What to do when you are craving a beer and have the perfect opertunity to get awayalc
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Scottsboro, AL.
Posts: 81
What to do when you are craving a beer and have the perfect opertunity to get awayalc
With drinking a six PAC or so without anyone finding out?
My wife is at a rehearsal dinner tonight. I will join her for the dinner part then come home around 8:30 or 9:00. She is staying the night with the rest of the girls. I am off work tomorrow and could kill about 4 beers and spend the next few hours chilling with 3 or 4 more. What should stop me?
I am on day 3 and I do not drink enough to suffer from the shakes or anything like that. That one fact makes my mind play tricks on me like... Maybe I am not alcoholic but rather just someone who loves beer and that is it.
Does every alcoholic who gets to the point of being hospitalized just to go a few days without alcohol go through this stage?
...... Thanks
My wife is at a rehearsal dinner tonight. I will join her for the dinner part then come home around 8:30 or 9:00. She is staying the night with the rest of the girls. I am off work tomorrow and could kill about 4 beers and spend the next few hours chilling with 3 or 4 more. What should stop me?
I am on day 3 and I do not drink enough to suffer from the shakes or anything like that. That one fact makes my mind play tricks on me like... Maybe I am not alcoholic but rather just someone who loves beer and that is it.
Does every alcoholic who gets to the point of being hospitalized just to go a few days without alcohol go through this stage?
...... Thanks
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 22
Yes....I had the same internal dialogue. I've also had the same dialogue about pot and pills. I'm not saying everyone is the same but it ended with me being addicted. Your brain tries to rationalize behaviors it become accustomed to......and for me the 'rationalizing' lead to abuse. Try a night alone without the beer. You'll feel better about yourself in the morning.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 516
First few days I found very hard. I live by myself, mainly drinking at home alone so no one to ever notice if I'm drinking. The only way I got through it was by distracting myself. Going out for a walk, staying on SR, going to the movies, calling someone for a chat, going for a drive. There was absolutely no point in my trying to talk myself out of it because my addict voice always had a stronger argument. I just needed distraction. It gets easier after a few days.
Just know this - the urges come and go in waves. However intense a craving gets, it does go away. Good luck, you can do this.
Just know this - the urges come and go in waves. However intense a craving gets, it does go away. Good luck, you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 69
I'm sort of with you. The only thing stopping me from going to get myself wasted is me knowing that I need to stop before things get worse. I won't get reprimanded by anyone. I work in a different city than where my family lives, so they wouldn't know. I could go get a bottle to kill after work and no one would know or care but me. Fortunately I've started to care and have read enough stories of how much worse things could be if I don't get my drinking under control, and by under control I mean stopped.
What stops me is the possibility of it getting worse, not the promise of me getting better.
What stops me is the possibility of it getting worse, not the promise of me getting better.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
What should stop me?
I realised for a lot of my life I stayed a teenager - I was always looking to 'get away' with things.
I wasn't getting away with anything - I was ruining my health, screwing up my head, and whether my loved ones knew or not, I reckon I was basically giving them the bird.
All that may sound harsh - but it's not meant to be. I did the same and worse.
I really regret those years now, tho.
Think long term LD - think about the consequences or your drinking..think about what bought you here.
Think about who you want to be.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
This is the first thing you posted here Lyingdog....I love that name by the way.
Please tell me that I am not the only one
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That has lost the trust of everyone important to him/her. My wife can't believe a word I say anymore because of all the lies I have told her. It is always about drinking. I hide how much I drink and lie about it. I sneer out of the house when she sleeps to drink more. When I get busted I tell her I will not ever do it again (with good intentions) but when I drink all of my opinions and moral values are gone. The next day I feel so much guilt and anxiety. I tell myself that I will do better but deep down I know tht will change with a few drinks.
The first thing I had to do to get alcohol out of my life for good....Was getting honest with myself.
Please tell me that I am not the only one
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That has lost the trust of everyone important to him/her. My wife can't believe a word I say anymore because of all the lies I have told her. It is always about drinking. I hide how much I drink and lie about it. I sneer out of the house when she sleeps to drink more. When I get busted I tell her I will not ever do it again (with good intentions) but when I drink all of my opinions and moral values are gone. The next day I feel so much guilt and anxiety. I tell myself that I will do better but deep down I know tht will change with a few drinks.
