Hi, I'm new!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: maldives
Posts: 34
Hi, I'm new!
Hi everybody,
I've joined this forum as i feel i need a bit of support in my mission to be free from the control of alcohol. I've had issues with drinking from my teens (im 35 now), its a case of if i don't drink i'm ok i used to have 2 or 3 days off alcohol and then drop back into the habit believing i was ok. My main issue is if i have 1, i will continue drinking until i'm a mess. I believe this has had a massive effect on my last 2 relationships, while i'm trying to get the last one back on track, i'm doing this for me, not her. I've been 5 days dry now but am really getting pressured by these horrible cravings that i'm getting. Its driving me insane, i'm determined not to give up, so i've come here hopefully to meet like minded people who might just help me through this difficult time.
John
I've joined this forum as i feel i need a bit of support in my mission to be free from the control of alcohol. I've had issues with drinking from my teens (im 35 now), its a case of if i don't drink i'm ok i used to have 2 or 3 days off alcohol and then drop back into the habit believing i was ok. My main issue is if i have 1, i will continue drinking until i'm a mess. I believe this has had a massive effect on my last 2 relationships, while i'm trying to get the last one back on track, i'm doing this for me, not her. I've been 5 days dry now but am really getting pressured by these horrible cravings that i'm getting. Its driving me insane, i'm determined not to give up, so i've come here hopefully to meet like minded people who might just help me through this difficult time.
John
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Welcome John 
Glad you found us, great place to get some suppor and views on our diesase..
I didnt start getting sober till 39 and started in my teens also.. I can just tell you that sobriety is truly a great way to go..
Keep reading and posting.
Glad you found us, great place to get some suppor and views on our diesase..
I didnt start getting sober till 39 and started in my teens also.. I can just tell you that sobriety is truly a great way to go..
Keep reading and posting.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 590
Welcome. Glad you posted. I think you will find a lot of support and insight here.
Hopefully that will help. Might be worth thinking of your next plan or steps too though in the event that you need a little more help. A good face-to-face program such as AA, SMART, AVRT or others seems to benefit a lot of folks.
Glad you are here. Keep posting and reading. Things can get better!
Hopefully that will help. Might be worth thinking of your next plan or steps too though in the event that you need a little more help. A good face-to-face program such as AA, SMART, AVRT or others seems to benefit a lot of folks.
Glad you are here. Keep posting and reading. Things can get better!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: maldives
Posts: 34
Thanks everyone.
Don't think i'm anywhere a face to face program, I live on a small island in Thailand unfortunately.
I don't really have any type of plan either, i was just going to try to get through this myself (and now with you guys!) by going cold turkey. Obviously I need to change some of my habits such as going for an after work beer and things, I've been keeping out the way of any social events as i don't think i can really be strong enough to sit around whilst everyone drinks. I was with one of my friends who was drinking yesterday and i kept looking at his beer thinking- that looks nice. Its the cravings that are getting bad, i'm determined to get through this though so am not going to cave in. Any ideas on how long these cravings last for, that's what i'm struggling with most, i'm sure its different for everyone but a general figure would be great so i can try to work towards something.
Don't think i'm anywhere a face to face program, I live on a small island in Thailand unfortunately.
I don't really have any type of plan either, i was just going to try to get through this myself (and now with you guys!) by going cold turkey. Obviously I need to change some of my habits such as going for an after work beer and things, I've been keeping out the way of any social events as i don't think i can really be strong enough to sit around whilst everyone drinks. I was with one of my friends who was drinking yesterday and i kept looking at his beer thinking- that looks nice. Its the cravings that are getting bad, i'm determined to get through this though so am not going to cave in. Any ideas on how long these cravings last for, that's what i'm struggling with most, i'm sure its different for everyone but a general figure would be great so i can try to work towards something.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi John - welcome
I can't remember how long my cravings lasted for exactly but things were a lot easier after 30 days for me, I remember that.
Peoples mileage varies tho - don't panic!
This technique was useful for me - it may be for you too?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
We have quite a few people here from Asia - you might be surprised at whats available for face to face help, if you want that
You'll certainly find a ton of support here anyway
D
I can't remember how long my cravings lasted for exactly but things were a lot easier after 30 days for me, I remember that.
Peoples mileage varies tho - don't panic!
