O/T Closing for Al-anon meetings
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O/T Closing for Al-anon meetings
Dear all-
I am part of a small group that is going to be starting a new Al-anon meeting later this spring. It is adding another night to our small community, not "breaking off" from any of the other meetings. Our hope is to reach more people, new location and new night.
I was thinking of the a post from a bit ago and there was a lot of talk about closings at meetings at that time. Typically where I live we close with the Lord's Prayer, but I am curious what else is available to bring back as options to this group.
Thanks in advance.
I am part of a small group that is going to be starting a new Al-anon meeting later this spring. It is adding another night to our small community, not "breaking off" from any of the other meetings. Our hope is to reach more people, new location and new night.
I was thinking of the a post from a bit ago and there was a lot of talk about closings at meetings at that time. Typically where I live we close with the Lord's Prayer, but I am curious what else is available to bring back as options to this group.
Thanks in advance.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Somewhere in the big ole' world....
Posts: 545
Our group closes with the Serenity Prayer and Al-Anon declaration. Don't know if you have an Al-Anon Service Manual, that has a lot of good suggestions for openings/closings and how to start a group.
The best of luck starting your group to reach out to others in need. Keep us posted on how you do.
The best of luck starting your group to reach out to others in need. Keep us posted on how you do.
I AM CANADIAN
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Niagara Region, Canada
Posts: 2,578
Originally Posted by stairs 
How about the Serenity Prayer?
God,
Grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
God,
Grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
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I don't even think I know the declaration and will look into it.
Chairperson having the choice is a great idea too. I have not yet started reading the Service Manual but I have it available. I spent the evening typing out (for a notebook) the opening, closing etc and where my idea came from.
Chairperson having the choice is a great idea too. I have not yet started reading the Service Manual but I have it available. I spent the evening typing out (for a notebook) the opening, closing etc and where my idea came from.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 693
This is what is used for closing at the meetings in my area. It must be an Al Anon standard? We hold hands. I love this, it always makes me tear up and it's pretty neutral.
I put my hand in yours,
And together we can do,
What we could never do alone.
No longer is there a sense of hopelessness
No longer must we each depend
Upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now,
Reaching out our hands
For power and strength greater than our own.
And, as we join hands,
We find love and understanding
Beyond our wildest dreams.
(And then they say: "Keep coming back, it works!")
I put my hand in yours,
And together we can do,
What we could never do alone.
No longer is there a sense of hopelessness
No longer must we each depend
Upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now,
Reaching out our hands
For power and strength greater than our own.
And, as we join hands,
We find love and understanding
Beyond our wildest dreams.
(And then they say: "Keep coming back, it works!")
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Somewhere in the big ole' world....
Posts: 545
The Al-Anon Declaration: (pg 22, Al-Anon/Alateen Groups at Work 2010-2013)
Let it begin with me
When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,
Let the hand of Al-Anon and Alateen
always be there, and Let it Begin with me.
Let it begin with me
When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,
Let the hand of Al-Anon and Alateen
always be there, and Let it Begin with me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
My group closes with the Serenity Prayer and then with the saying "Keep coming back, it works if you work it, and you're worth it."
I'm a Bible-thumping Christian, but I think the Lord's Prayer would feel totally out of place in a meeting for me. Maybe because some of my Al-Anon friends are Jewish, Buddhist, and atheist. And the "group consciousness" and group culture is very much about what we have in common, not what sets us apart.
I'm a Bible-thumping Christian, but I think the Lord's Prayer would feel totally out of place in a meeting for me. Maybe because some of my Al-Anon friends are Jewish, Buddhist, and atheist. And the "group consciousness" and group culture is very much about what we have in common, not what sets us apart.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
All the 12 Step meetings in my city that I've been to and heard of close with the Serenity Prayer addressed to 'The God of your understanding'. The Lord's Prayer assumes everyone at the meeting is Christian and that's not always going to be the case. I am not a Christian and I would feel uncomfortable and excluded.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
Most often at the meetings I attend we close with the Serenity Prayer. There are times when the Chair chooses to close with the Lord's Prayer. I am respectfully silent if that is the case, as although I fully respect different definitions of HP and was raised Christian, it is not the "HP of my understanding." I feel uncomfortable with the Lord's Prayer, but then again, when I Chair and therefore use the Serenity Prayer I prefer "HP," "Universe," or "Creator" as I begin. Perhaps that makes others uncomfortable...so I remember "Take what you like and leave the rest!"
posie
posie
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 588
Our group conscience voted on the choice of the three closings. I would have preferred not to include the Lord's Prayer, but if it is chosen, I remain silent. I think it excludes those whose HP is not the Christian God, although it provides great serenity to those who are Christian.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
The meetings I attend use LET IT BEGIN WITH ME and KEEP COMING BACK as our closing. Both meetings voted to drop the Lord's Prayer from the closing in the last year.