The first thing I had to do to get alcohol out of my life for good....Was getting honest with myself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 111
You aren't craving *a* singular beer. You're craving 6+.
Just think about what having those beers would accomplish. Nothing. Drinking is a rather pointless hobby, I've learned.
To quote:
Just think about what having those beers would accomplish. Nothing. Drinking is a rather pointless hobby, I've learned.
To quote:
Originally Posted by flutter 
"I have never regretted not drinking" (when thinking about how I'll "miss out" by not drinking very early in recovery). Understanding that I wouldn't wake up thinking "Dang, I wish I would have gotten trashed last night" was some weird learning curve for me, and it stuck. 4 years later I still have never regretted not drinking.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Hey thanks for the quote, driftapart 
Here's one that I love (that I did not come up with): "Integrity is what you do when no one is watching".
When I was an active alcoholic, I LOVED those times when "no one would know", I could drink, not be bothered by anything or anyone, sleep in the next day.. seemingly heaven (in my alcoholic state of mind). A few years past that, and with the above quote, and with a ton of recovery work.. that type of thinking (that I used to do) appalls me. I'm in the "no matter what" category anymore.. I will not drink, no matter what. Never again, not for any reason. Not having to even consider it as a possibility was a gigantic weight off my shoulders.. (and you wont regret not drinking
).
Here's one that I love (that I did not come up with): "Integrity is what you do when no one is watching".
When I was an active alcoholic, I LOVED those times when "no one would know", I could drink, not be bothered by anything or anyone, sleep in the next day.. seemingly heaven (in my alcoholic state of mind). A few years past that, and with the above quote, and with a ton of recovery work.. that type of thinking (that I used to do) appalls me. I'm in the "no matter what" category anymore.. I will not drink, no matter what. Never again, not for any reason. Not having to even consider it as a possibility was a gigantic weight off my shoulders.. (and you wont regret not drinking
).
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 100
One of my favorite movies is "Quiz Show" - a story about a man who cheated on a television game show (and how it eats away at him). One of the characters tells a story about how a family member had an affair and confessed even though he didn't have to. When asked why, since he could have gotten away with it - he replies "it was the getting away with it part (he) couldn't live with . . ."
From your previous posts it seems like you feel so much guilt for lying to your wife about drinking - why give yourself more to feel guilty about?
It is completely normal for you to be having these feelings - about no one knowing - and about questioning whether you are an alcoholic.
One thing that stuck with me once was "If I'm an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink. If I'm not. I don't have to."
Give yourself some more sober time before you make any decisions. One thing that is absolutely guaranteed is that you will not regret it tomorrow if you don't drink tonight.
From your previous posts it seems like you feel so much guilt for lying to your wife about drinking - why give yourself more to feel guilty about?
It is completely normal for you to be having these feelings - about no one knowing - and about questioning whether you are an alcoholic.
One thing that stuck with me once was "If I'm an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink. If I'm not. I don't have to."
Give yourself some more sober time before you make any decisions. One thing that is absolutely guaranteed is that you will not regret it tomorrow if you don't drink tonight.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
I think this is a good reminder for you \/ (your first post here on SR)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-only-one.html
All of the best in your recovery, you can do this 
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-only-one.html
Originally Posted by Lyingdog
That has lost the trust of everyone important to him/her. My wife can't believe a word I say anymore because of all the lies I have told her. It is always about drinking. I hide how much I drink and lie about it. I sneer out of the house when she sleeps to drink more. When I get busted I tell her I will not ever do it again (with good intentions) but when I drink all of my opinions and moral values are gone. The next day I feel so much guilt and anxiety. I tell myself that I will do better but deep down I know tht will change with a few drinks.
I hope and Pre that I never drink another drop and will gain the trust of my wife sooner rather than later. My story is longer than the above but that is where I am at right now.
I am happy to be a part of this message board! It is nice to be able to share with people who understand me. My wife is not an alcohaulic and does not understand that I am a different person when I drink. I quit drinking for 5or 6 years and, a few months ago, decided it would be good for me to start drinking again. I thought it would loosen me up and get along with my wife better. I was right. But after a few weeks I lost what little control I had. I am just the way I was before. How could I foreget why I quit in the first place.