This technique was useful for me - it may be for you too?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
We have quite a few people here from Asia - you might be surprised at whats available for face to face help, if you want that
You'll certainly find a ton of support here anyway
D
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
my first month was really rough. when i was getting close to my first month sober i even started planning a little "party" for myself to reward my good behavior. you know, a couple drinks. i'd earned it. all that kept me from drinking was the fact that i was learning that i'd found something special. something, precious. you, on the other hand, haven't had time yet to form that relationship with sobriety. i think that's a big part of what makes the first month hard (in addition to the physical cravings and the braking of the bad habits and so many other things). i think right now, you need to focus on some some diversionary tactics. for me, it was (still is) reading, AA meetings, cooking, coloring (i know? like a grade school kid!), posting and reading a ton on SR and music. i found that i had to break my brain of the cyclical thinking a crave would throw me into. now, i've formed such a strong bond with my sobriety that when i do crave, my sobriety is rarely in jeopardy. it takes time and it's a lot of buckling down and gritting your teeth in the beginning but it does get "easier." it becomes less of an effort the more you make it your lifestyle. glad to have you as part of the community. welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome to SR, John you've come to the right place.
Congrats on making this decision and for your 5 days. I'm really pleased for you.
The cravings will get easier the longer you say no to them. The less control you let them have over your body and your thoughts, the stronger you will be. They won't disappear overnight, but there's no need for you to listen to them as though they are gospel. They are not commands... you don't have to give that voice any power over you.
Wishing you all the best.
you've come to the right place. Congrats on making this decision and for your 5 days. I'm really pleased for you.
The cravings will get easier the longer you say no to them. The less control you let them have over your body and your thoughts, the stronger you will be. They won't disappear overnight, but there's no need for you to listen to them as though they are gospel. They are not commands... you don't have to give that voice any power over you.
Wishing you all the best.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hi John ,
I used to drink like you .. a few days off then get wrecked ... for me my tollerance only got larger as i carried on drinking .
Quite often i believe us drinkers druggers use alcohol or drugs to blott out uncomfortable feelings as well as just for the effect, so when you get sober you sometimes need to learn new ways of coping and dealing with feelings .
Getting over the immediate effects of alcohol is pritty quick , 3 days was good for me , 3 weeks excellent , 3 months and i felt completely different .. 6 months and a depression i did'nt know i had started to lift ..
5 days
Bestwishes, M
I used to drink like you .. a few days off then get wrecked ... for me my tollerance only got larger as i carried on drinking .
Quite often i believe us drinkers druggers use alcohol or drugs to blott out uncomfortable feelings as well as just for the effect, so when you get sober you sometimes need to learn new ways of coping and dealing with feelings .
Getting over the immediate effects of alcohol is pritty quick , 3 days was good for me , 3 weeks excellent , 3 months and i felt completely different .. 6 months and a depression i did'nt know i had started to lift ..
5 days
Bestwishes, M
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: maldives
Posts: 34
Thank you,
I really am quite emotional and overwhelmed by the response i've had here. I really am determined to do this. The more I read on the forum, the more I am realizing the size of the hill i've got to climb and that's a bit daunting. I'm getting anxious now as later on this month i'm planning to go back to the UK, I haven't seen anyone for about 2 years and everyone will be wanting to go for a beer or glass of wine. Not sure how i'm going to deal with this. (any ideas?)
I really am quite emotional and overwhelmed by the response i've had here. I really am determined to do this. The more I read on the forum, the more I am realizing the size of the hill i've got to climb and that's a bit daunting. I'm getting anxious now as later on this month i'm planning to go back to the UK, I haven't seen anyone for about 2 years and everyone will be wanting to go for a beer or glass of wine. Not sure how i'm going to deal with this. (any ideas?)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Recovery was a time of big changes for me - I had to make changes in the things I used to do, and the people I used to hang around with.
I also had to learn to say no thanks...and to stand by it.
It's not easy...but it's not impossible either...you just have to decide which side of the fence you're on John.
Try not to jump to far ahead tho - a month or so can be an eternity in early recovery - you may be surprised at how you feel by the time you get back to the UK.
D
I also had to learn to say no thanks...and to stand by it.
It's not easy...but it's not impossible either...you just have to decide which side of the fence you're on John.
Try not to jump to far ahead tho - a month or so can be an eternity in early recovery - you may be surprised at how you feel by the time you get back to the UK.
D
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
keep your eyes focused on the path in front of you and work it one day at a time. like Dee said, thanks but no thanks is an acceptable answer. be confident in yourself when you say it. it helped me in the beginning to check out this site often. for me, very often. i read threads and just took in the amazing display of humanity this site shows and even participated (what a rush!), posted threads when i needed to and chatted. this place was my safe haven. even now, in my sober 7 months i can probably count on 1 hand the number of days i haven't been on this site. this place is an invaluable tool.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Hi John
Welcome, nice that your here!
