did i relapse?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: mpls MN
Posts: 5
did i relapse?
Im a little over 2 years clean from a ten year opiate addiction. After a bad morning and fighting with my parents that are in the middle of a divorce I was having a pretty bad panic attack and was all out of my blood pressure medicine. With out thinking I took two clonadine from an old script because I knew they would help..
well that was 2 hours ago. These were prescribed to me when I first got out of treatment.
But I still feel bad for self medicating. Really bad. Like I just shot up with heroin bad.
Do I count this as a relapse or am I just being way to hard on myself?
Thanks for reading.
well that was 2 hours ago. These were prescribed to me when I first got out of treatment.
But I still feel bad for self medicating. Really bad. Like I just shot up with heroin bad.
Do I count this as a relapse or am I just being way to hard on myself?
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
You made a lapse in judgement. You can STOP right there, say I won't make that mistake again & move on.
Don't beat yourself up.
It is only a relapse if you intend to keep on with it. IMO
If you nip it in the bud before it takes you over, it is a learning experience, not to be repeated.
And welcome aboard
Don't beat yourself up.
It is only a relapse if you intend to keep on with it. IMO
If you nip it in the bud before it takes you over, it is a learning experience, not to be repeated.
And welcome aboard
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Tony,
Was your plan to quit opiates only? Or both opiates and benzos? I guess that is the question. I would definitely not trade 1 addiction for the other, but you did it once in 2 years. Call it a relapse if your plan was to never take a benzo again, but the relapse only needs to last 15 minutes. I would throw the rest away and move forward. Call it a lapse in judgement if it was not a part of your plan. If you were addicted to opiates, it will be very easy to become addicted to benzos.
Good luck, and be proud of yourself because you are doing great!
Was your plan to quit opiates only? Or both opiates and benzos? I guess that is the question. I would definitely not trade 1 addiction for the other, but you did it once in 2 years. Call it a relapse if your plan was to never take a benzo again, but the relapse only needs to last 15 minutes. I would throw the rest away and move forward. Call it a lapse in judgement if it was not a part of your plan. If you were addicted to opiates, it will be very easy to become addicted to benzos.
Good luck, and be proud of yourself because you are doing great!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 13
Instead of worrying what to call it, focus on what caused you to have a panic attack exactly ( I know you said fight with parents who are divorcing..which is stressful enough). I would talk to your parents and inform them of how all of this is affecting you now. It is a very slippery slope and there is no in-between or gray areas. Move on from this, get your blood pressure meds refilled asap. If you feel you can't talk to your parents write them a letter about your feelings give each a copy! You should be proud of yourself thus far, stay focused on your happiness and well being.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
That's such a personal decision. My DOC is liquor, but if I took another 'drug', or medication that wasn't prescribed for a current medical issue I would probably count it as a relapse, a relapse back to old ways of dealing with life.. which I know better than to do at this point in my recovery. That's just me though, and my personal opinion.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: mpls MN
Posts: 5
I didn't understand it was a benzo until after I took it and did a lil more research. I was giving it to me for blood pressure, and took it for that purpose. With absolute no intentions of getting a buzz.
About the not quitting bonzes part I never really thought of it as it wasn't my doc. But where I am at now, I want nothing to do with them.
I like the lapse of judgement, instead of relapse.
I don't think I will call this one but its bugging the crap out me.
And I would not do this again tomorrow. I fell worse than before I took them.
Thanks for reading and responding. This seems like a great forum.
About the not quitting bonzes part I never really thought of it as it wasn't my doc. But where I am at now, I want nothing to do with them.
I like the lapse of judgement, instead of relapse.
I don't think I will call this one but its bugging the crap out me.
And I would not do this again tomorrow. I fell worse than before I took them.
Thanks for reading and responding. This seems like a great forum.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: mpls MN
Posts: 5
Not NA. I do have a good group to go to a few times a week though. I actually went this morning and left in a good place. Got a call from my lawyer about a workmans comp case that's been going on for ages. Which turned out to be great phone call. Then I called my oldman to give him the good news and he immediatly went off on me with some bs. Before he was done my mom was beeping in. That's where everything just went to crap. I made the thread a couple hrs later.
Been reading my book trying to relax.
Anywaus Tues-thurs I have a good group that I love.
Been reading my book trying to relax.
Anywaus Tues-thurs I have a good group that I love.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by Tony612 
With out thinking I took two clonadine from an old script because I knew they would help..
So, if you did take clonadine, as opposed to Klonipin (clonazepam), then no matter whether you meant to, didn't mean to, whatever... It is not a relapse, however you look at it.
If you are having a lot of panic attacks, see your doctor, which, you should do anyway, since you ran out of your BP meds... And I agree with Dee, don't take old meds, especially if you don't have an active prescription for it... Now go clean out your medicine cabinet.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Oops, I was thinking Klonopin or clonazepam. No way is clonidine a relapse it is for blood pressure, Thanks Mark for pointing that out. Sorry about the confusion. Wow big mistake on my part. Back to 2nd grade reading comprehension for me. 
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