Huey

Hi All.
I've been alcohol free for a few months using Rational Recovery, AVRT. All compulsion and cravings have long since gone, my only problem is that I now seem to be using spending as a sort of emotional 'fix me'. It's not really crazy amounts of money, but I seem to be habitually buying myself gifts to make myself feel better.
Has anyone else had any experience of this kind of behaviour or have any suggestions ?
Many Thanks.

Change4good

Oh friend, I have done the same. At least you know you have a slight compulsion possibly brewing that you need to get a handle on. :-)

I bought a fancy tea pot, new work out clothes, and loads of new vitamins. Ostensibly all good things that advance recovery. But the thing is, I HAVE a tea pot, work out clothes, and get plenty of naturally occuring vitamins in wholesome food.

So I had to put a moratorium on the spending. Considered the amount I was saving on not buying beer and wine, and thought how much bigger that amount would be if I cut in other areas as well.

Long winded answer to simply say. . .yes. I have been there. :-)

OklaBH

yeah Ive struggled to find healthy habits. Its super common to trade one addiction for another. 9 times out of 10 its either sex, gambling, or food. An AA lady I know tells us everytime I see her at a meeting about how much she made at the casino, how much she lost blah blah blah. I know of one person that told her she has traded up one devil for another. She justifies it as "but Im not drinking" Oh well...just glad Im not one of her sponsees.

tomsteve

welp, good to read ya see it's a fix and if yer like me, buying that stuff is just like drinking: temporary happiness. then guilt. i had to work hard at discipline. did i want to get weller or possibly lead myself back to a drink? what was missing in my life that i thought buying stuff was gonna make me happy?

elizabeth1967

Maybe you can buy yourself something every month that passes that your sober probably still cheaper then all the money you spent on alcohol.

SASA

I always feel guilty spending things on myself. And yes sometimes I buy things because I think I should reward myself. But than on the other side: Why would this be wrong? I work hard for my money and what I have.
Actually I spent more money on my cats and significant other than on myself.......

2granddaughters

It's been my experience that the disease of alcoholism wants to be fed ...

If you don't feed it alcohol it wants food, bling, sex, drugs, work, gambling, strip bars etc..... AND IT WILL GET FED !

If you are going to dance with the bear... the bear is going to lead.
If you choose to have sex with a gorilla... it won't be over until the gorilla says it's over.

It's also been my experience (if you are an alcoholic of my sort) that we are never cured but can have a "daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition".

I wish you the best in your recovery. Your post is very pertinent to our disease.

Bob R

CarolD

Hmm..
What works best for me is always paying in cash
No cards or checks

There is something about seeing real money leave my billfold
that deters me from overdoing...

Yes I budget for special things...impulse buying is what gets
many in financial hot water IMO

Huey...well done on your sobreity...

Yazi

I am on my third day of being sober (my first post here too ) and I am concerned that I might do this as well with spending money. I really have to retrain my mind which is going to be very hard. I tend to want and then have to deal with the guilt. My body feels great when not drinking, but my mind keeps coming up with excuses to do it.

Zee

In the first 6 months of sobriety... I bought socks. I have 2 large draws full! Unworn!
Maybe there is a psychiatrist that can read into this, because I can't explain it!

I am pleased to say that this phase has passed

Zee

Thinking about it, you're probably just being normal. Isn't that why we buy nice things, for personal benefit?