Healthyfood

I relapsed after 6 days being sober. Only because I went to the party. I didn't enjoy drinking.
So after the party I continued to drink again and again. Now I'm at the point where I don't know how to stop it and restart my sobriety?

munchkin05

You start with today being day 1.
Forgive yourself for the lapse and move on. I know it's tough (perfectionist talking here!)
You can do it!

Healthyfood

munchkin05

I just know how hard the first 3 days are. Not sure what to do with all the parties that will come, I just can't relapse every time. And then again restart.

munchkin05

Maybe just avoid the parties for now? I shunned (and still do somewhat) parties that serve alcohol.
Later on, when I've got more time under my belt I plan to attend to parties but at this point I do not want anyone or anything weakening my resolve. You know?
You're going to have decide which comes first in your life. Prioritize.
Hang in there. You'll get there.

surrenderordie

try to start again mybe leave the partys alone till you have more sober time under you belt learn from it . if i can do it anyone can

DesperadoBlond

Hi!

I'm in pretty much the same spot! After a 5 year drinking career, I made it 3,5 months sober. Went to a party and relapsed. Then sober a week + relapse. Sober a few days + relapse.

However, I learned A LOT from the last relapses. I didn't get that magic feeling I seem to remember getting from drinking red wine. I felt like I became stupid, slow and just unintelligent from it all.

However, I am really scared of parties. I know I just might... I now believe all the people here who insist that one must find some kind of recovery, not just stop drinking. Also, one must have a strategy and a plan ready before going to events/parties.

aasharon90

Restarting your recovery doesnt have to
be hard and you don't have to go thru ur
recovery alone. Which is very very comforting.

For me, my experience began in rehab for
28 day plus a 6 week outpatiant aftercare
program via family intervention. Meaning
not by choice, but it was them doing for me
what i couldnt do for myself. To get the
help i so desperately needed in my life at
that time.

In rehab, i got knowledge of my alcholism,
the understanding of it and how it affects me
and those around me. Knowledge of anything
and everything is important to better understand
something. And with me, it was my addiction
to poison i was putting in my body and how it
was destroying me.

I was also handed tools to work with, such as
steps and principles of a recovery program to
incorperate in my everyday life one day at a time.

That experience began 21 yrs ago and today im
still using those tools to keep me sober today and
live by so i can enjoy my sobriety in a happy, joyous
and free way.

Each day is added to my journey as I continue
to pass on that knowledge experiences and hopes
of what it was like before during and after my
drinking career.

Im not alone today in my recovery because
i have the fellowship in spirit with me each day.

Start with one step or one day at a time building
a solid firm foundation in recovery to live ur life
upon with willingness, openmindedness and honesty.

scrambled2012

I know its going to be extreamly hard, but for me I know any hope I have of staying sober comes with not walking into a bar (going to the party), for at least the next 6 months, maybe longer. Low and behold, there I am today, every bar I pass, so hard to not walk in. I'm going to have to find something to replace the party, be to busy to go to the party, and/or learn to have fun in settings that don't involve alcohol. I'm going to have to not see the people i've seen for years, for as long as it takes for me to lose these cravings. my drinking friends have to become history if I have a prayer of winning this fight. big parts of my old self will have to die, get buried, and stay buried if I am to achieve anything worthwhile in life.

Start anew, examine everything, cut all harmful ties, and find healthy ways to fill the void. I have failed several times, and now am at day 5 only because of the formal problems I brought upon myself. I want to make the pain of my situation worthwhile with a successful change in my life....and know at least some of what needs to be done. Fighting to do it...is what will be a daily struggle.

Healthyfood

munchkin05

My concern is how to restart and be sober at least for 30 days. Parties will be very hard not to go to. But by going I will put myself again in the position how to restart.

scrambled2012

I'm not the best on this, but a whole lot of folks seem to agree..."one day at a time" is the only way to take it when it comes to resisting the cravings. Now, thinking smart and knowing what it will take to help win those daily fights, that is something you can put into month by month or year by year context...at least that is the strategy i have right now. if i am in a place or with people that are incompatable with the drinking habit, i am less likely to have a craving or be stuck wanting it in my mind for too long; there will be distractions.

What postion do you require to restart, is an interesting question. I hope it won't be like me, with outside harm snapping me to attention.

wheresthefun

Why?

Is someone standing over you, controlling you with strings, like a puppet? If not, then obviously, for now, the benefits you get from attending parties (real or perceived) outweigh your desire of getting and staying sober.

SSIL75

Not quite sure what that means?

Anyway I do know how hard it is to get to a day 1.

AVRT really helped me.

And thankfully the upsides of sobriety kick in really soon. Just waking up feeling good was a great motivator.

I was just the other day thinking about drinking (not considering drinking but just remembering it) and honestly the #1 reason why I can't go back is the hangovers. Not that I got brutal hangovers but feeling that underlying crappiness every.single.day was so incredibly exhausting and depressing.

Best of luck to you.

Healthyfood

surrenderordie and DesperadoBlond

Not sure how long does it take to get to the level where I could go to the party and feel good without alco.

Healthyfood

aasharon90

What kind of methods did you use to stay sober? Great post!

Healthyfood

scrambled2012

Well done! 5 days is a lot. I guess I will have to say no to the parties. Scary thought not drinking for a long time.

jocata

I had to come to the point where my sobriety is more important than any party where I was going to be tempted. I had to change my circle of friends. If I want to stay sober I have to do whatever it takes to stay that way, or I'm a dead man.

Go to some AA meetings, research other methods on this website. Find something that works for you.

The more you keep relapsing and try to start over, the worse the detox and withdrawals are going to be. I know that from experience.

God bless.

Healthyfood

SSIL75

I usually don't have hangovers. I just want to try to stay clean for at least a month. And then decide what to do next.

least

living sober used to be a scary thoughtfor me too but after two years sober i love it and wouldn't drink again for any reason.

avoid the parties for a while. learn how to live sober. it's worth it.

langkah

Looking back through your posts it seems your pattern is to go up to 6 days and then drink when you're trying not to drink.

You can decide not to ever-ever drink again if you like, but perhaps this is the point where you'll want to put more effort into staying sober than another in a long stream of ineffective ironclad decisions.

Just a thought. You'll stop when this current drunk you're on has run it's course, but in the meantime you may want to think about what type of life you want to live. It needn't be this way.

Healthyfood

jocata

True. Restart is harder that actually staying sober. I will choose the date today and prepare myself.

BTW Im not drinking today..