New to this!
New to this!
Hi.
Am at a complete turning point in my life. Have drunk for as long as I can remember and done some dreadful things in the past. Manage to hold down a professional career and even got promotion so have been able to fool myself that alcohol wasn't really an issue, but for the past couple of months it has really got out of control and I am now admitting to myself that I need help. I just feel so ashamed ....
Am at a complete turning point in my life. Have drunk for as long as I can remember and done some dreadful things in the past. Manage to hold down a professional career and even got promotion so have been able to fool myself that alcohol wasn't really an issue, but for the past couple of months it has really got out of control and I am now admitting to myself that I need help. I just feel so ashamed ....
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Brighton, UK
Posts: 164
welcome jeni glad you found SR , some great people here with lots of advice/support to help you stay sober, try not to worry about the shameful things from ur drinking days, weve all been there n done it, you wont shock any of us with that stuff trust me lol god knows ive done some REALLY bad things in my drinking, gotta let that stuff go though, it belongs in the past, the future is what matters now, its great that you've admitted you have a problem with the drink already, thats the first step to getting better and turning things around things get better from now on i assure you, have you considered AA?
best wishes
johnny
best wishes
johnny
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Welcome friend! I was much the same way... I had an amazing job going that I worked myself into with a lot of blood/sweat/tears... I would "reward" myself by drinking constantly. I lost that job and a lot more because I lost control of my drinking. I've been in survival mode for 3 years now and finally was able to stop drinking about 3 weeks ago and things seem a lot brighter already... you can do it! I hope to see you around here for a long time!
I actually did contact someone from AA during the week who was lovely but then last night I did my usual Friday night thing of getting completely drunk under the pretence of thinking I deserved to relax after a stressful week at work. Of course it did nothing whatsoever to relax me. I just woke up today feeling awful! Just wish I could drink in moderation but I fear that will never be possible for me.
I tried the moderation thing, didnt work for me. I did good for a while, but ended up hitting bottom again. I started drinking when I was 12. I am 40. I have been sober for 27 days. you can do it. One day at a time. Good luck
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Brighton, UK
Posts: 164
I actually did contact someone from AA during the week who was lovely but then last night I did my usual Friday night thing of getting completely drunk under the pretence of thinking I deserved to relax after a stressful week at work. Of course it did nothing whatsoever to relax me. I just woke up today feeling awful! Just wish I could drink in moderation but I fear that will never be possible for me.
Thank you all so much. Suddenly feel like I've made a whole new group of friends who accept me for who I am. At last. People I don't have to pretend with cos you all understand xxx
Jeni, we really do understand.
I think almost all of us wish and have tried to drink in moderation, but it usually ends up getting worse. Alcoholics can't do moderation. And, in fact, you might find it a relief when you stop drinking because the constant thoughts of alcohol will diminish.
You will be able to find healthy ways to relax at the end of the work week. We're here to offer support.
I think almost all of us wish and have tried to drink in moderation, but it usually ends up getting worse. Alcoholics can't do moderation. And, in fact, you might find it a relief when you stop drinking because the constant thoughts of alcohol will diminish.
You will be able to find healthy ways to relax at the end of the work week. We're here to offer support.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Wishing you the best.
Bob R (not too far from London, ON CANADA)
Welcome Jeni!
Yep - you have lots of friends now! I can certainly relate to your post..... Spent a long time justifying my drinking because from the outside, things looked pretty good. I didn't let on how much alcohol was controlling me, of course, or how many mornings I felt like I was holding on by a thread.
I was terrified to give it up (and didn't know if I could, really), but I glued myself to this place and took it a day at a time. Things really will get better. Today, I can't imagine ever going back to that life.
Glad you're here!
Yep - you have lots of friends now! I can certainly relate to your post..... Spent a long time justifying my drinking because from the outside, things looked pretty good. I didn't let on how much alcohol was controlling me, of course, or how many mornings I felt like I was holding on by a thread.
I was terrified to give it up (and didn't know if I could, really), but I glued myself to this place and took it a day at a time. Things really will get better. Today, I can't imagine ever going back to that life.
Glad you're here!
Thank you. Guess this is just the start for me. Going to focus on getting through the rest of the weekend without yielding to temptation. On my own this evening which doesn't help but going to write myself a list of everything in my life I've got to be thankful for, it's a miracle I haven't lost everything by now. Gonna focus on the many positives
It really is scary at first, but remember you only have to deal with today. Pick something today to look forward to: a nice meal, a warm bath, a new book, or just camping out with us! Pamper yourself, collect some positive quotes......
It's like playing a new instrument: it gets better with practice. You have to keep reminding yourself that you'll be able to play a beautiful song if you keep at it. Each day sober, each craving we get through, adds to our strength and sanity. I honestly never thought I'd stop thinking about (or wanting) a drink - I had to go on faith and what others said (that it would get better), and I'm so glad today that I did.
Don't buy into the fear, OK? (A great little ditty: F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real).
It's like playing a new instrument: it gets better with practice. You have to keep reminding yourself that you'll be able to play a beautiful song if you keep at it. Each day sober, each craving we get through, adds to our strength and sanity. I honestly never thought I'd stop thinking about (or wanting) a drink - I had to go on faith and what others said (that it would get better), and I'm so glad today that I did.
Don't buy into the fear, OK? (A great little ditty: F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real).
Hi Jeni,
It can be done, look around you There is much wisdom here, clear minds who have walked this path. The process is a simple two part program ... stop drinking and remain stopped. I am told the most important chip you will get at AA is the 24 hour chip ... I have earned more, but that is the only one I have and keep it with me as a reminder that it is a beginning of me being me again. There are many programs available which cater to many different stripes, faiths, philosophies and life styles .... all of it is free and easily accessible ... they are excellent tools to help you with the second part.
Forget the shame and the negative 'drives'. Ego and alcohol are passionate bed fellows.
Like you I had a 'big' job and a long and successful career until I could no longer control the drinking which usually started at 6 am and required a good dose of vodka to get me up to 'operating temperature' .... no longer, the job is history ... but so is the vodka and continues to be ... remember, asking for help is a sign of strength.
Wishing you all the best!
It can be done, look around you There is much wisdom here, clear minds who have walked this path. The process is a simple two part program ... stop drinking and remain stopped. I am told the most important chip you will get at AA is the 24 hour chip ... I have earned more, but that is the only one I have and keep it with me as a reminder that it is a beginning of me being me again. There are many programs available which cater to many different stripes, faiths, philosophies and life styles .... all of it is free and easily accessible ... they are excellent tools to help you with the second part.
Forget the shame and the negative 'drives'. Ego and alcohol are passionate bed fellows.
Like you I had a 'big' job and a long and successful career until I could no longer control the drinking which usually started at 6 am and required a good dose of vodka to get me up to 'operating temperature' .... no longer, the job is history ... but so is the vodka and continues to be ... remember, asking for help is a sign of strength.
Wishing you all the best!
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