This time I am going to commit my self to meetings and a sponsor!
Thanks....
I hope and Pre that I never drink another drop and will gain the trust of my wife sooner rather than later. My story is longer than the above but that is where I am at right now.
I am happy to be a part of this message board! It is nice to be able to share with people who understand me. My wife is not an alcohaulic and does not understand that I am a different person when I drink. I quit drinking for 5or 6 years and, a few months ago, decided it would be good for me to start drinking again. I thought it would loosen me up and get along with my wife better. I was right. But after a few weeks I lost what little control I had. I am just the way I was before. How could I foreget why I quit in the first place.
This time I am going to commit my self to meetings and a sponsor!
Thanks....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Scottsboro, AL.
Posts: 81
Ok everyone.... Thanks a lot. I have passed a big test tonight. Right now I am sitting in my reasy chair wit my 3 year old boy sleeping in my arms. My six year old girl is sleeping I the bed. I am sober. I could have drank tonight and came very close. I went to a rehearsal dinner that a lot of alcohol was being served. The had plenty of kegs. I even filled someone's cup for them. I played with all the children, including my own, and left around 9:30. Next was the big Challange..... Driving past all the gas stations without stopping. I was very very tempted and my craving was high. In the end I just took my kids home and got on SR.
Thanks to all who posted and encouraged me. Starting this thread before leaving kept me sober tonight. I only hope I can help one of you in some way one day.
Well.... Day three is all but behind me and day 4 will be another tough one. The wedding is tomorrow and everyone their will be big drinkers. It is an all out wedding and will be one big drinking party. I will talk to everyone tomorrow and thanks again... I love you all!
Thanks to all who posted and encouraged me. Starting this thread before leaving kept me sober tonight. I only hope I can help one of you in some way one day.
Well.... Day three is all but behind me and day 4 will be another tough one. The wedding is tomorrow and everyone their will be big drinkers. It is an all out wedding and will be one big drinking party. I will talk to everyone tomorrow and thanks again... I love you all!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
This is a link for Thanksgiving....but it works for weddings too.
There's no reason at all why you can't stay sober tomorrow LD, if you want to
Plan ahead - think about the kinds of situations you're likely to face...have an escape plan if things get too hot...
you can do this...it's in your power
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
There's no reason at all why you can't stay sober tomorrow LD, if you want to
Plan ahead - think about the kinds of situations you're likely to face...have an escape plan if things get too hot...
you can do this...it's in your power
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
This was one of your posts too...
I have to be strong and never foreget (AGAIN) that I am powerless against it and that my life will become unmanageable if I do not leave alcohaul alone.
You have a desire to stop and a desire to drink. One will bring positive things to your life, one will bring negative things (and already has). You're the only one that can decide, but I hope you will consider your wife as well when you make your decision.
I didn't get the shakes either, but that doesn't mean that next phase wasn't coming down the line-it's progressive. Think of it like a long train that starts out in a good neighborhood and ends up in a dangerous one. You can choose to get off where everything is safe, or you can keep riding until you're forced to get off in the bad neighborhood and unable to find help.
I have to be strong and never foreget (AGAIN) that I am powerless against it and that my life will become unmanageable if I do not leave alcohaul alone.
You have a desire to stop and a desire to drink. One will bring positive things to your life, one will bring negative things (and already has). You're the only one that can decide, but I hope you will consider your wife as well when you make your decision.
I didn't get the shakes either, but that doesn't mean that next phase wasn't coming down the line-it's progressive. Think of it like a long train that starts out in a good neighborhood and ends up in a dangerous one. You can choose to get off where everything is safe, or you can keep riding until you're forced to get off in the bad neighborhood and unable to find help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
At the wedding tomorrow, take some time and really observe the people. . . especially the heavy drinkers. I know for me it was a very educational experience to be sober around such drunkenness.
My life got better when I stopped drinking. For me it really is as simple as that. I have no desire to return to what I was before. I have developed a deep compassion for the ones that are still in the throes of addiction. And I developed compassion for myself along the way.
Enjoy the wedding!
My life got better when I stopped drinking. For me it really is as simple as that. I have no desire to return to what I was before. I have developed a deep compassion for the ones that are still in the throes of addiction. And I developed compassion for myself along the way.
Enjoy the wedding!
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