I truly wish that all al-anon meetings would drop all references to god in its literature and replace it with higher power. As an atheist/Buddhist I sometimes get uncomfortable with all the thinly veiled Christian references in the program and steps. It got to the point where I stopped going for a while.
I'm now going again because I missed my friends and I was getting much more out of it than it was bothering me. I do have to admit my relationship with al-anon has changed.
As they say take what you want and leave the rest.
BTW, belief in god is not a requirement in Buddhism, the Buddha more or less left it up to you.
I truly wish that all al-anon meetings would drop all references to god in its literature and replace it with higher power. As an atheist/Buddhist I sometimes get uncomfortable with all the thinly veiled Christian references in the program and steps. It got to the point where I stopped going for a while.
I'm now going again because I missed my friends and I was getting much more out of it than it was bothering me. I do have to admit my relationship with al-anon has changed.
As they say take what you want and leave the rest.
BTW, belief in god is not a requirement in Buddhism, the Buddha more or less left it up to you.
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Thanks all (again)
I live in a very Christian area, but over the border to the north is much more liberal and meetings often have different closings. I like the idea of choice and will bring that to the group as a whole. It is kind of exciting to still be in the framework of what Al-anon offers but to have options.
I live in a very Christian area, but over the border to the north is much more liberal and meetings often have different closings. I like the idea of choice and will bring that to the group as a whole. It is kind of exciting to still be in the framework of what Al-anon offers but to have options.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: oakland ca
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by SoaringSpirits
This is what is used for closing at the meetings in my area. It must be an Al Anon standard? We hold hands. I love this, it always makes me tear up and it's pretty neutral.
I put my hand in yours,
And together we can do,
What we could never do alone.
No longer is there a sense of hopelessness
No longer must we each depend
Upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now,
Reaching out our hands
For power and strength greater than our own.
And, as we join hands,
We find love and understanding
Beyond our wildest dreams.
(And then they say: "Keep coming back, it works!")
I put my hand in yours,
And together we can do,
What we could never do alone.
No longer is there a sense of hopelessness
No longer must we each depend
Upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now,
Reaching out our hands
For power and strength greater than our own.
And, as we join hands,
We find love and understanding
Beyond our wildest dreams.
(And then they say: "Keep coming back, it works!")
Rozanne S is a founder of OA and wrote the OA handbook, I Put My Hand in Yours, in 1968. The OA Promise is the first paragraph in the handbook.
Some 12 step groups use it without giving proper credit; it is also copyrighted.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: oakland ca
Posts: 2
(And then they say: "Keep coming back, it works!")
Is there an official answer on the “chant” or “cheerleading” following the closing prayer in meetings?
....(2001 WSC) Conference members were in agreement that it is within group autonomy to determine the use of chants and/or prayers at the end of a meeting by making a group conscience decision that abides by the Traditions. The group conscience decision could then be stated at the end of the meeting. Conference members were reminded that our co-founder, Lois W., “It doesn’t matter what (prayer) we close with, but we close with a spiritual moment.” Details of this discussion can be found in the 2001 World Conference Summary, page 21.
So there is no official policy regarding chants; how groups close their meetings is the decision of an informed group conscience. The only reference to the closing at the end of a meeting in the Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual is the Suggested Al-Anon/Alateen Closing on page 24 (2006-2009 edition). It states at the end of the Suggested Closing: “It is suggested that groups close in a manner that is agreeable to the group conscience.” (The Service Manual can be found on the Al-Anon/Alateen members’ Website: under the “Group Services” tab. The password to enter the Members’ site is your group name followed by afg.)
Some additional things to think about regarding “chants”:
o Chants are not part of Al-Anon and came into the program from treatment centers and other 12 Step programs.
o When looking at the faces of newcomers when members are chanting and pumping their arms, they are clearly left out of the process.
o Such chants and behaviors may reinforce the idea that Al-Anon is a cult when we know that it isn’t nor do we want it to be perceived to be.
o The experience of some groups has been that adding the Al-Anon Declaration at the end of their chosen closing prayer seems to replace the chants. In 2006, every group was sent a table card to display the Declaration, and it is printed in the “Groups at Work” section of the Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual (page 24 in the 2006-2009
edition).
Is there an official answer on the “chant” or “cheerleading” following the closing prayer in meetings?