In terms of pressure from others to drink I think of the following points when I recieve that pressure.
1. 'No' - is a complete sentence. You don't have to give reasons why, just no.
2. For me there is never a few drinks. If I had a certain amount to drink (which was always too much), the only thing that would make me feel better the next day was to carry on drinking, which was fatal for me. The suffering and anxiety for the next few days was horrendous. So a beer or a wine was never worth it.
3. I have never regretted not drinking. I have regretted drinking, but never regretted not drinking.
4. Think the whole evening and next day out. Will it be a few beers or glasses of wine with your mates? Or will it turn into carnage and the repurcussions go on for days.
You could also turn up to any home coming events in a leotard with your yoga mat and green tea and say that you have found Thailand to have awoken your inner yoga spiritual being and why not everyone sit on the floor and meditate?!!!
Welcome, nice that your here!
In terms of pressure from others to drink I think of the following points when I recieve that pressure.
1. 'No' - is a complete sentence. You don't have to give reasons why, just no.
2. For me there is never a few drinks. If I had a certain amount to drink (which was always too much), the only thing that would make me feel better the next day was to carry on drinking, which was fatal for me. The suffering and anxiety for the next few days was horrendous. So a beer or a wine was never worth it.
3. I have never regretted not drinking. I have regretted drinking, but never regretted not drinking.
4. Think the whole evening and next day out. Will it be a few beers or glasses of wine with your mates? Or will it turn into carnage and the repurcussions go on for days.
You could also turn up to any home coming events in a leotard with your yoga mat and green tea and say that you have found Thailand to have awoken your inner yoga spiritual being and why not everyone sit on the floor and meditate?!!!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Meetings in Thailand | AA Thailand
Welcome to AA Thailand | AA Thailand
Contact Form | AA Thailand
Search: aa thailand or put in your city and thailand.
Welcome to AA Thailand | AA Thailand
Contact Form | AA Thailand
Search: aa thailand or put in your city and thailand.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: maldives
Posts: 34
Thanks Sasha!
I certainly like the first point!
2) thats the same with me, i can never just have a couple
thank you for the advice, i know certain people back home who things could get very heavy with in regards to drinking.. I dont want to totally avoid them, but i'm going to cross that bridge when i get there.
I am quite spiritual anyway, so investing in a mat and some tea might be a good idea!
I certainly like the first point!
2) thats the same with me, i can never just have a couple
thank you for the advice, i know certain people back home who things could get very heavy with in regards to drinking.. I dont want to totally avoid them, but i'm going to cross that bridge when i get there.
I am quite spiritual anyway, so investing in a mat and some tea might be a good idea!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Welcome to the site! 
Getting sober isn't easy but it's possible with some effort and changes to your life. I got sober almost three years ago and haven't been this happy in a long time. You can do this!
Getting sober isn't easy but it's possible with some effort and changes to your life. I got sober almost three years ago and haven't been this happy in a long time. You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Posts: 64
Originally Posted by johnthediver 
Hi everybody,
I've joined this forum as i feel i need a bit of support in my mission to be free from the control of alcohol. I've had issues with drinking from my teens (im 35 now), its a case of if i don't drink i'm ok i used to have 2 or 3 days off alcohol and then drop back into the habit believing i was ok. My main issue is if i have 1, i will continue drinking until i'm a mess. I believe this has had a massive effect on my last 2 relationships, while i'm trying to get the last one back on track, i'm doing this for me, not her. I've been 5 days dry now but am really getting pressured by these horrible cravings that i'm getting. Its driving me insane, i'm determined not to give up, so i've come here hopefully to meet like minded people who might just help me through this difficult time.
John
I've joined this forum as i feel i need a bit of support in my mission to be free from the control of alcohol. I've had issues with drinking from my teens (im 35 now), its a case of if i don't drink i'm ok i used to have 2 or 3 days off alcohol and then drop back into the habit believing i was ok. My main issue is if i have 1, i will continue drinking until i'm a mess. I believe this has had a massive effect on my last 2 relationships, while i'm trying to get the last one back on track, i'm doing this for me, not her. I've been 5 days dry now but am really getting pressured by these horrible cravings that i'm getting. Its driving me insane, i'm determined not to give up, so i've come here hopefully to meet like minded people who might just help me through this difficult time.
John
Today will be my 3rd day and yesterday was definitely a difficult day for me, but I found coming to this forum often has really helped. I may not respond as much as I would like to, but just reading everything is really powerful.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)
