myself.
Too many times I say I don't want this. I haven't married him and we have been together for two years. I won't do it. Yet I am still with him.
Madness. Its just absolutely crazy. I wasn't raised like this, I don't come from abuse, I have a very functional loving family that would be appalled to know how he talks to me sometimes.
Why do we all stay in situations like this? So much chaos. I came home from a very long day of work to walk into getting cussed out because of my cat.
What is wrong with me? Why can't I seem to tel lhim to get the F**K out? Am I happy? Sometimes. Not enough. Upset too much. Management control all the time. Constantly being told what I need to do or have not done.I told him tonight I am tired of always bending to do 'whatever it takes" to make him happy - and happy isn't the right word. To keep him from getting upset would be better.
He called me a F*****g B***ch and told me its me that I always gets my way. This isn't right!!! I know its not I advise people on here GET OUT and I can't do it myself.
Too many times I say I don't want this. I haven't married him and we have been together for two years. I won't do it. Yet I am still with him.
Madness. Its just absolutely crazy. I wasn't raised like this, I don't come from abuse, I have a very functional loving family that would be appalled to know how he talks to me sometimes.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
"He called me a F*****g B***ch and told me its me that I always gets my way."
This is abuse, and IMO is totally unacceptable, a deal breaker.
Have you considered therapy? There is a reason that you tolerate his bad behavior, not once,but over and over again.
You deserve so much better, however,no one but you can do this for you.
This is abuse, and IMO is totally unacceptable, a deal breaker.
Have you considered therapy? There is a reason that you tolerate his bad behavior, not once,but over and over again.
You deserve so much better, however,no one but you can do this for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
No I don't go to therapy.
I have started at al anon. And for the first time I woke up this morning an I can't stand him. Because after I wrote last night I got the gamut of him first telling me everything in the world that is wrong with me (which came down to I leave socks on the floor and don't clean the fridge enough). That I can be easily replaced, that I think I do a lot around in here, but in reality I don't, that there are many things wrong with me but he doesn't want to hurt my feelings by telling them to me.
So I told him as a friend it is my advise that he should leave because I am not the type of person that he should be with - so seriously, get yourself a new place and stop living here with me. Do what's best for you , I am not best for you.
Then I got tears, apologies, racking tears, and was told I am the most wonderful woman in the world with the biggest heart. BLAH BLAH BLAH.
I was surprised I woke this morning feeling the way I do its unlike me. I usually would wake and feel sorry for him and figure out something to do to make HIM feel better. Instead I can't stand him. I am sick of his appalling behavior.
Good for me. Finally.
I have started at al anon. And for the first time I woke up this morning an I can't stand him. Because after I wrote last night I got the gamut of him first telling me everything in the world that is wrong with me (which came down to I leave socks on the floor and don't clean the fridge enough). That I can be easily replaced, that I think I do a lot around in here, but in reality I don't, that there are many things wrong with me but he doesn't want to hurt my feelings by telling them to me.
So I told him as a friend it is my advise that he should leave because I am not the type of person that he should be with - so seriously, get yourself a new place and stop living here with me. Do what's best for you , I am not best for you.
Then I got tears, apologies, racking tears, and was told I am the most wonderful woman in the world with the biggest heart. BLAH BLAH BLAH.
I was surprised I woke this morning feeling the way I do its unlike me. I usually would wake and feel sorry for him and figure out something to do to make HIM feel better. Instead I can't stand him. I am sick of his appalling behavior.
Good for me. Finally.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Originally Posted by redatlanta 
So I told him as a friend it is my advise that he should leave because I am not the type of person that he should be with - so seriously, get yourself a new place and stop living here with me. Do what's best for you , I am not best for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
I lived your life...I remember being where you are emotionally. You know the frog in boiling water analogy...right? That's you. That was me.
One day you just wake up and open your eyes and ears and REALLY see and hear what is going on... Maybe this is your wake-up call...your bottom. We have our bottom too.
You can't fix things for him. You can't 'make him happy'. That's an inside job. But you CAN make you happy and safe and joyous and free. Keep going to al anon. I think it saved my life...quite literally.
Hugs and understanding...
Mary
One day you just wake up and open your eyes and ears and REALLY see and hear what is going on... Maybe this is your wake-up call...your bottom. We have our bottom too.
You can't fix things for him. You can't 'make him happy'. That's an inside job. But you CAN make you happy and safe and joyous and free. Keep going to al anon. I think it saved my life...quite literally.
Hugs and understanding...
Mary
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Dear redatlanta, I think the frog analogy, that Outonalimb mentions, has a lot of application for you. It is so good that you have already started alanon, already!
Please, grab onto alanon and hang on like it is a liferaft---because that is what it has been for so many who have also walked in your shoes. And, the serenity prayer, too.!!
Hang around and post any time you need to,
Dandylion
Please, grab onto alanon and hang on like it is a liferaft---because that is what it has been for so many who have also walked in your shoes. And, the serenity prayer, too.!!
Hang around and post any time you need to,
Dandylion
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