....(2001 WSC) Conference members were in agreement that it is within group autonomy to determine the use of chants and/or prayers at the end of a meeting by making a group conscience decision that abides by the Traditions. The group conscience decision could then be stated at the end of the meeting. Conference members were reminded that our co-founder, Lois W., “It doesn’t matter what (prayer) we close with, but we close with a spiritual moment.” Details of this discussion can be found in the 2001 World Conference Summary, page 21.
So there is no official policy regarding chants; how groups close their meetings is the decision of an informed group conscience. The only reference to the closing at the end of a meeting in the Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual is the Suggested Al-Anon/Alateen Closing on page 24 (2006-2009 edition). It states at the end of the Suggested Closing: “It is suggested that groups close in a manner that is agreeable to the group conscience.” (The Service Manual can be found on the Al-Anon/Alateen members’ Website: under the “Group Services” tab. The password to enter the Members’ site is your group name followed by afg.)
Some additional things to think about regarding “chants”:
o Chants are not part of Al-Anon and came into the program from treatment centers and other 12 Step programs.
o When looking at the faces of newcomers when members are chanting and pumping their arms, they are clearly left out of the process.
o Such chants and behaviors may reinforce the idea that Al-Anon is a cult when we know that it isn’t nor do we want it to be perceived to be.
o The experience of some groups has been that adding the Al-Anon Declaration at the end of their chosen closing prayer seems to replace the chants. In 2006, every group was sent a table card to display the Declaration, and it is printed in the “Groups at Work” section of the Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual (page 24 in the 2006-2009
edition).
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Thanks all-
I ended up with a list of three prayers that the person who reads the closing gets to choose from. The Lord's Prayer (which we close ALL the other meetings in town with), the Al-anon declaration, and The Serenity Prayer which we open with, but I actually like doing it twice in a meeting it feels like it comes full circle.
As I was preparing for starting this meeting, reading the Al-anon manual was what made me realize that there were choices. I change up a number of things from our other meetings and it was voted on. For example the order of the Welcome and the Preamble to the twelve steps etc.
I live in an isolated community, getting all the feedback has been so great. The meeting have really filled a niche and has quickly become one of the better attended meetings. It is earlier in the day then other meetings, at a different location, and is on a day that we did not previously have a meeting. It all is helping.
I ended up with a list of three prayers that the person who reads the closing gets to choose from. The Lord's Prayer (which we close ALL the other meetings in town with), the Al-anon declaration, and The Serenity Prayer which we open with, but I actually like doing it twice in a meeting it feels like it comes full circle.
As I was preparing for starting this meeting, reading the Al-anon manual was what made me realize that there were choices. I change up a number of things from our other meetings and it was voted on. For example the order of the Welcome and the Preamble to the twelve steps etc.
I live in an isolated community, getting all the feedback has been so great. The meeting have really filled a niche and has quickly become one of the better attended meetings. It is earlier in the day then other meetings, at a different location, and is on a day that we did not previously have a meeting. It all is helping.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
In the "How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics" Book pg 380 Chapter 44 - there is a Suggested Al-Anon/Alateen Closing
From my perspective, my first few meetings - This is what I heard ~ these words were written on my heart! They kept me coming back ~
"In closing, I would like to say that the opinions expressed here were strickly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest.
The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room and the confines of your mind.
A few special words to those of you who haven't been with us long: Whatever your problems, there are those among us who have had them too. If you try to keep an open mind you will find help. You will come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to bettered and no unhappiness to great to be lessened.
We aren't perfect. The wlecome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you will love us in a very special way- the same way we already love you.
Talk to each other reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or citicism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love and peace of th eprogram grow in you one day at a time.
Will all who care to, join me in closing with the ____________ prayer?"
Of course the last line you do not have to use if you do not wish to add a prayer - you can just use the line
When any one, any where reaches out for help,
let the hand of Al-Anon & Alateen always be there
and let it begin with me.
Just what my home group uses ~
PINK HUGS,
Rita
From my perspective, my first few meetings - This is what I heard ~ these words were written on my heart! They kept me coming back ~
"In closing, I would like to say that the opinions expressed here were strickly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest.
The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room and the confines of your mind.
A few special words to those of you who haven't been with us long: Whatever your problems, there are those among us who have had them too. If you try to keep an open mind you will find help. You will come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to bettered and no unhappiness to great to be lessened.
We aren't perfect. The wlecome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you will love us in a very special way- the same way we already love you.
Talk to each other reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or citicism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love and peace of th eprogram grow in you one day at a time.
Will all who care to, join me in closing with the ____________ prayer?"
Of course the last line you do not have to use if you do not wish to add a prayer - you can just use the line
When any one, any where reaches out for help,
let the hand of Al-Anon & Alateen always be there
and let it begin with me.
Just what my home group uses ~
PINK HUGS,
Rita
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